Knocked up and left alone.?

Question

I was dating a guy for about a year and got pregnant. I decided not to abort. I asked him for some help since I am a foreign student here with no family. He promised that he would help although he was dating me mainly because he wanted to "relieve himself". He stopped seeing me immediately, then stopped calling, and taking my calls..He does not help with anything.I am in my 9th month, suffering because of heat,loneliness fear for babys health and attacks of extreme anxiety.He does not think that he is acting improperly since he did not want the baby and it was my own decision to keep it.How can I explain him that he does owe me something?
How can I repay him for this and do I have the right to (after all who asked me to sleep with him?). For certain immigration reasons he might have serious problem if I take him to court he is also scared of loosing his reputation of a deeply catholic guy. Shall I take revenge or just accept charity he will give me after the baby is born?

Yes it was my decission not to abort. I was hoping to make it with my parents support. I was neither asking him for marriage nor to officially recognize the baby as his. I promised discretion (nobody on his side knows and he is scared to death they would find out) in return for help with everyday things throughout pregnancy and some emotional support, perhaps minor financial help as well. I think a man does owe that much to a women with whom he slept and whom he impregnated. Even though she did not do what he wished.

Answer 1

go apply for medical and monetary assistance and the state may pay for the medical-- and go after him for child support- next time use birth control-- and watch out for irresponible jerks- stay away from them- take care- db

Answer 2

Well, here's the thing. He is acting irresponsibly (as did you!). But you chose not to kill your child and he thinks that somehow gets him off the hook.

Whether he likes it or not he is responsible. And don't worry about his reputation of being deeply religious... it is obviously a false reputation anyway, since he has fathered a child out of wedlock.

Don't get revenge. Just take care of your baby and file for child support. He is responsible.

I am a father of 5 kids thru 2 marriages. My first wife and I had 3 kids. I had to pay child support for many years, but never once did I resent paying for my children. I saw it as my responsibility. I also considered the child support that I paid as a BARGAIN, for a life away from my crazy ex-wife.

Any guy worth his salt will pay child support and won't complain about it. Money is not the issue, being there for your kids is.

I'm sorry that you have landed in this situation and it must be very difficult for you.

Best of luck.

Answer 3

It's not taking revenge. It's called he needs to step up to the plate. Take his hind end to court for child support. You don't need to explain anything more to him. In fact, no more contact with him. File for child support, and let his lawyer deal with him. If he didn't want kids, he should have kept his pants on. However, he's not the only one responsible for you being pregnant. You get half of the blame.

His family needs to know he's gotten a girl pregnant. Catholic my hind end. If he was Catholic, he'd have stayed chaste until his wedding night. If he didn't want his family to know he got a girl pregnant, he shouldn't have been having sex. Who cares what he's afraid of? He's just a weenie, nothing more. I can promise you he won't give you one ounce of charity after the baby is born. You will have to take it to court. Good luck.

Answer 4

if he isnt giving you anything now, he wont give you anything after the baby is born. I would take him to court and make this a legal matter. You have a responsiblity to yourself and your baby. And its not a matter of revenge, its a matter of this is the right thing to do, for your innocent baby's life! Don't care about his rep or feelings, because he obviously doesnt care about you or his child. If he was a real man, he'd step up and take responsiblity. but since he wont, he's probably betting on your puny attitude that you wont start anything. Well start it sister.

Answer 5

Contact a lawyer. He's obligated to support his child (when it comes). Get it established by the courts. Forget the 'revenge' idea and do what's in the baby's best interests.

Answer 6

Not to say your crazy, but seeking a therapist will help you think things clearly. Most towns offer reduced or sliding fees to see a therapist. Therapy was the best thing I have ever done in my life.

I have reduced my stress by 50 percent since seeing one. Just remember its your goal & its what you what to achieve out of therapy (or your own life)

Best of luck.

Answer 7

Your and his baby whether he wanted it or not he is responsible to provide for this baby . start the paperwork declaring Paternity dndpaperwork to prove paternity on him and he will be forced to pay for this baby as long as he has a job it can be taken directly from his paycheck whether he wantto know this child or not.dont force yourself upon him have the courts make him take on his responsibilities

Answer 8

If you are in the United States, take him to court and they will make him pay child support.

Answer 9

"I" decided not to abort. And, you are seeking revenge (see Child Support mom does illegal things...).

What about your baby's health? Do you think they will hate their father just because you do?

Now, you have to deal with a whole life of concerns. Maybe adoption is a choice for you.

Please don't put that child in the middle of your misjudgments.

Answer 10

I hope it works out for you. Look into adoption and move on.

You are a foreign student, shouldn't you be here to get an education? I have friends who are waiting for their student visas.