My wife sometimes does not pay attention to what I say?

Question

It is really irritate me when I say a joke or share a news or something, and I just have to repeat it twice or three times, and sometimes she just like ah, and takes a look on an item in the mall or so. I have talked with her about that several times, and we ended up in blaming game. or sometimes, she gets emotional or upset for any simple discussion even on a world topic like global warming or some of that stuff, I can't imagine we get into bad mood for these things. and it is not related to love thing, she loves so much and I m sure of that, but I also shows love, teasing her and you can say attaching, should I stay away or shows ignoring to her so she can pay more attention?. . What do you think, do you have a suggestion or solution or similar experience?

Answer 1

you should make sure you have her full attention first before you talk, or you might find a topic that interested her.

Answer 2

So what? Talk to her, but accept that you can't be the centre of her world at every waking moment. That's just idiotic.

Today my fiance said things to me and I answered without paying attention. It happens. He asks me questions and I don't even realize it or what I said in response until minutes later when I realize something was going on. He has adhd, so it happens even more with him. That's just a natural part of being human.

Why do you expect your wife's world to revolve around you? Maybe she was busy thinking or doing something else. You're not a child. She shouldn't have to drop everything just to hear some lame joke everytime you make one.

As for fighting over politics and other world issues, yep. It happens, so what? You have differing opinions. If it upsets you too so much, leave the global warming rants to your friends and don't bring it up with her. My fiance and I have agreed not to talk about religion or politics with eachother. Our opinions are so different and we've discussed it enough, that it's not worth an argument.

Answer 3

Same problem most women have with their men...my my how the table turns.
Maybe she has AADD, adult attention deficit disorder?
None the less, if you have something really important to say, try do so when there isn't anything that will draw her attention away from you. Turn off the t.v., the computer, don't try having conversations at the mall or at a restaurant.

Answer 4

Are you sure she is not paying attention, or could it be that she just doesn't think your joke is funny.

It is possible that your sense of humour is different from hers. My husband has a very different sense of humour then mine and that happens a lot.

He tells me a joke and I think he is serious and react as if it is serious and he says, that was a joke, and I say oh, well I didn't think it was funny.

Then when he says something that I do think is funny and I laugh, he asks why I laughed and I say, that joke was actually funny. He turns to me and says your just appeasing me aren't you? Then I say, no, that joke was actually funny.

The reason being, is our sense of humours are different but we are very happily married and learned that you don't need to laugh at the same jokes to be happy.

Don't take it so personally, she just may be taking things differently then your meaning them, that is not uncommon, we all think differently in life.

Also as Johns Brat above states, I do the same thing, when I'm doing something and my husband speaks to me he thinks I'm not paying attention to him and gets upset, when I repeat it back to him verbatim he realizes I did listen and I heard, I just didn't respond. Woman are very good a multi-tasking it's part of our genetic makeup.

Answer 5

I AM the wife, and my Husband sometimes thinks that I am NOT paying attention to him. Although, different from your situation, I can be reading mail, and he can be talking to me, and he thinks that I am ignoring him..., Until- I repeat everything that he just told me. Yes! I am the Blame. I do listen to him, although at times I do NOT acknowledge that he has spoken to me. And when I repeat what he has said to me, he sulks about it, it is very cute. Although it hurts his feelings.

When we get married, after a while, it is like we get caught up into everything around us, and sometimes we just need to get away from the mail, t.v., the house, and just talk to each other. It may also work for you. Good luck :)

Answer 6

for such times find a slot when both of u r free & having a cup of tea in the porch, & then share such things. maybe she ha a busy job. is she by any chance a taurean. well they are afraid to show emotions & feel very insecure. so they require lots of love.

it invariably happens in a marraige that after some time both take each other for granted. avoid this & advise her on ur problems openly without the blamegame. tell her i know u r busy, but i think both of us have to find time for each other.

Answer 7

You are lucky to have such a wife. She needs your attention on items of interest to her and you are talking about your interest.
Be manly (don't be selfish) and avoid irritation on her indifference for topics of your interest. It is undesirable in married love to impose own liking on the spouse.

Answer 8

Dose she get to tell you about her day? I mean do you listen when she talks? I find sometimes when people talk about the same thing over and over again you start to tune out what they are saying....Dose she work outside of home? It sounds like you do and you probably do have a lot to talk about maybe she is a little resentful you have outside things but she is home with the same old same old.

Answer 9

maybe what your saying doesn't strike interest in her like it does in you...try making sure she's not already deep in thought when you are just playing around and wanting some attention from her

Answer 10

it sounds like your wife has a lot on her mind..is she under a lot of stress...I've been married for 27 yrs and my husband says the same things...when I have a lot on my mind and I'm always under stress...only talk with her when she is ready to give you her undivided attention this way you won't get upset and she will listen to what you have to say...