How can I improve? Meeting new people is just so hard for me. I love meeting them, but I have no clue how to keep the conversation going. Any tips or anything? I just can't think of anything to say. I'm somewhat shy, but not enough to really pose a problem. I can meet new people and be fine with it, I just somehow always let the conversation die. And the other person always gets tired of starting new conversations with me. So... yeah. Help for the socially awkward?
2007-08-04 13:40:06 · 12 answers · asked by x 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Make it less about how you feel inside of your skin. I've been where you are, and I never felt comfortable with small talk in my 20s. My 30s--a wholly different story. I found it was easier to hold conversations when I was more interested in the person I was talking to, their "stuff", their answers to my questions, and found more things to respond back with than I ever did in my 20s. So sometimes it's just something you have to grow into. Most young folks are going to feel awkward in their skin because they're constantly changing, their views and beliefs are in a state of flux. Being young is awesome, but it's also a tedious practice in learning how to be comfortable with who you are, and esp. who you are with other people.
So baring the fact that you can't instantly age a few years, just take the emphasis off of YOU. Ask questions about THEM. If they say something remotely interesting about a hobby, their job, their family, the last shopping trip they took, their friggin' dog, ASK to know more. Let them talk; people love to hear themselves talk and mostly about their favorite subject: themselves. Its not being facetious to act interested in others because normally people walk around so detached from one another that it's almost a sigh of relief when someone simply asks them how they came up with the name for their pet cockatoo. And trust me, that story will probably make you remember an interesting story about how you got and/or named your pet, too--and there you have it--in instant conversation.
Also, read more about current events (I'm not talking the latest Paris Hilton news, either). Read interesting books (not just the mainstream ones, either). Watch informational programs you wouldn't normally watch. Learn a little bit of something about a lot of things--because that will go a long way to helping you feel less awkward when the conversation turns to those subjects you feel less confident talking about.
2007-08-04 14:03:00 · answer #1 · answered by dangerouspoet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Guitar girl,
One thing I noticed about most people who are good at small talks is that they are very knowledgeable on plenty of things. That way when the conversation shifted to another topic, they are just as adept and comfortable with new topic on hand. You should begin reading books, newspapers..anything that can increase your knowledge and knowhow. Believe me, when you know plenty, your shyness will automatically vanish. And here's another good part..A listener will always know when they are talking with someone who knows a lot. I've known of soft-spoken-shy-type person who are always besieged by friends because as much as he is quiet and will only talk when asked..When he talks, you go home wanting to come back and ask more..Again my friend, you'll be ok. This is not an over-night thing..This takes time..You believe these people who are so sociable had it all even from the start? No, a lot of them are just like you now, shy & introvert. But they learned and so will you.
2007-08-12 13:30:20 · answer #2 · answered by BERNARD C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am the same way but I learned how to deal with that problem. Just ask questions about what interest they like or activities. The other person will open up with you more and you will find you like the same things. To start a conversation be totally random like if you are in a class say this teacher is soo boring. Just act like you are talking to a person you are comfortable with like family. Just open up to them and be yourself. I hope this helps you. Good Luck =)
2007-08-11 08:54:56 · answer #3 · answered by XxnikkirosexX 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well tell them up front that your kinda shy meetin new ppl and joke about it a lil. The other person will understand this and being shy is no problem. If you ever get stuck in a convo, ask questions. Always gets a convo going.
Ask about them mostly, everyone loves to talk about themselves. Ask about their hobbies and interests. What foods they like. And if at any point you find a commonality, share it and talk about it. the flow of the convo will b much easier at that point.
2007-08-12 12:53:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Surely you have thoughts swimming around in your head? Try expressing one. When I taught myself to be more outgoing, I learned one key - stop thinking so much! If you're not comfortable with the generic type small talk, don't use it. Just say what you think or what you are thinking about. And don't forget to ask questions. I can not express that enough. Just ask questions and listen and people will think that you are the best conversationalist in the world.
2007-08-04 13:46:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i knoe this may sound wierd but i have the same problem... on the phone ( b4 i call sumone just to chat ) i write a list of things to talk about.... do you have pets? i like ur hair. how are you? what did you think of school. dont be afraid to share alittle about yourself too. ask how her family is doing. common stuff like that. or you can use like a word ( 4 example) the word purse.
p-pretty hot today huh?
u-that was the Ultimate movie
r-i Really thot it was fun
s- sarah has the cutest outfit on.
e-i've had Enough of this.
just use ur imagination hope this helps..
2007-08-12 13:10:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Barbara Walters wrote a GREAT book called "How to talk to Anyone About Anything" or something like that. I'm sure you library has it. I used to be like you and that book changed my life. I actually enjoy talking to strangers now. I have met so many interesting people and learned so much from people on planes, waiting for planes, at parties, everywhere.
2007-08-04 14:17:48 · answer #7 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Open ended questions, questions that have the person talk about themselves. These are good ways to keep the questions going
2007-08-04 13:56:24 · answer #8 · answered by Eric C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It happens to everyone......It's all part of growing up!
When you have a bit more experience under your belt you'll probably end up talking the leg off an iron pot.
2007-08-11 02:02:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that,s depend on the situation, you should be understand every thing about a girl and then make plan about the talk with her!!! girls mostly like to talk about her self every time..
2016-04-01 20:29:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋