What do you say to someone who INSULTS you every time you see them and there is NO way to completely avoid....

Question

them because they are family member?
This is so frustrating!!!!! I usually hold nothing back but it happens to be an In Law family member and I would hate to cause complete friction to the point we are unable to go to or have family functions. Last time I spoke my mind.....it was months before anyone spoke to me again.

Answer 1

You tried and suffered for it. now it is time for your husband to step up and bat for you. It is his family and he should never let anyone say anything mean or disrespectful to you no matter who it is! OMG it is a good thing for you that I don't live by you and could be there. I would have those people so mad at me I wouldn't be allowed at your house,lol/ They will do it until your husband puts his foot down.♥j

Answer 2

Hmm. That's a tough one. IDK if I'm the best to be giving you advice on something like this because, if it were me I would totally tell the person off and maybe even punch em. But I understand you can't do that because of potential friction. Still, I am the type I don't put up with abuse from anyone. I used to take a lot of abuse from my peers when I was a kid in school. I never stood up for myself back then, and as a consequence, I am now hyper-sensitive to any and all criticism.

But I will give you the advice that is most prudent, despite the fact that I myself would not even be able to "be the bigger person."
You should go to the person who insults you, and say something to the effect "I really don't appreciate the way you talk to me. You make me out to be a bad person and you know very well that I'm not. Why do you treat me like that?"
And I bet they won't be able to give you a strait answer.

Also, be sure to explain to other family members what is going on with that individual and that you disagree with their opinion of you and it upsets you. And whenever the person insults you, say "I'm sorry you feel that way. But this is me and this is how I am, and I won't appologise for it. I am a good person, and if you don't agree, that's your problem."

I know you may be reticent to face the problem head-on like this. It can be very uncomfortable. But I think you will find in the end, you can resolve the issue peacefully and gain some serious respect. At least, I hope so. Good luck, and take care.

Answer 3

I would pull this person aside and beat the crap out of him/her, get to the point so that they never want to speak to you again. It's hard to insult someone when your starving for air:~)
I'm sure you can think of a way to"get even" Hire a hit man, push them off of a bridge, preferably locked in the trunk of their car!!
No seriously, my brother-in-law used to do that. Then one day I called him out on the mat and told him what a coward that I thought he was. He's acts a little better now, because he knows I despise him. I don't give that punk the time of day. If he gets involved in something that I'm doing, I walk off. I won't even converse with him. Good thing, we don't run into each other to often and when we do the family is so large I can be totally away from him. Of course most family members feel the same way that I do about him. Only his Mommy invites him to the family functions

Answer 4

That's a hard one. I think instead of saying something in retaliation such as insulting them back or calling them something if they call you something I would just come out and ask politely was there some problem I wasn't aware of or was there a reason they felt they needed to insult you all the time. I mean it certainly isn't right no matter who they are and to be quite honest if all they do is insult you then who cares if anyone speaks to you. They are in the wrong not you. Maybe that is the reason we don't associate with our family very much but I've decided if they make me miserable then why should I put up with their behavior? I'm more happy with my friends who are not kin to me than the family that is supposed to be my own flesh and blood. People who are not kin to you are usually more kind and respect your feelings more. I know it shouldn't be that way but that is how it is in my world.

Answer 5

Well, I will say IGNORE this person completely. If he/she says ANYTHING to you just keep doing whatever it is that you're doing. Act as if you didn't hear this person say anything. LIKE they are not even present. If you look at this person look right through them. Like looking at the person beyound them or the trees. I would make sure that my other half is fully aware of what I am doing and your other half is going to have to support you on this. But before I did this I would contact this family member who is the aszhole and tell this person that you do not want them to say hi to you or anything else.
You might even want to contact this person and find out what their problem is that they have with you. If you can't work out the differences with this person then go with my advice above. I do wish you luck in this matter, as I have been to and am presently going through a problem with a family member. (yes an in law)

Answer 6

. . In laws or out laws it doesn't make any difference. If someone insults you, you have a right to ask why they are insulting you, ignore them completely or speak up for yourself . You should not be made to sit and not defend yourself because they are "family' members and not be able to have family functions. I had a similar problem, and I explained to the "family' that I would no longer tolerate being insulted for no reason, and that they were welcome to come to my home but that certain members would not be welcome. If you don't nip it off at the beginning, it will only get worse as time goes on.

Answer 7

Next time they say something insulting try not even acknowledging them directly , speak in third person such as give them the hand and say Ejade prefers not speaking with you because it's nothing but a bother thanks anyways so long . This will put the ball in there court but leave them little room for reply except to be more obvious to everyone that they are bent on making an *** of themself . That will make it more difficult for anyone else to see the other person in any favorable light , hopefully other wise let them have it again or ask your hubby to speak up to them about it .

Answer 8

That's a really hard one, but you getting mad and speaking your mind is probably exactly the effect they are going for. I would say next time it happens...throw a big ole unexpected (longer than usual) hug on them and say: Oh so-&so...I just love you too...and maybe throw in a kiss on the cheek for good measure! It will probably leave them totally stunned and speechless! And if it starts a fight...well then at least you & everyone else will know that you tried to do the right thing...and they chose to take the low road! Then let 'em have it!!! lol ;o)

Answer 9

The next time it happens meet with the person in a private area. Speak to him/her in an adult-to-adult fashion. Site the example, stick to the facts while trying not to say "you did, you said", but rather address the event. Then explain to him/her how it made you FEEL. Explain what it is that you want him/her to do in the future thereby setting up an expectation. Good Luck.

Answer 10

Believe me, I've been there. I can tell you there is no way you will win because blood is thicker than water. They will never forgive you for being assertive in this situation.
Even if they privately complain about this person, you will be the loser as you have found out.
Just ignore it or smile and that may make them angrier...
I feel for you though, because it is a true no win situation.