In my experience: The more that straight people actually know a gay person..the more accepting they are likely

Question

to be of glbts...Do you think that we, as gay people, should be more out to people around us just for this effect? I mean if Dorothy at work really likes you--then isn't she less likely to be homophobic? Is there a strong case for people being homophobic (racist, whatever) just because they don't really know any of us as individuals?
Or is it the opposite?--more of a situation that is simply that non-homophobic people tend to have more gay friends?

Answer 1

I think that's true. When I came out at one of my previous jobs, people were like, you don't "seem gay", and "I would have never known", and then people were like "I've never known someone gay" and it was more than obvious that people had predisposed notions of what a lesbian should look and act like, and I met none of those stereotypes. So, I think it absolutely helps to get to know us as individuals and not as Wickey the lesbian or Dan the gay guy.

Answer 2

I don't think that every person is accepting of GLBT's....I used to work for small government and all employees had to have mandatory "training" to be more educated about GLBT's...also mandatory "training" for different ethnic groups (blacks, latinos, asians). I thought it was crazy, but we had to do it...your tax dollars at work :-) Anyhow, I always wondered why they didn't have "Straight white people training"...oh boy, better stop there. But some of the comment cards came back with anti-gay messages on them and no one knew who wrote them...and County people are known for being lifers so just being around all kinds of different people doesn't guarantee that they will all get along. It depends on the individual and how accepting they are of others. I have an open mind and an open heart, am not religious but am "morally correct". That means I don't care what race or religion or sexual preference or even if you're a guy who comes to work in full drag, as long as you're not a scumbag or are kind to me and others I will like and respect you and hope you want the same.

Answer 3

You are correct: the more straights who get to know those in the GLBT communicty, then the less likely that either group will remain bigoted against the other.

You ask if the opposite is possible: whether people who are homophobic or racist or whatever will become even more bigoted if they really get to know individuals in the other group. Yes, that is also true.

The difference is in which members of the two groups get to know one another: the "average" members or the "extremist" members.

If the average members of the majority gets to know average gays, then they will realize their similarities and accept their differences.

But if extremist members of the majority -- those who were bred to hate -- get to know extremist gays, then the stereotypes of both groups will be reinforced! Each group will have more evidence that their bigotry is well-founded.

This goes with every community. What are the stereotypes?

The stereotype of the "maintstream" for all communities in the U.S. and E.U. is that they are ignorant, isolationist and bigoted. When members of the minority play to the stereotypes which are assigned to them by the majority, then familiarity reinforces the stereotype, which strengthens the bigotry.

Everyone know the stereotypes of our many minority groups, including ethnic ones (think of the Irish, Mexican, African, Arabic, Chinese, etc.), sexual ones (the gays, lesbians, feminists, etc.), religious ones (Jews, Baptists, Muslims, Catholics, atheists, etc.), and others.

The best of our all communities encourages open minds, the appreciation of our common values and the acceptance of our differences.

Answer 4

Being in business with my guy and dealing with the public, I know its known that we are a couple, but let me tell you something, there hasn't been an instance yet where there has been nothing but good will from the community. Perhaps I'm lucky in that regard. I'd like to think of it instead as being treated humanely because that is the way I treat others. There have been a few comments made from regular customers but its all been on good terms, mostly people coming out to me that they have no problem with it or that they are amazed at how long we've been together. Or, this is a good story, one hot early summers day this season when we were very busy, all kinds of customers, and it was hot, he got a little snippy with me so I made a sarcastic comment back at him, and some guy says, "Now boys, no fighting, everyone knows this is a happy place." and I just burst out laughing.

Answer 5

It's a mixture of both.

The stereotypes about gays scare people who don't actually know any - but once they get to know someone who is gay, and realize they are just another person trying to get on in the world, then, for most people, the stereotypes fall away and they realize people are just people.

However, the already tolerant tend to have more gays friends as a standard.

And the intolerant don't always change.

Answer 6

I think it is both. Some people just can't and won't except it.

I have many good friends who are gay. And I adore them. They can have such great taste and observations, and they are great for insights on men

As to lesbians, I have had a more difficult time with, because I have to remember they like women. I forget, and I can be a very open smiley person... and it has been a lack of consideration on my part. It is something that I have had to learn to temper myself, because I have had people think I was interested when I was simply honest. AH! I lost one friend when I told her I wasn't interested. She kept pushing, I finally told her, "I respect your preference, can't you respect mine?" Ironically she was the one who ended the friendship.

So, yes, there are some who will not accept, some, like me, who make character judgment calls. It doesn't matter to me one way or another, I am much more concerned about the character of my friends.

may we all come to be more accepting,
green terra

Answer 7

I was very homophobic before I got to know the manager at the restaurant my wife worked at. After getting to know him and becoming friends, I realized that my homophobia was based on other peoples prejudice and a lack of knowledge and understanding about gay people. I was very lucky to have known him because he helped me open my eyes to the fact that if you just take the time to get to know someone without any predetermined judgement about how they live their life, your life just might be blessed for having known them. I have friends from all different kinds of political, religous, social and sexual backgrounds and I believe that what I've learned from all of them has made me a better person.

Answer 8

I'm not sure. When I was younger, I was kind of homophobic. Then, my best friend came out, and I became more accepting. Last year, my sister came out as lesbian, and I realized that LGBT is perfectly normal and isn't a choice (and all that stuff). When I look back on it, I am disappointed in myself for being so narrow-minded. Now, I am who I am, and I'm never going back to the old me.

Answer 9

You have to feel out the people that you come out to. The majority of people these days are accepting of gay people, but you still have your few homophobes out there.

Answer 10

Damn good question. When I met my best friend I had no clue that he was gay but as we got closer & he confided in me that he was, I wanted to do everything I could to help him. As a child, my family didn't make a big deal out of gay people. They just explained that sometimes someone falls in love with someone of the same sex so I grew up thinking that it wasn't a big deal. Looking back I always thought my grandmother was a devout Catholic but I guess she wasn't because she was all for people being happy no matter who they fell in love with