I am having a difficult time coping with a break up that happened over a year ago. This guy really hurt me when we he ended our relationship. He was cold, mean, and hurtful to me, and I had not done anything to him. We were together for 2 yrs, but developed feelings for some girl who he had a child with before we met...she was a one night stand. I helped him through so much and he ended up leaving me to be with her. But what was worst was he turned on me and acted like I never meant much to him. I helped him with his depression and his suicide threats. And in the end he treated me like I was nothing. Its been a while and I tried to forgive him and remain friends, he now tells me he was confused and he wishes he never went back to that situation, and all he did was uncalled for. He never asked me to get back with him, but as much as I want to be his friend, I can't. I still can't let go of what he did. He really can't talk to me much, and I dont know if he is ashamed.
2007-08-04 14:02:03 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I still get very angry and cry alot about it. He really made me feel like I was his whole world and then knocked me down. Noone has ever done something like this to me. I dont know how to handle it. I went to see a couple pychologists, I feel he really messed with my head with his suicide threats. I really thought he would hurt himself. Now he lives his life, like he never did this to me. Please can someone give me advise on how to move forward from this. Thank you.
2007-08-04 14:05:50 · update #1
Sometimes only time will heal our wounds. I'm sorry that you were abused by your ex. He's a selfish jerk who only thinks about his wants and happiness and not others. Don't think twice about not going back to him. If he can do this to you once, he can do it again, believe me. There are good people in this world and one day you will find a good man to spend your life with. Don't let this bad experience ruin the rest of your life. Life will get better! Good luck and God Bless!
2007-08-04 14:09:24 · answer #1 · answered by Be me 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well it sounds like he really crushed you.......alot of times a guy will think he needs to be with the person who mothered their baby and have to leave their current relationship. Most guys will say some pretty horrid things to their girlfriend to get them to let him go. Some actually regret it later but most guys wont. Most guys will come crawling back to you to take them back if their current relationship isn't working and they will say they are sorry and they didn't mean what they said to you last time.....but it is just a game and he will do it again.
Some people heal faster than others . You need some counseling to help you get through this. You also need to get out and have some fun and get your mind off him. It does sound like you love him very much...but it is obvious that he does not feel the same and you need to let go and move on.
2007-08-04 21:20:06 · answer #2 · answered by thinkbig 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to wipe him out of your life just as he has done with you. Throw out anything you have that remind you of him, lose his number, don't answer his call. Time will heal all wounds. You can't keep thinking about this, it will drive you crazy. You have already lost a year of your life crying over him. He sucks, he is a loser, he does not care about anyone but himself. He is so very selfish to treat you like that and still try to talk to you as if nothing happened. Do you really want to waste your time over someone like that? Kick him out of your life, that's the only way to move on. Good Luck!
2007-08-04 21:16:22 · answer #3 · answered by SassyLeo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Darling, my heart breaks for you. Being told to just get over it is no help whatsoever. I too went through a difficult breakup that tore me apart for several years, so I can relate. Here is what I learned. GO FOR COUNSELLING!!! Be it clergy, psychologist, trusted adult in your acquaintance (teacher for example) A few sessions can do wonders for you, and prevent you from carrying a grudge or carrying destructive behaviours forward. Often, only a couple of meetings are needed. Check your local public health offices for resourses. And you need to get this destructive person out of your life. He is treating you like a yo-yo, first he wants you then he doesn't. He will never have the characteristics needed to be a true friend. Cut him loose so you can go forward. Remember, when a person shows you who they are , believe them.
2007-08-04 21:19:50 · answer #4 · answered by always b natural 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
everyone is gonna say this but move on. i know it's hard. my ex did something similar but i realized if he was worth anything, he wouldn't be doing what he was. he always said he was gonna be my friend until we die. we were really good friends way before we decided to date. then he broke up with me and told me he wanted to get back with me and then decided he wanted to date my best friend. i couldn't forgive him then and i can't now. i may in time but until then i don't believe a friendship is possible. the reason why you cry about it all the time is becase you got so used to life with him that you don't know what it's like without him. he wants you to feel like he's the victim so you feel bad about the breakup. but really if he was any friend to you, he wouldn't do something like that. you should try not talking to him for a week or two and see how life progresses. if you seem more happy in that time then maybe you shouldn't talk to him for while. i'm not saying that it's time to end the friendship just take a break and make sure he knows that so he knows your not abandoning him. just know that no one deserves to be treated like dirt and told that the time someone spent with them was a waste. thats a mistake on their behalf and they're trying to do what they need to do to move on. i know it's hard but it may be time to take a break. get away from him for awhile so you can think about things and clear your head. when you think you can handle being around him again, go ahead but you may just need time away. good luck and remember only time can mend a broken heart.
2007-08-04 22:02:34 · answer #5 · answered by gitch 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I once hear someone say that tormenting yourself over somebody else's behavior is like banging your head against a wall to hurt another person.
Cut loose of him completely.
You are a good and decent person, a caring woman, who deserves friends and lovers that respect you for who you are and that will treat you with dignity and kindness and unconditional acceptance.
Let him go.
Strike out for a totally new experience.
Take dancing lessons.
Go scuba diving.
Volunteer at the local homeless shelter.
Join a glee club.
Get on with your life.
You need him like you need breast cancer.
2007-08-04 21:12:36 · answer #6 · answered by VampireDog 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i haven't been in many relationships, so i dont have any real insight into things like this, but dont let your anger at him engulf you, dont start to hate men in general because of what one pitiful excuse for a human being did to you, eventually the pain will subside. it will get better, it may take a while but it will.
2007-08-04 21:22:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't live in the past, because you can't change it. Don't live for the future because no one can predict the future, only the present matter.
2007-08-04 21:42:31 · answer #8 · answered by gannoway 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
get on with it
divorced in 2005 and happiest guy in the world
glad to see the bum gone you will be happy one day as well.
2007-08-04 21:05:02 · answer #9 · answered by Michael M 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋