should i tell my wife i need answers?

Question

Ive been married 11 months and am expecting my first child. A few months ago I went to my buddies bachelor party. Things got crazy and i got really drunk. I wound up sleeping with one of the strippers in a drunk stupor. About 3 weeks later I realized I had contracted a STD I love and respect my wife so much, yet I just cant tell her the truth. We have been intimate since the incident. I am afraid she may have got the STD from me. What do I do, I dont want to lose my family.

Answer 1

im sorry but how self-centered and irresponsible is that? your wife is pregnant for God's sake, did you know that herpes can make a child blind at birth if the prooper precations aren't taken, and what about HIV, you've been sleeping with your poor, unsuspecting wife, infecting her and possibly killing your child,
I have no respect for drunkards and cheaters, you should tell your wife, and yes, she will leave you, you deserve it

Answer 2

Well... I know my opinion is different then the others. But, I understand making a mistake, and regretting it. I'm not sure what kind of std you contracted. Because there are some STD's that can be treated, and don't even show any symptoms. If you had something obvious.. then why hasn't your wife asked about it?? Or, was she no angel before she married you and could be thinking that she gave it to you.?? I'm not trying to talk bad about your wife, but trying to save your marriage. Do, you really think she will ever love you the same if she knows you've cheated? Do you think she will ever trust you completely if she knows? NO NO NO> ask any guy who has had to pay the price of cheating with the woman he wants to stay with. Women will always bring it up and never let you live it down. It is what orginally ruined my marriage, and destroyed it. I say the best defense is a good ofense. Lie, lie, lie if you get caught. Unless you are ready to be a part time dad, and a single man.

good luck in whatever you do.... but keep the dollars and something else in your pockets at the next bachelor party.

Answer 3

Listen, for the sake of your baby, tell your wife the truth. I don't know what kind of STD you contacted, but there are some that lay doormat for while and this means your wife could have contacted it without either of you knowing, so the baby could be in danger. Something like herpes can have serious side effects or even cause death to a newborn if it passes through the birth canal while the mother is having an outbreak. There are also STD's that can have serious side effects to woman and their future chances to have children.

I don't think there is any excuse for you did. Drunk or not, it's just not acceptable. But you can at least be a man about it now and own up to it. You're afraid telling your wife will cause her to leave you, but not telling her could cause far more problems health wise for her and the baby.

You seem like you're truly sorry for it, so talk to her and express how sorry you are. I wish you both the best of luck and healthy baby.

Answer 4

She might be upset that you posted this question on yahoo.

I agree with the others that it's essential you tell her for her & the child's safety.

However, you should have thought about sleeping with your wife again after you slept with the stripper/hooker. Not having the conversation or getting checked out before was the big mistake.

Since that can't be done, this may have serious repurcussions on your relationship. Drinking too much is not a good excuse. You are going to change and prove you have changed before she is going to come close to forgiving you.

You should also alert the stripper that she has an STD. Maybe you can sue her or at least get her to disclose she has an STD.

Answer 5

Youve got a big problem because if she is pregnant and you did give her an STD its going to show up in one of her blood tests and then watch out. Not that its going to be any easier but you must own up and confess her to her now so she can let the Drs know before it somehow or even if it might affect the baby. Kindof late to think about losing your family now whether it was intended or not but you got to make this right. Do it and good luck

Answer 6

Sorry to say, you have NO choice but to tell her. There are many different types of STD's which could impact your baby's health.
I feel for your wife. A newlywed. Pregnant. An unfaithful spouse less than a year into the marriage. And now she and her baby may have an STD. That is an awful lot of stress for one person to deal with.
This is going to be EXTREMELY hard on her. You are going to need to be more supportive and understanding than you would have ever thought. She is going to be pissed and hurt and scared. And the one person who she would normally turn to, is the one who caused her all of the problems.

Answer 7

We all make mistakes and we have to take responsibility and deal with the consequences. You have already acted selfishly by sleeping with another woman (I'm sure you have beat yourself enough over that, so I know there is no need for you to hear it again), but now you have the opportunity to act responsibly no matter what the consequences are. You're putting your wife and future child's health at risk because you are afraid of telling her and having to deal with the consequences. Man up, sit her down, tell her the truth and be prepared for the reaction and consequences....she may leave you, she may not, but at this point none of that should be your priority- only their health is.

Hopefully the STD you caught is curable...also, give her as much time and space as she needs and show her that you are ready to take responsibility for your actions. Good luck to you.

Answer 8

How stupid of you to have sex with your wife while she is pregnant knowing you have an std. She will find out whether you tell her or not because she will get tested before she has the baby. they have to do test to know what steps to take to determine whether or not to do a c-section. Shame on you. You need to tell your wife now before the baby is harmed. You don't care about your wife, or your child that's coming. She will be much better off without you.

Answer 9

First, have you been to the clinic? if not why not? Next thing to decide is, do you think that this kind of thing is likely to happen again? If no, then keep quiet and wait to see if she has contracted anything, then if she has confess, that is if you want to have any chance of good relationship. If you think you might find yourself in the position where you might cheat again then you have to think more seriously about counselling, and you should really tell your wife, now. If you think you might cheat again, there is a reason for it, decide if you want to confront that or go your seperate ways.

Answer 10

You need to tell your wife the truth. She'll be pissed (and rightfully so) but she needs to know not only for her health, but that of your child. With any luck, she won't leave you. If you don't tell her, then its something that will always be over you. Most likely she'll wonder if something is up if she tests positive for the STD, and you'll have to come clean. Tell her now and it may be easier.

Good Luck.

Also, stop drinking yourself stupid.

Answer 11

You need to be honest with your wife. You need to tell her about your "druken stupor" because she deserves to know...especially if you contracted an STD and probably passed it on to her.

There are a lot of STD's that can cause serious health complications and long-term effects if they are not treated....ESPECIALLY IN PREGNANT WOMEN! Could you forgive yourself if you knew you harmed your baby because of your actions!?!?

Tell your wife that you regret what you did and that you are very sorry and don't want to lose her or the baby. There is a good chance that she will forgive you.