My husband and I seperated a month ago. He already has a girlfriend. We havent even filed for a divorce yet. Is it wrong of me to be upset about this? Or am I being too emotional?
2007-08-04 07:26:54 · 30 answers · asked by who knows 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well I know the girl. I used to work with her. My husband has worked with her for the past year and a half. She knows me. She knows we are still married. Apparently he has been discussing our marriage with her for some time now. And now boom we seperate and he is with her! I dont understand. I do think that it has been going on longer than since we have been seperated. And then take into consideration that he had an affair on me when I was 8 and 9 months pregnant. I got over that. Why cant i get over this
2007-08-04 08:53:59 · update #1
I imagine he has had that girlfriend for awhile now, and you are just now realizing it.
YOU have every right to be upset!
Men do not realize, that we give MORE than our bodies to them, we give our hearts and our souls.
We put everything into our relationship with them and then they go out and pull this BS.
YOU deserve better than him, better than what he gave you sweetheart.
Take care of yourself, and know that I will be thinking of you and will pray for you.
Blessings.
2007-08-04 07:33:13 · answer #1 · answered by Midnight Winter WOLF 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand that it must hurt, your ego if anything.
Now, whatever the reason for your separation, it looks like it IS official, so he's not really doing anything wrong.
The best thing for both of you is to make a separation agreement and to go to a solicitor for that.
I understand that it must hurt, and for that to happen, I guess you may still be in love with your husband.
Well, maybe it's worth not rushing into a divorce, but sorting yourself out, why the marriage has failed, why you were not happy either of you.
Well, why do you think your husband is so quick to get with someone else? Was he not happy in the marriage? Is he trying to show you what you're losing if you are the one who wanted to end the relationship. Is he trying to make you jalous so that you come back?
Things are not always what they seem, and feelings are very complicated to explain.
You're probably both all over the place at the moment.
Again, do not rush into a divorce, for being there and although I know I'm feeling better for it, in many ways, I know that you go from so many contradictory emotions, even when it's you who make the decision.
For now, focus on how you feel, and take those first months of separation to lick your wounds and rediscover yourself.
Good luck.xxx
2007-08-04 08:05:36 · answer #2 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I am the girlfriend of a separated man. I am not the cause of the separation. In fact, I did not know him until after they were separated. They had problems way before they were separated. So, it all depends on the issue the two of you had in the marriage. What ever you do don't be mad at the girlfriend. If you don't plan on getting a divorce than that's different. Married or Not any time you come out a relationship with some you love emotions play a role.
2007-08-04 07:45:04 · answer #3 · answered by ladydeneice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it wrong? yes. But trust me you could have a very hard divorce, at least he is not looking in your windows. You could hire a PI to take pics like the other answer said but it would be useless to you because you already know. If you are happier without him let it go. I am sure you are an attractive young lady that can find a good man. Cut you losses and get on with the divorce. Try to keep you mind off of him while the divorce is being finalized. And last of all have a girls night out with all of your friends celebrating your divorce. Have a great life and hope all is well after your divorce
2007-08-04 07:41:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just leave it, it's fine to be upset, but if you are separated, then there's really nothing wrong about him dating. It's obviously understandable how you feel, but you have to move on sometime, and now is a good a time as ever. It's also possible that he's upset about the divorce, and this is his way of "getting over" you.
Please don't start suing anyone, that would just make everything worse, and besides, it's not the girlfriend's fault...
2007-08-04 07:37:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing you feel is wrong. When you love someone, you naturally feel jealous or upset to see them with someone else. But the reality of it is, he has the right to be with whoever he wants since you two are no longer together. People react differently to divorce/separation. Some immediately get into another relationship, others become players, and some lock themselves in their room and grieve.
You have to take care of yourself and start the process of letting go...shift the attention back to yourself, your needs and what you have to do to make yourself happy without him.
I know it's easier said than done, but give yourself some time. Obsessing over what he's doing, will only take away from the energy you could be putting into rebuilding your own life.
2007-08-04 07:34:40 · answer #6 · answered by Lioness 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, you can be upset, feelings are not right or wrong, they just are. If you were hoping for a reconciliation and chance to start again, this move on your husband's part makes that a difficult avenue to pursue. It seems clear that your husband thinks that he is again a free man and has no obligation of fidelity to you. Sadly, it would seem that divorce is on the horizon for you, unless you get competent counseling or attend a Retrouvaille Weekend together.
2007-08-04 07:34:05 · answer #7 · answered by Mawia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my gosh, my ex boyfriend left me a month and a half ago and was already with someone else right after he moved out! You are not being to emotional, you are probably going through the emotions I have been going through- disbelief, hurt, anger, rage, confusion, sadness, etc. It is only natural, you are human. Allow yourself to feel this because it is part of the healing process, let it all out. See a counselor, or find someone that you can talk to that you can confide in. Good luck with everything, and I hope we both find much happiness in life!
2007-08-04 08:26:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you and your hubby are seperated and going to be filing for divorce, why do you care what he does?? Is it wrong of him, YES!! But he is going to have to be the one to live with the choices that he makes.
You need to move on and leave him in the past. File for divorce and find someone who is much better than him and deserves the time you give to him.
2007-08-04 07:30:58 · answer #9 · answered by endo_chic 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hire a PI to take pics of them 2 and then you can sue her for the divorce. You are still legally married and he is commiting adultery.
Often, seperation is a time to figure things out. It doesnt all out make someone make someone all out single.
You have a right to be upset. Spend some time with your friends and concentrate on making yourself happy- another person doesnt do that for you.
2007-08-04 07:30:56 · answer #10 · answered by Paradox 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My question is why do you care? You're separated. If the divorce is forth coming leave it alone. The reason he did it was for attention in bed and to bury how he feels about you, that is if he ever felt anything for you. Most men can't stand to be alone. So he needs someone. And if he did it to make you mad, guess what? It has worked. He wins you lose. It's a game...play the game but be a woman of virtue.
2007-08-04 07:32:18 · answer #11 · answered by shilandriat8@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋