Time to show off your story writing skills again, my beloved word wizards!!!?

Question

Please write an amusing story incorporating the following lines in any order.
* For those outside my network, please realize that this is not a homework assignment. I have graduated from college years ago, my homework days are long gone. This is for fun and for some mental exercise.

This one is a bit more challenging, but I know you can do it;

1- "I dare you to move!"
2- Food!!! Glorious Food!!!
3- The suspense is killing me.
4- Don't let the sun go down on me.
5- like a rose needs the rain
6- Don't make me_____
7- "That would be like ordering a mojito without the mint leaves; Unthinkable!!!"

Knock yourselves out...

Awesome stories, guys...You are making it so hard to choose, and I love you all for that...

Answer 1

Millie flopped onto the couch, to watch TV when she noticed her mom looking through an album of old photos in the corner. Jenna was misty-eyed as she looked through the pages.
"What's that Ma?" asked Millie, coming over to snoop. "It's Bill", said Jenna. "He was my one true love....before meeting your father, that is." Millie removed the tiny snapshot to look at it more closely.
"WOW, he's HOT Ma, how come you never told me about him?" Jenna sighed, "Well, if it wasn't for him, you wouldn't even be here, but....its a long story...perhaps some other time................."
"NO WAY MA!!!" She said "The suspense is killing me, out with the story....NOW!!!" Jenna reluctantly agreed.
"Well......, Bill and I had met in my freshman year of high school and since that time had been inseparable! I needed him like a rose needs rain. Being apart from him.....well that would be like ordering a mojito without the mint leaves; Unthinkable!!!" We spent every spare moment of our free time together!"
" Anyways, he had invited me on a camping trip and I eagerly accepted! Once at the camp site, after setting up the tent, Bill and I got into a very hot and heavy make-out session. We had gone as far as I was about to and I made him stop. Well,..... he got furious, calling me a big tease, among other awful names!! We wound up in a shouting match and he threatened to leave me stranded there at the campsite. I can still remember his last words 'Don't make me get in this car and leave your *** here!'. I told him to drop dead and he took off!" She sniffled and rubbed her nose with a Kleenex.
"It was the last time I ever saw him." She mused looking very sad. Millie was spellbound and begged her to continue.
"Well, I waited and waited and he didnt come back, I finally fell asleep in the tent and the next morning he STILL hadn't come back! I decided to look for the highway and became hopelessly lost in the middle of the forest! I couldn't even find my way back to the tent! I prayed 'Don't let the sun go down on me' But despite my wishes it did go down and I fell asleep under a a big tree. I awoke to a rustling sound and found myself face to face with the biggest snake I had ever seen! I looked at him and he looked at me as if to say 'I dare you to move!' Spotting a big rock out of the corner of my eye, my survival instincts kicked in. I smashed it down on his head. ((BOOM))! He was deader than a doornail! Being ravenously hungry, I started a fire with some matches I had in my pocket singing the little ditty, "Food!!! Glorious Food" as I prepared my breakfast !!! It tasted just like chicken!!" Jenna smiled and went on.
"Shortly after that a park ranger, your father, found me wandering in the woods and rescued me! I found out later that Bill's car had broken down. He had gone into the woods, possibly looking for me, we never found out for sure. He was attacked and eaten by a grizzly bear!! The rest is history!!"
Millie was shocked. "Wow, Ma, that's quite a story" Jenna had gotten very emotional during the telling. Millie hugged her, "Come on Ma, cheer up, after all, all's well that ends well, I'll make us both a mojito, WITH the mint leaves"
Mother and daughter walked arm in arm towards the kitchen.

Answer 2

The cannibal pair were starving. Ugh and his wife Mugh had been exiled for mistaking the chief's favorite wife for a missionary's wife and serving her for Sunday brunch to their huge family.
Mugh sat down, exhausted.
"Don't let the sun go down on me." she gasped, catching her breath. "Not until I've had a bite of missionary. I can't make it another day on swamp potatoes."
Suddenly, softly, they heard the strains of singing filtering through the vegetation. Immediately they were all ears. Is that "Shall We Gather at the River", asked Ugh.
"I think it is..." Mugh replied.
Cautiously they crept near the sound, Ugh in advance. When they were close enough to see, Mugh could contain herself no longer. "Is it missionaries?" she fairly leapt on Ugh's shoulders trying to see. "The suspense is killing me."
"Indeed!" he replied.
Reader, I humbly beg that you allow me to remain silent concerning what happened next. Don't make me repeat such a pitiable tale. Let us simply skip forward in time.
Ugh stood by the pot opposite Mugh. He looked into the pot, sighed, then exclaimed "Food!!! Glorious Food!!! Then he dipped his cooking spoon into the pot and tasted the broth, which he spat out with disgust. "There's no salt in here! And where are the swamp potatoes? Why do I always have to get the swamp potatoes" he complained bitterly as he started to turn his back.
Mugh was angry. "You always complain about my cooking. Too bland, too salty, not enough this, too much that. I dare you to move! I've had it up to here with swamp potatoes, and I'm not cooking, much less eating, one more swamp potato!"
Ugh waved his cooking spoon menacingly at Mugh. "Don't make me come over there. Missionaries need salt like a rose needs rain. And leave out the swamp potatoes? That would be like ordering a mojito without the mint leaves; Unthinkable!!!"
Life was good again.

Answer 3

Seth and Mendy were burning the mid-night oil, learning their lines for the end of school play. There's four days left until the big night, and everything had to be in place, all lines learned, the props had to be finsihed, sound and lights, everything for dress researsal tomorrow night.
Mendy: 3.)The suspense is killing me. I can hardly wait to get this show on the road!
Seth: Slow down girl,we haven't exactly hit the big time.
Mendy: For me this is just the beginning. After graduation, I plan to go to Hollywood. I "need" acting..it's part of who I am..5.) like a rose needs the rain.
Seth: Well Mendy, the only thing I can think of at this moment is 2.) Food!!! Glorious Food!!!. Pizza with the works,and chase it down with chocolate cake. I am tired and hungry and ready to call it a night!
Seth grabs his jacket and begins to walk towards the door,in a playful manner.
Mendy runs and stands in front of the door and in a dramatic whisper says 6.) Don't make me SCREAM!!
Acting is my EVERYTHING! I have got to know my lines and you won't make a fool of the rest of us, by being unprepaired!
Seth: To Be Or Not To Be! Is That The Question?
Mendy: Stop CLOWNING Around! This is serious. You've got to be serious. Please....don't blow this!!! my big chance!
Seth:7.) "That would be like ordering a mojito without the mint leaves; Unthinkable!! But Mendy, have mercy.....I am starving!!, tired, and I haven't played my video game ALL DAY LONG!!!!!
Mendy: Seth...."I dare you to move!" Just one more hour.
Seth was at his witts end. As her lowered his head, he began to speak to her in a low,but firm tone of voice. Look Mensi...I have been over here since 4:40 this afternoon. When you asked me to come over to practice our lines, I told you then4.)Don't let the sun go down on me. Now...you have re-done your make-up three times. Your mom has had to to redo your costume three times..because you simply cannot be pleased. Your dad has been in here running that video camera three times....Now...Mensi...we haven't used the script for hours...we know our lines. Mendy..step away from the door. No more fits, I am going home.
Good Night....don't call me...I'll call you.

Answer 4

It had been a pretty typical Sunday at work at the Police Department (or as we called it "Lt. Queen's Hell). The day started out with us standing in line for roll call and the Lieutenant's favorite game was seeing which of us would leave first after his incredibly boring rollcall. He said "I dare you to move!" which would result in some spurious reprimand later to get payback on you.
Finally we were allowed to leave and go on patrol. I kind of liked the first part of the shift when my helmet wasn't soaked with sweat yet and the Harley Road King was running so strong, I loved it! One of my colleagues and I got called to "Mabel's Sinfully Delicious Deli" on a possible theft of services. My partner called me to go the tac channel and said "what is a theft of services at Mabel's? The suspense is killing me."
We arrived and found a man who was clearly deranged wandering around trying to sample food from other people's tables saying "Don't let the sun go down on me." When we asked him what he was talking about he said "like a rose needs the rain."
I realized he thought he was a bee and he was trying to pollenate people's food like flowers. He continued to try and do this while we were trying to get his identification and find out if he had escaped from some mental hospital.
He then said "don't make me sting you!" and we laughed ourselves almost to death. We were escorting him to my partner's car and he asked us if we could get him some packets of honey to go?
My partner ever the smart aleck said "that would be like ordering a moholito without the mint leaves. Unthinkable!" We then gave him 4 packets of honey which thrilled him beyond measure!

Answer 5

Some months ago, I became involved in Yahoo Answers. The longer I participated in writing stories for Words and WordPlay, the more obsessed I became, even collecting points occasionally for a Best Answer. After a time, I’d accumulated enough points and was chosen Best Answer often enough that I was awarded a coveted Top Contributor badge.

That badge became an addiction I had to feed. Like a rose needs the rain, I continually hunted for surprising and unique plot lines to attract the attention of the question askers. Finally, my thirst for Best Answer could no longer be satisfied by my own talents. I began to scheme how I might collect more and more Best Answers.

My fellow story writer, Stephanie, asked why I wasn’t content to be satisfied with writing a good story. “Don’t make me laugh,” I chuckled at her naivete. “That would be like ordering a mojito without the mint leaves. Unthinkable!”

I considered and rejected the idea of opening multiple accounts. I could post questions with my “alter ego” accounts, use them to give myself thumbs up, and then award myself Best Answer. It would take more time and effort to maintain multiple accounts than I had time to devote. I also had to work, sleep, and especially eat. “Food, glorious food!”

Finally, I devised a devious and ingenious plot to hijack other members of their Best Answer points. I don’t want to reveal exactly how it worked, but it involved distracting the best writers, who would otherwise be my competition for Best Answer, through plots and intrigue, and many time-consuming online communications.

I was able to maintain my Top Contributor status for a time, but eventually my savvy fellow writers saw through my flimsy subterfuge. They began plotting to keep ME busy and to isolate me in retribution for my bad behavior. My Best Answer percentage began to fall. The suspense was killing me.

I threatened to move over to Polls and Surveys to re-establish myself. “I dare you to move,” one of my biggest challengers threatened. “We’ll tell them, and you’ll be buried over there, too.”

Finally one morning when I logged on I could see that my percentage had slipped below that required to be a Top Contributor. “Don’t let the sun go down on me!” I cried, but sure enough, my Top Contributor badge had disappeared.

Now, I am just a destitute, homeless YAer, picking my way through the “Am I cute?” and “What should I name my kitten?” questions, content to pick up two points wherever I can find them.

Answer 6

LOST AT SEA
I decided to go fishing and take Cyclone with me for company.Cyclone is our dog and a real pain sometimes but a good companion on other occasions. He got his name as a pup because he never stopped chasing the next door neighbours cat or anything else for that matter.He actually nipped the poor thing's tail as it scampered up the tree trying to get out of reach from Cyclone. Yep, he's something else all right and bark?I shouldn't be taking him fishing but my buddy couldn't go so it's going to be me and ol'Cyclone.
5 A.M. the next morning I drank my coffee, grabbed the couple of lunches, Barb my wife, made for me and a handful of biscuits for Cyclone.My gear was packed and we were off.
The water was calm as we got into our boat. It was going to be a great day. "Well Cyclone are we going to catch anything?" I asked. Cyclone barked as if knew what I was saying.
I started up the motor and we were off. The sun was just starting to come out.I couldn't wait to throw that line out.About ten minutes later the motor started making noises, choked, and cut out. Now what? "Tough," I thought to myself. I wasn't going to let this ruin my day.I could catch fish here, row back later, and there were boats coming and going all the time if we needed help.
Not worried about it I baited up and threw my line out.Ah, this was the life.
Nothing much happened that morning but after a hearty lunch I tried again.In a matter of minutes I felt this huge tug.
"Oh my gosh Cyclone," I yelled, "We got something!"
"Easy does it Jimmy ol' boy." I said to myself.
It was giving me a hard time and THE SUSPENSE WAS KILLING ME. I thought I had it when all of a sudden it took full hold of us and took off with me hanging on for dear life and Cyclone barking his head off.We must have been doing 65 knots straight out to see. We could match any speed boat around, that is if there were any to be seen.The rod was stuck in the side of the boat somehow and every now and then this head would pop up for a breath of air. Oh gee, it was a shark and his speed wasn't slowing down. Each breath he took, Cyclone barked louder which urged the shark to go faster than ever.
"Cyclone," I yelled in a panicked voice, " Sit down and shut up. DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE because I'll heave you overboard if I do."
Just then the rod snapped and we slowed down right in the middle of no where.
Cyclone kept barking while I tried to calm myself down.
Three days later I ate my last half cookie as Cyclone looked at me with his tongue hanging out. He started to sit up and I said,"I DARE YOU TO MOVE! This is MINE and you aren't getting it."
I don't know if I was more thirsty or hungry but LIKE A ROSE NEEDS THE RAIN I was ready to dunk my head and take a gulp of that salt water only I knew I'd be a withered "rose" if I did.
Evening was approaching again."Oh gee," I cried, "DON'T LET THE SUN GO DOWN ON ME AGAIN because Cyclone is starting to look like a juicy well done rump roast.I could almost taste it."FOOD! GLORIOUS FOOD! OH dear God, what am I thinking, THAT WOULD BE LIKE ORDERING A MOJITO WITHOUT THE MINT LEAVES;UNTHINKABLE."
Cyclone started barking. Maybe he had the same idea about me but then I heard something. Yes it was a motor and it was Search and Rescue on it's way.
FOOD! GLORIOUS FOOD! We were both going to finally get some and not each other.

Answer 7

i'm attempting to make your innovations up the thank you to place those words into chronological order. would that be the order wherein I first encountered them or the order wherein they first appeared interior the English language. perchance there's a miles less complicated rationalization. perchance the inquisitor does no longer mean chronological order yet basically logical order. This afternoon a bright chocolate dandy with each frankfurter replaced into chuffed his Honda icky and jeweled went koo-koo.