I am having an affair with my ex brother in law and he is married. We have always been great friends with a atraction to each other for 27 years. We lived together for a year when he seprated from his wife. He decided recently to try and make it work with his wife for his son because she made him feel like a loser dad she put the guilt trip on him. His wife said if she found out he even talked to me she would leave him. But yet he calls me everyday and sees me when I fly out there he said he made a misstake and he is in love with me but cant hurt her a second time hes afraid too because he just moved them to a new state . But yet they are unhappy and fight all the time because she hates it there. How could I let her find out with out it coming from me??
2007-08-05 03:53:31 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stay away from him, he's married. You should not let her know, or anyone and you should quit seeing him. You are not important enough to him for him to be with you all the time or pick you before. The destruction of their attempt at a family life is very selfish and you should not do it.
I realize that this will not be your favorite answer, but it's how it should be.
Find another man, without a partner and live the life you should live.
Will pray for you
2007-08-05 03:59:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry. He has no right to be with you. He probably does love you but here's the problem he loves her too. He is married to her. Break off all contact with him. He needs to decide. It is disrespectful to his wife to still see him. Of course his wife doesn't want him to talk to you. You would be better off moving on or waiting for this man to make up his mind. If you are the one who hurts his wife, he may turn on you. So your plan might backfire. Give it some deep thought before you get in the middle.
2007-08-05 04:30:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi hon...
you have found yourself in a precarious position... i think HE has to let her know, and do what HE wants.
apparently he's either too chicken to leave, or really doesn't want to? some people like misery or find it a "safe place" because they are so accustom to it....
maybe you could move on? this is a huge drama, and do you really want to continue it?
if you "let her find out without it coming from you" what kind of person does that make you?
maybe you could talk with a professional about this... from where i sit, even if he DID move with you, it would cause more conflict and dysfunction in everyone's lives.
lots to consider.. i hope your life changes for the better. take care of YOU.. hugs
2007-08-05 04:06:10 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear ding-bat dee-dee,
Your part-time lover doesn't love you and I can prove it. If he truly loved you as you claim he wouldn't have been able to leave you under any conditions. So the guilt excuse is B.S. Second, he sure and the hell wouldn't have moved out of state away from you. That's not love either. And, third he would have no problem leaving his wife. Why would a man so much in love with you have such a hard time leaving. Of course he's going to screw you when you fly out to see him. Of course he's going to give you the biggest line of B.S. to get you to continue to screw him for free. You're a idiot and are settling for crumbs. She's getting him, EVERY NIGHT OF THE WEEK. She's getting love, and support and everything. You're getting a cheap screw every once in awhile on his terms. It's ALL on HIS TERMS, not yours.
2007-08-05 06:50:32 · answer #4 · answered by Sondra 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a no win situation, if you do not tell and your sister in law finds out you knew she will hate you and that will affect your relationship with your nephews or nieces, and she is pregnant with your child and she is with your brother which makes it the child's uncle, this is all wrong, something wrong with your brother. I would tell, your brother is in the wrong severely and because of what the child's relationship is to him, yours related tell. He will get angry at first but he will come around he is your brother. And your sister in law deserves to know that she is living a lie, and he should be more concerned with his own kids, instead he is seeing a pregnant woman, a woman who is pregnant to his own brother.
2016-05-19 00:54:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you desperate or something. i think that you have low self esteem. Why in the world are you having an affair with a married man. You should seek Therapy. and wait a year or two before you start dating again, and make sure that the men you date are single. Married man. Do you always want something that you can never have.
2007-08-05 03:58:40 · answer #6 · answered by JillardG 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of the drama. If you keep seeing him you are making it easier for him to stay in the marriage. Tell him you care but he has made a choice and you don't want to interfere with that. Leave it be and if he does love you he will come to you and be in your life. Till then don't answer his calls and allow him to think that you will wait around for ever. Trust me he will follow the truth in his heart and you will know where it stands. Good luck and take care.
2007-08-05 05:58:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, why do you want her to know? What do you want to happen when she finds out about you? He loves his wife, let him work , he needs to closed that book, you can't. Don't let him fill your head with they have an unhappy marriage, because if he did he wouldn't be there. Just be there like you have been as a friend. Let him come to you.
2007-08-05 04:07:25 · answer #8 · answered by lydia t 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well IMHO, this whole situation is just a mess. If he loved you as much as he says he does, he would of left her for you a long time ago. He just wants both.If I were you I would leave him alone find a man who is single who loves ONLY you.Because the only person who is going to get hurt in this whole mess is the child. You are only setting yourself up for a world of hurt if you keep persuing this. Good luck.
2007-08-05 03:59:55 · answer #9 · answered by Mama J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wouldn't you rather make him have to "choose" to be with you than to "make" him be with you because he doesn't have any other choices?
The more you play off that it's no big deal whether he comes back to you or not, the more worried he's going to be about losing you.
Don't let him know that you're sitting around hoping that he comes back to you.
Let him wonder if you're finding someone else.
I'll bet if he has to start worrying about you having someone else, then he'll come running back to you alot sooner.
2007-08-05 04:01:26 · answer #10 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋