Am I a lazy wife?

Question

I do all the houseold chores (cook, clean, laundry, etc.) and work outside the home (part time) and go to school (on-line), but my husband says things and does stuff like he thinks I just sit on my rear all day watching TV. He has yelled at me more than once because he couldn't find clean underwear--I hadn't folded yet, or the pair he wanted was only recently put in the laundry, or he'd made such a wreck of his dresser drawers that he didn't immediately see the clean pairs. I offer to cook breakfast for him almost every day (even though I rarely eat breakfast myself) and he comes back with "That'd be nice" all nasty like I've never offered before. We have a 10 year old son and I feel like I'm raising this kid on my own because my husband won't be more than a fair-weather parent. Now I'm being criticized by my husband because the boy is rebelling against my authority. I am so frustrated with all this that I feel like packing up my son and leaving for good. Am I really a lazy wife?

Answer 1

OK. Do you love this guy? Because if you do, then maybe it would be worth it to get some couple's councilling. Otherwise, I'd kick him to the curb. You are being abused. I know because I've been there. Here's the part you don't want to hear. You are enabeling him to be an asshole. You need some help. Get some assertiveness training. You don't want to approach this like a whiner or a *****, so be sure to take a course in communication skills...something like Non Violent Communication. You have to find a way to save yourself, either in this marriage or out of it. And your relationship with your son would also improve if you get some help. My heart goes out to you because this isn't easy. It's hard work, but you will come out of it a healthier person and be able to have healthy relationships. Good luck.

Answer 2

hey dont be so hard on yourself . ur not a lazy wife .and remember your a wife not a slave . he has hands and legs dont he , cant he help with t chores , maybe you should leave everything for a couple of days so then he can see what would happen if you really didnt do anything . or even better go on a little break somewhere you and your son and then see how he manages . the problem with a lot of women is after being in the same relation ship for so long , we kinda forget who we are we,re like workers , we see the same routine day in and day out .and we forget ourselves . good luck with this and do something before it ,s to late .

Answer 3

I 'm sorry dear you're not lazy,you're an excellent lady but this guy doesn't appreciate you enough.
I think you should first have a word with him to explain your feelings and what you do and go through to see how it goes or what he'd say .
If it didn't work out leave him take your son and stay with your mom or a relative for a while.
If he was a good man he will notice and understand your frustration,other wise dump him and live by yourself .
Why go through all the hustle .You don't need problems,who knows you may be happier without him.

Answer 4

I don't think that you are a lazy rather than your husband demand too much from you. He should assist you instead of criticizing you but I see one thing here. His love towards you is slowly disappearing and he is looking at something to accuse you off in order to find a way out of this relationship. Cooking breakfast is your responsibility which you do as a sample of love towards your husband which he don't see it that way. Perhaps there might be something else you might be doing which he don't like you doing it and you are not aware of it that he don't tell you. With your son behaving that way towards you is normal. Understand that he is approaching adolescence stage when he state having mixed, conflicting feeling in his mind. It normal for him to act this way towards you not because he disrespect you but his stage of life. Have a talk with your husband and ask him tough question in a polite respect full manner and let him explain why he is doing you treating you like that. My self I never looked at my ex-wife to be, to do anything for me at trying for four years to make things work out. She cooked once or twice in a forth night and never swept only complaining that if she swept she would start hurting,
Stay strong and talk to your husband a honest, genuine talk and find a solution to your problem. Peace be with you

Answer 5

Damn girl, you are doing fine! This boy doesn't know what he has. If underwear is an issue you can come and stay with me. Cook, clean, wash, you need not to say anymore. He should respect you and applaud you for all you do at the house. Tell him honey, I run the show because I am a Home Engineer, and if you don't like it find yourself a new boss. He will melt like butter....Good luck and stay strong

Answer 6

Nope not lazy. Abused. Your husband needs help. And your son does too. He has watched his father treat you like this for so long, that he's beginning to think he can treat you that way too. I would leave if I were you. Pack up your son and go. You can still fix the damage that has been caused to your son.

Answer 7

No, you are not a lazy wife. Maybe the old man needs to be single for awhile to appreciate what gets done when he's not around.There's more to being a husband and father than just the occasional sperm donor.

Answer 8

You are definitely not lazy. Men tends to take wife for granted. They thought that it is wife's duty to do all household chores and look after the kid. U have to decide yourself, stay or leave. If u decide to stay, it is better to have a serious talk with him, tells him how u feel and what you want.

Answer 9

Sounds like a good wife to me. Sounds like a lousy husband to me.

Normally i would tell you to try and work it out at almost all costs... but for once, i'd say leave him, divorce him, and take him for just about everything you can... Maybe then he'll realize how good he actually had it.

And then go find yourself a good man, there are plenty out there dying to find a woman just like you.

Answer 10

No you are not lazy. I think you should take your son and go on holiday for a week and maybe then your lazy husband can see just how much you do for him and he might learn to appreciate you more.