Us being his daughter & I. He has a good job that pays him $13.00 an hour.
Whenever he gets paid we go out and get stuff we need for the house and pay bills. The thing is when we go shopping, it's like he has to buy 2 of everything, One for us & one for his mom the same thing with the bills too.
I really think she's a financial burden. Shes in her 40's, doesnt have a job nor does she try to get one, neither does her "boyfriend", and she's a habitual drug user. For that reason I dont like my daughter around her.
She has a place of her own with her "boyfriend" and some other family members.
Anyway, I was wondering what you all think about this. Is it right for him to be supporting her when he has a family of his own now?
Also, his mom wasn't much of a "mom" as he was growing up. We have been together a long time.
what do you think about this?
2007-08-05 03:53:17 · 12 answers · asked by preggo&luvinit 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think he has respect for his mom.
but he needs to stop enabling her .
He chose to marry and raise a family and he needs to put you and your daughter first.
2007-08-05 04:11:36 · answer #1 · answered by fuzzykitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was going to say she could get a job but then I read your additional details and I gotta say, I;m a bit pissed off that a 21 year old could be so immature and irresponsible. That being said, just the fact that she can't hold down a simple part time job tells me she will be equally immature and irresponsible when it comes to living in your living room basically. You are NOT WRONG for telling your husband she cannot move in because its enough you are the only one working, now you'll have another ungrateful mouth to feed who will also demand pocket money. However, your husband is her father. He is parent and he may feel as though he should take care of her. Don't be surprised if he puts a fight over this. Remind him that this is not a personal attack on his daughter, the current circumstances are forcing you to rethink this whole living arrangement. God knows when she'd move out! If she can promise her father that she will get a job and contribute, then maybe you should consider her moving in for a few months or so. Give her a time frame otherwise she'll be on your couch for good. Tell her to get a job, she will have to contribute and she has only however long you are willing to have her. If you don't give her the time frame, you're effed.
2016-05-19 00:54:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right to keep your daughter away, at least until Gramma comes to her senses.
If your husband didn't help her out, what would happen to her? Would she move in with you? What's the alternative?
That is probably the question your husband has for himself.
Answering those questions truthfully, should help you keep things in perspective.
It doesn't sound as though he's blowing the budget by buying a few extra things for her and not giving her cash. He must know that that would be a mistake.
It may be the only alternative for now. You might ask your husband what he thinks.
2007-08-05 06:11:45 · answer #3 · answered by toota956 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...the easy way out is to say he should dump his mom and only support his family. And it would sure be easy for you or most women to say that. It's a bit harder for a guy....she is his mom. Even if she is a bad person or whatever, she is still his mom.
The 'fair' way to make an issue about this is to set up a budget and split it in three. Part one is 'Must' bills, then part two for him and part three for you. And each of you is free to do whatever they want with thier part.
Think if it was reversed, if your 'bad' mom needed money...would you be ok with him saying 'No she can't have any'.
2007-08-05 04:05:15 · answer #4 · answered by null_the_living_darkness 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what you're saying is true...mom need to get off her dead rear end and get a job. And for that dead beat of boyfriend he to carry the load. what does the other family member doing to help out their mom? your husband might feel that he is the only one (for now) in the position to help her out. he really care about his mom even if she have a drug problem. Have you talk to him about this in a way that will not cause a fight between the two of you?
2007-08-05 04:06:05 · answer #5 · answered by Thomas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think with her problems he shouldn't be supporting her, but just saying it to him is going to cause a problem. Have you ever tried to get him involved in al-anon or another support program for kids of addicts???
He needs to learn to see that what he does enables his mom to continue doing what she does. He needs to have his eyes opened to the fact that just because she is his mom he is not helping her... he is allowing her to keep destroying her life.
Good luck and hopefully he will see this someday!
2007-08-05 07:04:04 · answer #6 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"He has a good job that pays him $13.00 an hour." Wow $13.00 an hour...I make twice that much...but...his mother needs to get out and get her own job, so does his mother's boyfriend.
2007-08-05 13:31:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Mom needs to be supporting herself.
2007-08-05 03:59:42 · answer #8 · answered by Tyra99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he should be concentrating on your family and keep everyone else out of it, including his mom.
2007-08-05 04:29:10 · answer #9 · answered by OC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say, leave it to your husband, he knows what is he doing, and you don't question his judgement. after all that his mom, just do your part to be his wife and be a good mom to your child. don't care about the other part of his life.
don't get me wronged, i'm married, and having almost the same kind of issue. i prefer to keep my mouth shut. eventhough it kills me sometime.
2007-08-05 04:02:58 · answer #10 · answered by akaasa 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋