How can I get his mom to like me, to accept me?

Question

My fiance and I have been together for almost 1 1/2 years, and I can not figure out how to get his mother to accept me for who I am, and it seems she loves to point out the things she sees as faults to my fiance, who then points them out to me. I think I am a wonderful person with a lot to share with others. Recently, I admitted to him that I feel intimidated by his mother, because of her sensless nit picking at me or about me. I have been married before, I got along very well with my ex's mother ( she became my best friend over time!) I would love to have that kind of relationship with my fiancees mother, any tips on how to accomplish this???

Answer 1

Hi Brandy, Just wanted to say that it takes two to create the type of relationship you want so sadly enough if she isn't willing you will not be able to attain it. I would suggest you continue to be your awesome self and never mind her problems with you. He needs to understand that when you do marry he will need to emotionally leave his mom ie 'cut the apron strings' . Also she needs to see the confidence you have in yourself, that you will not be bothered. That may be what she needs, just to see that her son has a strong young lady behind him. Hope this helps, later

Answer 2

I know you just want your "Mother-In-Law-to-be" to just GET OVER herself and love you already! Huh? I, too, have been where you are...so rest assured I KNOW how frustrating AND intimidating this whole thing is! POOR THING! Well, like it as it may, we ALL KNOW we can't MAKE someone like us! And chances are, if we are focused on making someone like us, then we are trying WAY too hard...and that isn't just who we are at all! RELAX. LEAN BACK a little, observe more by talking less. REALLY LISTEN instead of trying to BE HEARD! (I KNOW you KNOW what I mean, here...) Then what happens, after a time of this, is...you EARN their trust because YOU took the TIME to listen to them FIRST...now they give you YOUR TURN...and you better have something to say when they do! Oh, and don't focus on it so much...downplay it and don't stress about your encounters with her...look at them instead as great practice to try your new skill and approach. SHE'LL LOVE YOU! HOW CAN SHE Not?!!

Answer 3

i am sure the fact you have been married before is why shes so mean. som e people can't get over that problem. its sad and does happen. maybe when you have your first child things will change but mine didn't with inlaw and therefore if i had smarts then i would have moved on sometimes its not worth the try and it can be better after waiting that long to marry i wouldn't do it that slong but its your life.

Answer 4

Many mothers are very protective of their children, and they want nothing but the best for them. You have just got to show her that you can be the best wife to your fiance.

Answer 5

I am totally with that to except its my boyfriends mom everytime she see's me she glares at me. I try to get her to like me but she just for some reason doesn't like to take and excludes me from stuff! I would try setting a day for a time for you two to talk your fiance's mom and yourself and tell each other how you feel don't throw daggers behind backs or don't talk behind backs it would just cause hate and leaving people out.

Answer 6

Sometimes it just doesn't work lol. I have one of those...we've been married for 3 years and nothing's changed since the day I met her. You don't need to try too hard and jump through hoops to get her to like you. If she doesn't, don't fret...go about your daily life and one day she'll come around. If he loves you, she should too.

Answer 7

Repeat your feelings for your ex with your now and everything will set right.

Answer 8

who cares if she don't except you,your marrying her son,not her,if she don't except you for who you are,then that is her choice,don't try changing anything about your self to please her,you deserve better then that,