how long would you stay in an abusive marriage before you couldn't take it anymore?

Answer 1

I wouldn't marry someone that I knew would be abusive (they usually are before the wedding even comes)

Answer 2

to start with there r several different types of abuse. i was in an abusive marriage for eight years. every relationship is different. mine started out nice and graduated into verbal abuse, then slowly it was mental abuse. i was slowly being torn down, mentally and my self esteem being little to nothing. i found myself putting up with just about everything. yelling screaming, hitting, cheating, anything he thru my way i took. people called me stupid. but i always thought things would change or i could make it better. when i put him in jail and he stayed there for a whole year. i met the man of my life and i divorced him. i now know what true love is about and how a person is supposed to be treated. as for how long u should put up with it? it is different for everyone and you will know when it is right. you will know when you can leave and be safe. go to a friend that you know will be there always cause it will be hard at first to leave but after you do i promise you will feel like a new person. it might be slow go at first but eventually u will learn just how special you are and then someone will come along and show u how special u r to them. and if you need a new friend i am always here. [e-mail] (Tera)

Answer 3

Nobody has the right to lay their hands on you. There is nothing on the marriage license that says that because you are marrying this person that you have to endure a lifetime of being abused by them. A marriage is supposed to be a commitment for two people who love each other and make each other happy.
The first time he would even think of laying his hands on me I would be out of there. My grandmother, my mother, my sister, and a few of my friends endured an abusive boyfriend/husband and it breaks my heart to see or hear of a woman being put through that anguish. You need to get out now before things really get bad. The longer you let him beat on you, the worse the beatings will become.
My mom's ex used to tell her that no other man would ever want her so even though he beat on her, she wouldn't leave him because he had that drilled into her head. It's not true. Not all men treat women like that. The ones who do are scum. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 4

hon ive been there too and its easy to tell someone to leave but its actually harder to do then anyone will admit in the shelter i was in they told me a woman usually leaves 6 times before they stay away permanantly

some advice : hide money get papers for the accounts and childrens ids yours too any stockpile anything you may need plan secretly to go find a shelter or safe place that he doesnt know about someone you know but he does not .buy bus or train tickets hide them well

when you are safe contact the authorities if he comes back he will cry whyne he will make himself look as pitiful as possible so you will take him back he w/ill promise the moon and stars he will say ill never do it again he will beg

the most important thing to remember is to NEVER OPEN THE DOOR NO MATTER WHAT HE SAYS OR DOES IT COULD PUT YOUR LIFE IN DANGER EVEN IF HE IS CRYING AND DROOLING ON THE GROUND

10 TO 1 he beat himself up so you would feel sorry for him NEVER LET YOUR EMOTIONS GET THE BEST OF YOU


be careful hon and MAKE AN ESCAPE PLAN OK ?

Answer 5

Not one day! http://au.geocities.com/tigrispoet/12signs.htm

Please go to this site and get some really great information. There is just too much in your question to really give you a proper answer. If you have children and have been living with an abuser than you have put your children at risk for becoming an abuser or being a victim of abuse later in life. No one deserves to be abused. No one! At anytime. Please seek help and start by clicking on the link I have provided you.

Answer 6

If alcohol is involved and you drink aswell you are 100 percent responsible just as the other is

State if alcohol is involved for it is a dangerous drug and most Assaults are fuled by alcohol..


Is booze involved? If so theres your problem, I am a man and i have been verbally and physically assaulted numerous times resulting in broken nose ect due to a violent drunking girlfriend. is that excusable?

Get of the drugs.

Has your family witnessed domestic violence before?

Are you "adult child of an alcoholic"? if so somtimes ACOA people actually cause the disruption by attacking first and not remembering but only remembering the defense or counter attack from the other person.

If you dont drink and he's a jerk and never witness this before, try to help him as a friend and if that doesnt work, try to save yourself.

Answer 7

It really depends upon your tolerance level!

Some men and women stay in a bad marriage for fear of being alone? So they put up with abuse (vocal as well as physical).

Others see the danger signs right away and make plans to ESCAPE with their children...along with the few possessions that matter.

Personally...I'd rather find a different place to live instead of beginning and ending every single day with an abuser. By doing this, I'd be able to keep my sanity...or what's left of it?

Answer 8

well, i dont believe we should stay in there at all. but, i have been in a marriage for the last eighteen years and it has been on and off abuse. i thought i could save him or change him. and, i use to be scared of him. not anymore he started with me fighting and throwing stuff and i stood up and starting acting just as nuts as him and he now is afraid to start for i might start acting like a raving loon. all i can tell you is you dont deserve to be treated like crap. you are someone and you are a person who deserves respect. and if he is abusive to you whos to say he wont be that way with your children in the long run. you better handle this before something goes wrong bad that you cannot fix. dee

Answer 9

I was raised in a non abusive home, however, I found myself in several abusive relationships. The only things I can tell you is to get out QUICKLY!!! It will never change or get any better! You are just wasting your life and being miserable! NO ONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED IN ANY AWAY SHAPE OR FORM! You have to believe in your self enough to leave! Before one day you wake up and your very old and discover you waisted your whole life! It's not easy to do but you have to do it. You owe it to yourself!!

Answer 10

i stayed in it 14 years. its just you don't see it that way at first. i know this first hand. plus you are beaten down so much you think its your fault at first then you grow abit and find out one day its not you its him. then when you finally wake up the only way to make it is hate him and take the kids and get a life. well i started that but guess what the parents were involved and they felt they didn't know all the stuff and helped him with me and i went back for two more kids and then divorce. it was horrible but life. i mean you say it can be easy toleave but its not you have ot have a good mind set then you can and when you are ready then you can leave.

Answer 11

why stay in an abusive marriage ?
get out and start a new life before its too late !