Do u like this song i wrote...???

Question

i just thought i TRY to write a song and its not that good so no really mean comments but so ideas to make it better or write better songs overall here it is and i dont have title for this one
Here's the song


I wanna be with you.
Oh oh ohhhhhhh
I gotta tell you
I LOVE YOU
But i dont know
oh oh ohh
I got to tell you or im gonna BLOW!!!
and we DONT want that to happen!! oh wo no

SOo I got to tell you Now
yea yea yea
That i've like you
for a long while now
Oh yea


thanks for the help if u do or if u like it i konw im not good im new at writing stuff and not that good and its true i got to tell someone i like them now or im going to blow lol but i get messed up every time lol so i dont know

i wrote it not too long ago and i dont know this is like the second song i wrote my other one is and its stupid
title is
Why Can't I???

Why can't i tell him
That i like him
Why can't I...
I Dont know

I might just be too scared
that it might ruin something
I DONT KNOW
Oh no no no
Maybe I'll just have too
And I'll get rid of this problem
I would also feel better
OHhhh Yea

the end

i know stupid but that was my first one so whatever bye

i wrote it not too long ago and i dont know this is like the second song i wrote my other one is and its stupid
title is
Why Can't I???

Why can't i tell him
That i like him
Why can't I...
I Dont know

I might just be too scared
that it might ruin something
I DONT KNOW
Oh no no no
Maybe I'll just have too
And I'll get rid of this problem
I would also feel better
OHhhh Yea

the end

i know stupid but that was my first one so whatever bye

Answer 1

all i can say is LOL

Answer 2

If I heard what it gave the impression of then possibly i'd desire to respond to this extra appropriate, notwithstanding curiously surprisingly good, and that i think of i'd pay attention to it on events... it style of feels a sprint short and would in basic terms be like a a million:30 and maximum songs are approximately 2:00-4:00 minutes long... notwithstanding it looks like it would be a competent track... desire I helped...

Answer 3

Its not as bad as most of the crap on the radio now. I think I would have to hear it with music to be able to judge it better though. Im probaly the wrong person to ask for help since Im not a great writer myself. I would ask people I know what they think, maybe friends or anybody who you think might understand music. In any case, good luck!

Answer 4

I think that you're off to a good start-you've got really great ideas! But, you are just repeating yourself a lot. Not just with the "oh's", but with the vowel "o". It's obvious that you're great at rhyming words that end in "o", but now it's time to broaden your horizon & maybe play with the letter "e" or "i"...it just sounds like the same thing throughout the song.

Answer 5

It's not really material for a song but for a poem..and they have too much of oh oh oh, no no no, yeah yeah yeah....It would be different with the music too though..I hope thsi helps..

Answer 6

If you get Diddy to do the remix and add a few "take that" and "badboy" you got a platinum hit.

Answer 7

i think any song that tells a good story with a good beat will be fine. do you play any instruments?

Answer 8

waw u got some very untaming thoughts in that song, whooooooooooooooooooooooo

Answer 9

it's fine... they say constant practice makes perfect... just keep on writing songs... nobody's got the right to say it'd good or bad... it also relieves tension...

Answer 10

now all you need to do is put them to music ,then you might have a winner there.

Answer 11

hell yea, stick with it, now you just need to add music, let me know if you need help with that part.....write another soon