When ever he gets mad at someone. He later calls me after getting in a agument with that person tells me what happened. He yells at me saying how mad he is. I don't know how it happens but then he starts to argue with me. He was never like this with me untill we got engaged a few months ago. He has been crabby and not really talkative lately. And hanging up the phone on me alot whenever he gets mad. I have already told him not to take it out on me and stop hanging up the phone on me. I really love this man is there anything I can do or say???
2007-08-04 12:27:20 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You need to make sure that he understands that this type of behavior won't be tolerated. Tell him that if he continues to do it, then you don't want to be engaged. That will mean you have to follow through on your ultimatum. If you don't stop this type of behavior now and set guidelines for what is okay and what is not, how much worse will it be when you are married?
Good luck, I hope he is capable of change. Don't sell yourself short and regret it in the future. Take a stand now while you have some leverage.
2007-08-04 12:39:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honestly, he needs to find another outlet to vent his anger, because what it sounds like to me is verbal abuse, which no one deserves. In a situation like this, feelings make it harder to give "tough love" because it hurts to let go. However, clear boundaries of what you will and will not tolerate and consequences of what will happen, ie you politely hang up the phone and ignore any calls until he is ready to discuss with you his feelings without you being a verbal punching bag is a start. Again, because you love him, carrying out the boundaries may be tough but worth it. Anger/Agression may only start with words and can turn into more. And that is something no loving relationship deserves. I would also suggest anger management and counseling for him, and possibly counseling for you as well, so that you both can live "happily ever after". If he isn't willing to change his behavior, strongly suggest loving him from a distance, and to not get married...because I think someone will get hurt, and a marriage will end before death you do part.
2007-08-04 19:42:46 · answer #2 · answered by lnh4u 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The purpose of an engagement is to take a really good long look at your relationship and see if you two are truly compatible and really want to spend the rest of your lives together. There is NO shame in calling off an engagement. Better to end an engagement than a marriage. So end it and run. Find another.
2007-08-04 20:52:16 · answer #3 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know you dont want to hear it but it sounds like he is a future abuser that is how it usually starts all the sudden when you take the relationship to the next level. Tell him he needs to go to counceling or anger management or your not going to stay with him. Be firm about it you want him to know it is not okay for him to walk all over you .
2007-08-04 19:41:05 · answer #4 · answered by freckleface 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can understand you perfectly, ohhhh i am very sorry he makes you feel like its your fault. dont carry that , be strong!!!
he should go see a counselor or psycologyst, sometimes people had deal with a lot of problems in their life ,meaning infancy, adolescency, etc. and they need help to get heal and they need to control they anger (there is some classes for that behavior) one thing i can asure you, is that if he calls you is because he feel you are important for him and he can trust you, now you need to be strong and ignore some comments and only offer him support, without him thinking that you are judging him or you are against him, honey if he doesnt get help please dont marry him , or you will regret it in the future,,, good luck, and remember LOVE doesn hurt
2007-08-04 19:42:49 · answer #5 · answered by Breniris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does this really sound like someone you want to spend your life with and have as the Father of your children? They say that "love is blind", but in this case it must be deaf, dumb, and stupid, if you continue this relationship without seeking professional help.
2007-08-04 19:44:31 · answer #6 · answered by jcf6865 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, hand him back the ring and tell him the wedding is off.... believe me, it won't get any better AFTER the wedding... no matter what he promises NOW..... take the lesson you've just learned and let him find someone else to yell at.... and hang up on.....
2007-08-04 19:38:03 · answer #7 · answered by meanolmaw 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell (don't ask) him to go to anger management. If he doesn't go.......................
He's an a$$hole, Dump him
2007-08-04 19:34:16 · answer #8 · answered by DIE IN A FIRE 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋