How do I find closure in a relationship that ended with no closure? Or, will I ever find closure?

Question

I was so in love. Everyone thought me and this man were steps away from marriage. I thought so as well. We talked about being together forever. Really Most people actually thought we were married.

A few months ago he left me and cut off all ties of communication. He never even told me it was over. He just left. We lived together and he left everything he owns except a few clothes. I was in agony for a while trying to figure out what was happening.
Now it is about 6 months later and I have started to move on with my life. I actually have began to think of him as "scum" and think about the things I hated in our relationship.

I just can't kick these feelings of, "Is he thinking of me?" "Did he love me?" "Does he think he made a mistake?" "Will I ever know what happened?"

I have so much anger about this situation and think I am really traumatized. With so many unanswered questions will I ever get over this and actually trust again. (I had trust issues to begin with.)

Answer 1

I think first you need to realize what a nasty, shoddy thing this guy did to you. He left you "in the middle of the night" without having the balls or the decency to formally end the relationship. He just up and went. You should have been furious over it and not thinking "is he thinking of me?" You know the answer. If he had THOUGHT of you, he wouldn't have put you in that predicament, now would he???

The only thing you can do now is learn from this experience and move on. You will trust again, although it'll take time. Just remember how he deserted and neglected you. You're better than that. You should hate him, not miss him.

Answer 2

Alskarinna makes some very valid points. You deserve better, no one should be subjected to the treatment you received... unfortunately though, we sometimes are. You have to accept the fact however that you may never get closure. If he wasn't adult enough to tell you that it wasn't working out, he won't be adult enough to have a conversation with you in which you'd get closure. I know the missing pieces are hard to overlook some times... but do your best to pick up the pieces and remember, you deserve better and you will find it.

Answer 3

i bypass to grant you some "difficult love". you would be a guy approximately this. sure, she broke your heart. sure, she gladly extensive-unfold funds from you for issues and ran. No, she did no longer say thank you. that's what happens in ruin-ups. If i presumed you writing your emotions in an email would help or carry you closure, i'd advise you to attain this...besides the fact that it is not going to help or exchange a element. maximum in all risk your email will the two be deleted with no need been study, or it incredibly is going to likely be broadcast someplace for each guy or woman to study. If the lady is dragging your call in the process the dirt, do you rather need all those very own emotions published on a facebook internet site or emailed around to her pals. you could rather write all of it down as a healing exercising, yet i actually does no longer deliver it if I have been you. What you're able to do this is shrink your losses and circulate on. It replaced into 5 years, and curiously such as you place greater into the relationship than she did, yet you could recover from it...and basically time will do this for you. Use this as a gaining awareness of journey. do no longer lend yet another GF funds. don't be so trusting of the subsequent woman. And information flash: if a woman is relationship you for 5 years and hardly everybody is conscious you're jointly...it incredibly is a pink FLAG top there! i think of you're in basic terms naive whilst it is composed of relationships, and he or she took finished earnings of that. Be the bigger guy or woman. do no longer say nasty issues approximately her or do to her what she's doing to you. Bow out gracefully and circulate on jointly with your existence. Take something actual you have that reminds you of her - pictures, CDs, souvenirs - and placed them away out of sight. do no longer harm them, yet placed them the place they do no longer look to be consistent reminders of her. finally, don't come back accessible on the relationship scene until you're waiting to. do no longer permit others rigidity you into "getting back accessible" in the previous you're waiting. and don't make any destiny woman you meet pay for the blunders of this ex-gf of yours. carry in there, make stronger up, use this as a gaining awareness of journey, and circulate on jointly with your existence.

Answer 4

there is closure to this. he did you so bad and ended it so cowardly that you shoudl never and you should learn thta long time relationships sometimes aren't good like you would think. now its time for yu and yourself to find the right man and get moving time will fad this and you can move on knowing he was a scum and you are fine.