In regards to marriage why does this happen?

Question

I have heard well the reason a man or a woman commits adultry is because there needs are not being met at home.
And that is not always true.

I know of a wonderful woman who got maried and blessed her husbnad with 4 beatuiful children. Things were going well.

My sibling finds out that this man left her and her family for a 21 year old and this woman is the kindest person I ever met.

In regards to marriage why does adultry happen and why do the good people who were cheated on suffer so much, why does this occur?

Answer 1

alot of times it's because one of the spouses have a sex addiction problem.

people that sleep with alot of people before getting married find it hard to stay with one person, no matter how in love they may be.

I really encourage the younger people to "save" themselves for marriage...because there married lives will be so much more happier.

and all of you that say this doesn't make any sense...don't lie to yourselves. Sex addiction is just as serious as a drug addiction. Would you marry a drug addict?

Answer 2

The children are of no matter in the relationship of the man and his wife. Things of this nature occur most often when things seem to be fine to others on the outside. Most often the man or woman feels very down and out when they open up to someone else, in their life, things go on and things happen that makes this person feel good about them self and seek out what makes them feel good and worthy, to them and others, around them. It does not have to do with what this person has to lose. This most often is not what this person is seeing, when it is right under their nose, the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. The one that is left behind to pick up the pieces are often very hurt and feeling very unworthy. In this case this person will suffer the most when she looks at her children, she will always see the love she once shared with the other person. It will take time to recover from this but life does indeed go on and hopefully, she will find herself in a much better life than before.

There has to be more to this story than what we are being told. I say the children are of no matter due to the fact the children should not impact the intimacy of the marriage. There has to be a lot of things under the curtain, that we may not be aware of and assuming things is not appropriate. Marriage is always a two way street. Everyone is unique in nature, and respect to one another.

Hope for the best
Rags37

Answer 3

The real reason that people cheat is not in our "instinct" and our basic need to ensure the continuation of the species like some of these people would have you believe.

Yes we are basically animals and yes we have some basic instincts. And no it's not mans basic instinct to just have sex with as many women as they possibly can now i know there are some that would try to use this as an excuse, i have known some that even got away with using that excuse.

There are many creatures in this world that have the instinct to mate for life. Humans are in fact one of these creatures, for man it is his basic nature to find a woman to mate with her and have children. And then his basic instinct becomes to provide for and protect his family, this is human instinct.

Granted, there are some who are forced by religious values and other basic instincts inside of them to choose a mate that is not quite right for them. And this alone can cause the man to run off and try to find the woman that will be right for him. The only real thing to blame for this is the fact that the two people in question did not take the time to truely get to know each other to determine weather they were right for each other in the first place. They rushed things and jumped into a relationship that neither of them really wanted and tried to make things work, some people actually manage to do this for 20+ years and end up dying miserable and alone even when someone is only two feet away from them.

As far as why other marriages tend to fall apart and one person ends up cheating. It's a simple lack of understanding, a lot of people communicate with thier spouses but more often then not they fail to understand what is being said. This leads to such unhappiness that even the couple that just seem to be made for each other can end up splitting up.

I'll agree with some other posters, only the couple in question really know what happened behind closed doors. Public appearances can be quite decieving and this woman who you claim to be the kindest person you ever met could have been the most hideous witch you ever met when no one but her husband was around.

Simply put people expect relationships to be easy, and refuse to put the true effort into communicating and understanding thier mate. Often in relationships there is no compromise, too often it ends up being one dictating how the relationship should be to the other. No relationship can ever last if the people do not sit down and put a true effort into understanding the others actual intentions and motivations and work towards finding an acceptable compromise. Too often it becomes "My way or the highway."

Answer 4

I don't always believe that the reason someone cheats is because their needs are not being met. People cheat because those chose to cheat. Some people get so complacent in their lives that they don't want to find new ways to keep the spark in their relationship. I feel sorry for the woman you speak of....it is a shame that bad things sometimes do happen to good people. However, we don't know exactly what is happening in the bedroom. The woman you speak of may be a wonderful person to everyone...but do you REALLY know how great her sexual relationship was with her husband?

Answer 5

There is no single all including answer. Prerhaps the man/woman has left the jungle but the jungle has not left them . People who do this more often than not cannot understand themselves why they did it. The traumatic shock afterwards is almost always more devistating than the actual event.and Often the other spouse starts thinking in terms of payback whitch only adds fuel to a already nasty situation. There is always a reason for adultry that is often never known.

Answer 6

I did it once the excuses I used now that I think about it were bs excuses, But at the time my self esteem was low, I felt like my life was falling apart an I couldn't control it So I turned to a complete stranger for companionship an sex hoping to just escape it all. Didn't work everything was still the same when I left that motel room, but I had more to deal with after wards because with everything else I was feeling I had guilt to add to it....... Looking back on it now I regret it because the one nite could have cost me what I have put 15 yrs into.

Answer 7

some men (and women too) just really like the excitement and passion of first love. it's in the first stage of love that your endorphins and adreniline are pumping, you feel sexy and desired, you overlook faults and see your lover as ideal and amazing, every word they say captivates you, they are new and mysterious and you can project your fantasies onto them. whereas a few years down the line...with a real complex relationship, all the everyday issues that press upon you such as bills, kids, family problems, day to day emotions, the relationship and sex turns mundane. yes, i can understand why adultery happens. I have a friend where she was having sex w/ her husband almost every day, if not every day, and he STILL cheated. It is not just is he getting his needs met. some men just want the thrill of new lady. it shows a lack of maturity and commitment that's for sure, and a disregard for consequences or the feelings of their partner. but, a lot of people still do it because it is easier to escape your problems than confront them.

Answer 8

The laws of one man and one woman after marriage are forced in recent times by the society thinking that will end the complicated situtations existing earlier.

By nature man or a woman is basically a animal and in terms of nature there is no rule written about adultry or commitment of marriage. In nature man always shows a wish to mate any female that comes accross him when he is excited and the female having the right to choose the right mate, not necessary one mate everytime.

So the foundation of adultry lies in these basic instincts that we can never get rid of under the name of society or religions.

Answer 9

It's because some people are not responsible
to their committment to their partner and even
though one may be it takes two for the marriage to
work. The one that is responsible and committed
always gets hurt because they are the victims of
a non-true partner. So Sad.

Answer 10

Some women, particularly white ones, change their appearance to look more asexual as they move into middle age and start cutting back on sex.

No straight guy wants to have sex with a woman who looks like John Madden on purpose.

If a woman doesn't want a guy to cheat, do two things:

a) don't get a guy's haircut

b) have sex with your guy at least a couple of times a week, even if you have to start it, so even if he is tempted to cheat, he won't have the ammunition to do so.