My husband and I have been seperated for a few weeks now but I have to see him often because of our 3 yr old daughter.Well every time I see him he's all "Can we have sex","C'mon just a quickie","I miss having sex with you".It's starting to drive me crazy.We split up because we fight and argue too much and the only thing we had between us anymore was sex and he still thinks he's going to get it from me.When I complain that all he's ever wanted me for is sex he then says he loves me and wishes I was still around.I told him we have to work on our relationship and not just jump in bed together but it hasn't helped.He's always bugging me about doing it.Sending me texts and emails and it's really bad when I go to see our daughter.I just want him to stop badgering me about sex all the time.Any suggestions would be great.
2007-08-04 05:30:20 · 13 answers · asked by Sweetbear 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband gets my daughter every night when he gets off work.I have her during the day while he's at work then we switch on weekends he has her during the day while I have her at night.We're happy about the times we each have her.It's the issue about sex that bugs me.
2007-08-04 05:45:30 · update #1
soymissk8 hit it on the head in my opinion. a flat out and STRONG no. not even a tiny hint of possibility that you might. follow it with a simple statement that the relationship is responsible for the sex, not the other way around, and let him know without question that he can either work on the relationship or shut up, no other option with you on that particular issue.
2007-08-04 05:44:17 · answer #1 · answered by The Beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must not give into the sex requests. Why in the world would he be motivated to work on the real issues if you are giving it up, as if you both were leaving together. You are a prize, and he needs to earn you. Not have his cake and eat it to. You have a child involved. I hope that when he is texting you about the sex request he is also including the date and time of his next therapist appointment. Sounds like then just a split up, you both should try some marriage counseling to show that there is a true desire to keep you marriage. Just being seperated is not enough. If you could do it on your own, you would not be seperated to start with. It would have not gone this far already. Don't be the weak link. : )
2007-08-04 12:47:26 · answer #2 · answered by DONNA W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When it's time to pick up your daughter take someone with you that way sex would'nt come up. Don't be alone with him at anytime. Don't answer his emails. Maybe you can talk to your cellphone service provider about him texting you. If your not planning on working it out with him he has to know loud and clear that nothing will happen between the two of you and you might want to start thinking about divorce that maybe the defining moment for him.
2007-08-04 12:55:24 · answer #3 · answered by sheila j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) have you come to any conclusions as to if you want to get back together with him, or do you want to proceed to divorce court?
2) If you are hanging onto hope that your problems are going to work out, it would seem that he is not interested in working on the problems, or perhaps he doesn't see the problems as you see them.
3) I suggest that you stop accusing him of the "only want me for sex" thing and talk about the relationship. When you come on to him with the "all you want is..." angle, he will get defensive and not be where you need him to be for a talk.
4) If you cannot both go to a councilor, I suggest that you go....perhaps it will clarify the situation in your head, at least. Be very careful here...any councilor you see by yourself should NOT be a councilor you see as a couple...that would be unfair to him.
2007-08-04 12:36:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both of you still love each other, years of marriage will not end just for a few weeks. Talk to him before jumping into bed. Try to compromise, maybe your marriage is still on the stage of adjustment, couples usually experiencing. Try to communicate without arguing for the sake of your relationship and your daughter, she is still young and needs both a father and a mother. Give your best to save the relationship.
2007-08-04 12:43:56 · answer #5 · answered by alex y 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your relationship may have been based upon sex from the beginning. If that is all he can think about then I really don't think you have a chance of getting back together. Yes sex is very important in a relationship, but it isn't the ONLY important issue.
2007-08-04 12:35:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a third party to help by picking up and dropping off your daughter when it's your turn. That way, he won't get the opportunity to badger you. He will probably be mad at first but he'll get over it.
And don't reply to messages about sex. Ignore them. You'll have to communicate with him about your daughter but you can limit it to that. He'll figure it out eventually.
2007-08-04 12:37:26 · answer #7 · answered by banana6464 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not respond to him when he talks about sex. Act like he didn't say anything. He is trying to get a reaction out of you. Change the subject and talk about the weather, your daughter, etc.
Texts and e-mails are harassment. I would print them out or keep copies of them, if you divorce him you can use them against him.
Also, dress very boring and non-sexy when you see him.
2007-08-04 12:38:32 · answer #8 · answered by Summer B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a flat out no. Unless he is willing to fix the whole package, he doesn't get anything from you. Draw the line and make him see it. Get into some couples therapy and see if that helps.
2007-08-04 12:35:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let your husband know that you're not a sex toy.You're a human and a wife. The loser must understand that,if not, get a divorce.
2007-08-04 12:43:57 · answer #10 · answered by Mario Vinny D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋