I dont understand what the problem is niether of us have ever been married we live as if we were married but yet nothing. Sometimes when he is talking to his buddies they will ask him what he is waiting for and he acts like A jerk, He will say things like marry her? like im gross to him or something. Or he will say Im not marring her I dont plan on it either. How can I explain to him that his words are just flat out hurtfull?
2007-08-04 13:48:45 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
find someone else if you want to be married... he's definatly happy with the way things are and either sees you as a way to pass time until his future wife appears or..... just practice.... i would tell him straight out that the words he uses can be hurtful...
2007-08-04 13:52:53 · answer #1 · answered by Sia 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Run, don't walk. Who would want to live with a jerk like that.I know 2 wrongs don't make a right but I would probably give him a bit of his own medicine. When your (or his) friends ask these questions, beat him to the punch & say the same things he has said. You might even say something like "I've done a few dumb things before but I have never knowingly helped anyone try to prove I'm stupid. Just give one answer tho & see how he likes it. Even if he tells you he's just joking, he isn't so he needs to see how it feels. I still think you should leave him, at least for awhile to see if he'll come to his senses but don't count on it. You're good enough to do housework, laundry etc. not to mention bed priveleges but not good enough to marry? Leave & make a great life for yourself. Good luck!
2007-08-04 14:03:48 · answer #2 · answered by mazell41 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you two are alone, tell him that it hurts you to have him say and act that way. He sounds like he has an immature side that comes out as a defense mechanism. He will quite probably never ask you to get married as he's settled in your current relationship. What he has now is comfortable to him and he feels no need to change the situation. When you tell him about his comments hurting you, watch to see if that really sinks in, or will he deflect the the problem and not really respond to the problem. He really has no need to marry you as he has what he needs now.
2007-08-04 14:04:24 · answer #3 · answered by redd headd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FUTURE
You say "Your words are just flat-out hurtful. When you talk to your buddies that way"!! Is that how he really feels, or is he blowing sunshine up his a-- ???
Also if that don't do the trick,,,,,why not buy him a ring and let him know how serious you are ?? If he's really not interested, then pack in those 9 years as experience, move on sweetie, and find ya another more serious individual who will be better to ya...... AND Good Luck !!!!
2007-08-04 13:54:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that in the eyes of the law, after being with the same person for longer then 7 years, you are considered married. Make him feel really stupid by it.
Well it only applys for some states.
Sometimes its 10 years.
But either way your close enough that if anything where to happen to you, they would go to him first because its considered marriage.
2007-08-04 13:53:20 · answer #5 · answered by Victoria 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should he marry you if he's getting the benefits of being married without having the responsibility of someone who's married. It sounds like he's not very respectful of you and maybe that should tell you something about whether or not you should want to be married to him. My opinion is you should move on and find someone who will treat you the way you want to be treated but be careful not to make the same mistake again.
2007-08-04 14:09:45 · answer #6 · answered by Michel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't know how old you are but nine years a long time and i feel that i would say we need to commit to each other or move on because you most likely want children . if you feel you are good together i would ask him if he is ever going to marry you . communication if the first part of a good relationship and you should be able to talk about anything
2007-08-04 13:56:19 · answer #7 · answered by attitude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is that He must have something you like, or
you wouldn't have stayed that long...unless you do enjoy
him "belittling" you like he does...
Ya don't reckon it's the ''good sex'' that keeps you still
there, just griping about his words, do you....
If you don't like the way he treats you, and IF YOU WANT
A RING THAT BAD, GO OUT AND FIND SOMEONE WHO
WILL GIVE YOU ONE, and perhaps they'll have more re-
spect for you...
You're stupid to stay where you are Not Wanted...Can't you
understand the Message of the Words...
TAKE YOUR CRAP AND LEAVE....IT'S THAT SIMPLE.
Start your life, in a better neighborhood, with nicer men
than that one for sure...
The decision can only be yours to make. None of us can
be there to "hold your hand, and lead you out'', for it's not
our lives that's the focus, so I hope you'll either'' put up or
shut up"....quit whining...TF
Do something about it....
2007-08-04 14:27:53 · answer #8 · answered by Too Funny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you seriously talk to him. Tell him how you feel and that you serious think you two can have a life together. Tell him if what he says with his friends is true or is he just saying that to look cool? Be straight forward and tell him you get hurt by what he says and that if he doesnt see a life together with the two of you then why keep on wasting any more years...
Good Luck
2007-08-04 13:54:19 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Evee♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How disrespectful! If my man ever talked to his friend like that about marrying me, that would be my first clue. It's not like he said he had commitment issues. Just commitment issues with you. Get out now before you waste any more of your time. Life is way to short to "settle". You know what they say. You can't make someone love you. If marriage is part of your vision for your future, then you need to venture out and make it happen with someone who wants it just as much as you. Good luck.
2007-08-04 15:02:52 · answer #10 · answered by lulu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He thinks why buy the cow when the milks free.Not that your a cow.There's not much left if he acts the way your saying? He not marrying material?? If your not happy know it will be worse if you marry & have Kids>>.He has no respect for you?
2007-08-04 14:26:16 · answer #11 · answered by 45 auto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋