ive been married for almost 3years and i have a 2 year, i work full time and so does my husband. we are both in the military.
i love my husband so very much, but i just dont have a sex drive anymore. i feel like i have to force myself to have sex at lease once a week. My husband keeps asking me what the problems is but i dont know...i need help. im only 20.
help me
2007-08-04 10:55:34 · 14 answers · asked by navyenlisted 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'd say it was "stress" related. Stress of your difficult job, stress of being a Mom, stress of being a wife....plus ALL that entails. I would check with my doctor though, just in case it's something else.
2007-08-04 11:09:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I suggest first seeing your doctor (obgyn). If that does not help then I suggest you look into some individual therapy and perhaps eventually sex therapy for you and your husband. The stress of being in the military can be overwhelming not to mention being a mother and a wife and sex is hard for a woman (I have been told and experienced) when there is a lot of tension. See the link below it is a national directory for sex therapists (that are really trained to help). I wish you good luck and thanks for fighting for us!
(Edit) To the answer from the woman above. I believe the asker said she had a problem with her sex drive and not that her husband complaining! Just think that some women automaticly assume that its the men who usually have the complaints about sex drive but it can be women to.
2007-08-04 11:07:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You could go to the doctor and have your testosterone level checked. While we tend to associate this hormone with men, women make small amounts of it also and it is a huge factor in sex drive.
However, with a husband, a job, and a two year old, you're probably just plain tired. And/or you're just so preoccupied with the needs of the child, and everything else going on, that you just can't release yourself to your desires. Just a thought, but perhaps it would be possible to find another well trusted couple in a similar situation. They could keep your toddler one night a week and you could do the same for them. That could be your night to just let go and take care of your own personal needs as well as your husband's.
2007-08-04 11:11:27 · answer #3 · answered by Tom K 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i believe what you are going through is normal as woman.
you are physically tired and drained. men, especially husbands seem to not understand that being a mother, wife, full time employee has an affect on our bodies. it is like we are being pulled on in every direction, especially the children direction. we are up comforting the child in the middle of the night, being emotionally supportive dealing with the child in the terrible two stage (that is the most exhausting), cooking, cleaning, maintaining a house.
then after all that, he expects to have sex which calls for much more energy. perhaps, you can convince hubby to start picking up some slack around the house or in other areas you may need help and maybe you will have more energy to give to him.
2007-08-04 11:07:25 · answer #4 · answered by karMA_DAME 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot of it I'm sure is stress, but some of it could also be depression. You could ask your doctor to put you on something to see if that helps. If you have any leave time coming up maybe you could take a vacation and get a babysitter for a day or two and relax with your husband. See if that helps. If you guys can try to plan a date night once a week that will definitely improve things.
2007-08-04 11:32:13 · answer #5 · answered by Dani&Morgan 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
When I was in my early 20's and my wife was in the military, I worked for the goverment and we had a 2 year old. we found the we had to make time just for ourselves. Get a baby sitter and go away for a weekend. Treat yourselves becauce if your not good to each otheryou will be no good to anyone. Just my experiece doesn't mean it will work but it got my wifes sex drive back. Good Luck
2007-08-04 11:15:20 · answer #6 · answered by crackers 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well what did you expect? you basically work two full time jobs. you work a full time job and you take care of your daughter. if you do most (if not all) of the child rearing then you have the right to be tired and not be in the mood for sex. if your husband wants to have sex then he will need to help you out more so that you aren't so tired by the end of the day. somethings got to give or something will be neglected.
2007-08-04 11:50:08 · answer #7 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go see a doctor right away. There are a lot of illnesses for which lack of a sex drive is a symptom. Good luck.
2007-08-04 11:02:39 · answer #8 · answered by ddd 874 587 545 543 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur a full time women and that is very stressful but it could be low libido in u. women get it all the time even as young as 20 i have heard not sure if that much is true . but i know u dont have to be old as dirt either. go and talk to ur Doc
2007-08-04 11:00:32 · answer #9 · answered by sean a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off i hope you don't get rude answers
second with a full time job and a 2 year old your probabaly
pretty wore out
find someone to baby sit and take a weekend off somewhere
just the two of you.
week would be better
2007-08-04 11:11:17 · answer #10 · answered by justmeandcaring 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋