A little boy looks up and sees a future untold
he is a star and his voice a symphony
he has a wish , he wont tell it to me
he will only tell it in his dreams
A little girl, small town they want her to be
To lose her smile and put on that agony
she has a wish she wont tell it to me
she will only tell it in her dreams
When they throw their stones at you
don't come undone
when they bow their heads to you
please do not succumb
don't let them take your dream away
keep it on your own
cause they can say anything
but you can overcome
2007-08-04 08:17:17 · 10 answers · asked by Sunshine 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
ha ha.. I didn't even catch that I put DO you enjoy my poem... sorry guys!
2007-08-04 08:31:34 · update #1
I thought it was interesting. I liked the message. One minor nit:
A little girl, small town they want her to be
To lose her smile and put on that agony
The part between to be and to lose seems a bit awkward to me.
What I really liked here was this one part:
when they bow their heads to you
please do not succumb
Because while we think about resisting persecution, we don't often consider the danger of praise. I think that is a very astute observation.
Thanks for sharing.
2007-08-04 10:54:47 · answer #1 · answered by Todd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought that was very creative. All poets have their own style and taste, so don't listen to those people who don't know what poetry is all about. This was nicely written. Try publishing on Poetry.com and you could win a prize. You are extremely good. Keep on going. You got a great future ahead of you.
2007-08-04 15:26:23 · answer #2 · answered by djb32067433_1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I did enjoy it. It comes and goes a little...like you want art more than expression...but it is nice work.
2007-08-04 15:24:51 · answer #3 · answered by TD Euwaite? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is really good , you write very well. im offically impressed.
great control of your words , very honest and original
if you have antmore e mail me one and Ill send one of mine .
jethro
2007-08-04 21:16:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it was very moving, especially the last verse .... keep up the good work debbiej xx
2007-08-04 17:22:15 · answer #5 · answered by debbie j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry, but i wasn't feeling it, but you are young so you might get better. Try reading more poetry.
2007-08-04 15:22:41 · answer #6 · answered by Chara Pointshot 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You mean, did you enjoy my poem, not, do you. That's not correct English.
2007-08-04 15:19:39 · answer #7 · answered by newyorkgal71 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
lovely
2007-08-04 17:18:18 · answer #8 · answered by luminous 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Much needed thank you.
2007-08-04 15:28:37 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i thought you were kinda repeating yourself. but i really really like it!!!!
2007-08-04 15:46:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋