loved him for years we broke up he married now getting divorced says he still loves me I love him always have but trust is an issue. Is he going to break my heart again
2007-08-05 03:52:28 · 48 answers · asked by kazzy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Strangers here will give you the best advice! silly person
2007-08-05 03:55:20 · answer #1 · answered by the_tent_man36 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only person that knows what is right for you , is you. Try to think with your head and put aside the fact you loved him so much, as this will cloud your judgement. You see, he broke your heart, which didn't give you chance to fall out of love with him, so you're thinking of all the positives in the relationship you had in the past.
I'm guessing it was a while ago you were together, as he had to have time to get married, so he may have changed, grown up a little, you never know.
What you need to do is find out why he's now divorcing his wife, it could be a similar scenario that you went through, or it could be her doing the breaking up. If he has done to his wife what he did to you then he hasn't changed which will only lead to more heartache.
Look, you know in your heart what you want to do and no one can change that, just think with your head and remember, things can't just go back how they used to be, it would be a different relationship, which means he can't be reminded of the mistakes of your past together, and trust would be needed if you wanted it to work, are you ready and able for that? Good luck hun, I hope you're happy whatever your decision ;0)
2007-08-05 04:12:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will if the right situation arises. If he truly loved you when you were together, why did he divorce you? You say that trust will be an issue. It should be. When ever he goes out you will need to know where he is going, what he is doing and who he is with. In time this will wear on him. He will feel like he is on a leach.
You say that you have always loved him. What do you love about him? Trust is one of your core values. It can't be one of the reasons you love him.
Give yourself more time. You deserve more than he has given you. How has his behavior impacted your self esteem? Will you try to control who he is with? What if he spends time with another woman? Will you begin to think that if you let that go on he may like her more than he likes you. That is a stressful way to live.
Let him know he had his chance with you. That you will not come in second place to anyone else. He made the choice, Let him live with it.
2007-08-05 04:26:23 · answer #3 · answered by Tetonka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex-husband wanted a third chance, but because trust was a BIG issue I couldn't give it to him. The main thing you have to think about is, if you are going to be worried and not trust him while in the relationship is that happiness for you? I knew I would never have trusted my ex again and I would have lived in constant worry and anxiety, which is no life. If you feel you can get past the issue that created the distrust, than you have a chance at happiness. My issues were HUGE and constant. Bottom line, what is going to make you happy?
2007-08-05 04:00:30 · answer #4 · answered by just2letuknow 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't go back down that road again! You are basically his cushion to ease the blow of the divorce. He knows you still have feelings for him and he'll take advantage of that. It may take months but eventually things will go down hill and he'll break your heart again. If he genuinely wants to be back w/ you make him wait for you. Be his friend and only his friend till months after the divorce is final so you know that his intentions are good. BTW trust is one of the main ingredients for a healthy relationship, so make him earn back that trust before you even consider getting back w/ him.
2007-08-05 04:02:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without a doubt he'll break your heart again... and without a doubt... he's using you as familiar territory to fall back on until he gets his life together again... and without a doubt you still love him!
Should you... or shouldn't you... try again with him...? Well that's something only you can decide on... the easy answer is no... never... but that wont make you happy now... will it?
The other answer is... yes... go ahead and try again... but as you say... trust will not regrow so fast and you already know deep down that anyone who betrays you once... will decidedly do it again.
So if you do love him... and do want to try again... this time you go in with eyes wide open... and you know the risks you never knew before.
You're a bit older and wiser and less gullible... so... if you can handle the possible fallout and betrayal that may (or may not) follow... enjoy the moment... and don't allow yourself to walk the aisle with him... but merely keep him at arms length inside your heart... let him always wonder if you are so deeply attached as before... play it slightly cooler... let him sweat by making him aware that you are and intend to be... for a long time to come... free to choose as well!
Then don't talk about the past... unless it's relevant to what is going on today... constructively.. but always, always, always... as you listen to his protestations of love for you and his mistake on leaving you for her... mentally see a question mark above his head... and keep that question mark as your braking distance... to use as a mental note to yourself... that he wont break your heart again... because you wont let him... because you're merely 'enjoying the moment' and that you know for sure... that someday in the future you might know without advice from others... whether he is really right for you... and you'll be strong enough to let go without pain and without always wondering about him... or missing him... and all the hurt will erase itself from your heart... know that it could be because he is genuinely accepting his mistake and means it for life... or ... it could be because you realise this man seriously aint for you at all... and someone else is;-)
When we stop hurting over rejection... we actually see the person in a vastly different light and often wonder why we fell in love with them at all... you have not stopped hurting yet... so can't. You may need an booster innoculation to recover!
So walk through the fire and come out without a scorch this time and have no regrets in your dotage... because you need to find yourself... and if you're asking us... you haven't... and whatever we may say right now... you know full well that you'll follow your heart anyway... just don't wear it on your sleeve this time... and make him realise that you are not the naive soul you were before!
Good luck!
2007-08-05 04:13:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't go back with him. for the fact that trust is a big issue and soon he would get sick and tired of all your worryness and not trusting him that he would break your heart again. you would not want to go through life wondering what he's doing where's he at and if he's doing something wrong. you love him yes, so love him to know that you won't be able to trust him. unless you can get over the fact that he got over you once in his lifetime.
2007-08-05 03:57:35 · answer #7 · answered by lisa B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After he has already married someone else it seems you have got through the worst of it and come to terms with it, get someone new then he will really regret it, n maybe he will do it again, i mean he married another women and now is divorced after making all of those vows he sounds like he doesnt deserve u and hes waiting for you to come crawling back
2007-08-05 08:26:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you break up,did he cheat on you?.It seems to me he may have feelings for you,but has just come out of a relationship and might just be looking for comfort,your questioning if he is going to break your heart again so do you trust him,you don't want this to happen again so take all this into consideration before you make a decision.
2007-08-05 03:57:09 · answer #9 · answered by Classy Clarissa 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Possibilty is high...when it comes to love, it's definately a gamble. The both of you could have been meant to be together all along and you two found your ways back into one another's arms. Then there is another thing....ONCE A CHEAT ALWAYS A CHEAT. This my dear is for you to decide. There is nothing wrong with dating again, take it slow and easy and don't rush into bed with him just yet...it may be too late.
2007-08-05 03:58:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NEVER go back tae an ex. Been there, done that, nae change. If ye huv tons o' patience and loads of forgiveness, ye might give him a wee small try. Remember tae bail oot the second ye see the old untrusting guy appear!!!!
2007-08-05 06:00:10 · answer #11 · answered by Angela M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋