Why do gay people stand out?

Question

Even the most conservative gays stand out, people can tell the difference....why?

Answer 1

I'm not sure I agree that gay people stand out in the way you stated it. Many gay people seem to be as typical as non-gay people. However, there are those who for whatever reason are so obvious and make the others look bad to some people.

As an example, there are real men (gay men) who have served in our armed forces. They don't appear to be "gay" in the sense of the word. They fight for the United States and are skilled and hell-bent on protecting our country. Do they "stand out"? You bet they do, but not as gay people, but true Americans.

Then you have the other side of the coin. Those who lisp and flaunt their sexuality and want to be noticed for that. I personally don't agree with this particular stance, but it is not my business. I don't like it, but there would be those who don't like what I do either. I'm sure gay people don't want straight people kissing in public, just like straight people don't want to see gay people kissing in public. But, what really is the difference?

I don't think gay people want "special" rights; they just want civil rights. I don't think they want special privileges; just those that are afforded to all Americans. No matter my personal beliefs in their actions in their homes, I happen to agree with this. I say this because I don't want anyone coming into my bedroom and judging me either, although what one might see would probably be boring to watch.

I think it is a fraction of gay people that "stand out". That is not to say that many gay people are known by their employers and friends, but those who make it a point to say, "I'm gay and you should accept it". I wouldn't say, "I'm straight and you should accept it", but for the most part straight people don't have to say that.

I know gay people (not necessarily at the time) and when having met them, I was never cornered for sex nor did the subject come up until somehow I knew that they were gay. Doesn't bother me because I am comfortable with myself and they seem to be comfortable also. After 15 years of my adult life I found my sister to be gay. What am I supposed to do? Not talk to her again? Heck no, she is my family and I love her. I was a bit surprised to find that her friend had been her lover for 21 years. Now that's incredible, given the divorce rate of straight people.

I then looked at it this way. Give gay people the same rights as straight people. That way you would give them the right to divorce. Then they would have the same challenges as straight people.

Answer 2

First off, you probably can't tell the difference with the most closeted gay people. You think you can tell with everyone because you *are* able to tell with everyone you know is gay, and everyone who you are wrong about (e.g. you can't tell!) you think is straight. Since you never find out when you're wrong, you don't realize it.

Secondly, one reason that gay people stand out is because their social interactions are necessarily different. A large percentage of social interactions are based on attempts to attract a sexual partner or compete for one. A gay male will act differently towards women and straight males than a straight male would, because he will not have the added pressures off attempting to attract a mate. In the same way, a gay female will act differently towards men. As if this weren't enough, the fact that gay men and women don't openly discuss their straight relationships or desires in and of itself makes them stand out, as the majority of extended conversations eventually come around to home life or romantic life. (Just think about it... don't you usually ask people, "so, are you married?" or "So, are you seeing anyone?" within the first half hour of a conversation?) Either they have to lie/change the subject in order to stay in the closet, or they come out. Either way, it changes the tenor of the conversation.

Being closeted about anything is not easy.

Answer 3

Hey LuLu, gay people do not stand out. Stand out people stand out. You can tell someone is gay because he so happens to stand out. But not a single second you are aware that those butch or very straight looking guys in the subway are gay.

Answer 4

That is not an accurate statement. I am gay and you would never pick me out of a crowd. You would probably think that I was the definition of masculinity. Nobody knows about me except the ones that I tell. I had one friend that got in a fight with another guy who said he thought I was. You would be surprised at who some of the celebrities are that are gay. Take a look at Rock Hudson. Nobody knew until after his death.

Answer 5

Just think 90% of usdon't stand out at all. You could NEVER tell. How scary a thought is that?

Answer 6

I'm sure you meet people who were gay and didn't even know,because they don't fit your image that you hold in you head.The thing is they don't stand out they only stand out to people who go looking for them.

Answer 7

Is it because they stand out genuinely, or are people just more inclined to notice anyone who's not 'normal'?

Answer 8

The sixth sense.

And gay people are so GOOD at what they do. Even when they're bad.

Answer 9

im not been mean to homosexuals here right but i think they stand out because erm... they have that movement and how they talk is squicky sometimes and u cant tell when some1 gay because of the shape of the face the hight og them i gues and they like hanging round with girls alot thats why i think homosexual stand out ^_^

Answer 10

they have personalities that stand out in a crowd. ♥