i recently gotten a female pregnant while her husband was in iraq. since then she has only contacted me for food and stuff like that. her husband is back from iraq now and she barely talks to me except its when she needs something. i feel used and when i bring it up to her she never tells me what she really is feeling she just either side steps the question or doesnt answer what should i do? should i tell her to get one or should we have the child?
2007-08-04 04:55:21 · 27 answers · asked by alm1ty86 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
It's completely up to her. You can voice your opinions on the matter, but ultimately it's her choice.
2007-08-04 05:23:45 · answer #1 · answered by Chrissy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is legally married whoever she is married to at the time of birth is assumed to be the father and is the responsible party. If you want to claim paternity, that will have to be done thru DNA and the courts if she contests this. Has she told her husband? Are you wanting a relationship with this woman and the child. Do you want to raise a child with a women I assume you know only casually? And while I do understand how lonely it can be when a spouse is away for long periods of time, always remember, "If they do it with you, they will do it to you." So do you want a woman that you will never really trust to be faithful to you??? Does she have a decent marriage? Will the child be ok with them? Do you want the child? You can't make a women get an abortion cause you don't want to pay for or raise it.. Either get some questions answered within yourself and her, get involved with custody and help raise the child, or just tell her to work on her marriage and leave you out of it altogether. And BTW, use a condom to avoid this situation in the future, you don't sound ready to have a child at this time.... Don't believe what a women tells you about her birth control status, USE YOUR OWN!!!!!
2007-08-04 12:16:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would NOT tell her to get an abortion. Likely it will not sway her decision one way or another. What will influence her is what her and her husband decide to do and how they decide to handle things.
As someone else stated be prepared to pay child support, and depending on the state you live in, you may be obligated to help pay for some of the medical expenses associate with having/delivering the child.
To ensure you do all that is expected of you but also to ensure you don't get taken advantage of I would advise you to get a lawyer who specializes in family law if the woman decides to keep the child.
Good Luck.
2007-08-04 12:36:28 · answer #3 · answered by moonshadow418 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
abortion is forever remember that.. what you need to ask yourself is are you ready to be a father and does the husband know you are the father? If she is not going to tell the husband and not let you be a part of that child's life then you need to cut ties, but remember if you cut ties then you loose out on that child's life. And if it comes into play that she allows you to be a father and you are not with her remember child support has ruined many peoples life... when i say that i say it like this many women push child support yet the father doesn't get to see the child he is just an easy bank account for the woman. Abortion is an easy way out. Aren't you glad your mom didn't get an abortion? Seriously though you need to either cut ties and move on,or stand up for your child and take responsibility for your child and remember abortion is irreversible.
2007-08-04 12:08:27 · answer #4 · answered by daddy's girl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The choice to have an abortion is hers alone. You can tell her to get the abortion, but she doesn't have to do what you tell her to do. Be prepared to pay child support on this child, if she does have the baby. If you feel used then why don't you sit down and talk to her. Let her know how you feel. Good luck!
2007-08-04 12:01:42 · answer #5 · answered by Drea Z 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well depending on how far along she is, abortion is not an option. If you really want to have the child, you need to make her sit down and have a intelligent conversation with you. This is a sticky situation because she's married. How does her husband feel? Good luck.
2007-08-04 12:02:34 · answer #6 · answered by bernie2u4 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
first of all you have no right to tell her what to do with her body! You are both foul in my opinion. You knowingly slept with a married woman without protection i take it, and she cheated on her husband. How is she going to explain the pregnancy to her husband or is he simply that stupid? You can not tell this girl to get an abortion, its her choice but abortion is wrong, why should your unborn child have to suffer for your mistakes, that baby did not ask to be brought into this world, its not your right to decide to take it out.
Im sorry this has happened but hopefully you will learn from this, good luck!
2007-08-04 12:01:24 · answer #7 · answered by ana_bahebak1 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It seems to me like she no longer wants you to interfere with her life. Maybe you should back off now and let her and her husband decide what they choose to do.
And by the way, you should never "tell" a woman to get an abortion. 1) It's her body 2) At the most, you can suggest.
You did the deed and there's not going to be a whole lot of sympathy for your situation of committing adultery with a married woman while her husband risks his life.
If you play with fire, you're going to get burned.
2007-08-04 12:14:11 · answer #8 · answered by Marie Q 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A couple of things: why are you sleeping with another man's wife? Are you sure it is your child? If she is only calling you when she needs something, why are you doing it like a puppet? You need to have one more conversation with her about what she is going to do. If she decides not to have the baby, you need to let that be your last conversation. If she decides tohave it, she needs to tell her husband and you guys need to talk about how you are going to do this.
Good luck and stop sleeping with other people's wives. I would get a paternity test to be sure. If she is sleeping with you and cheating on her husband, there may be others.
2007-08-04 12:01:53 · answer #9 · answered by bk_mariposa 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
damn thats tuff situation. I would deff. NOT have an abortion. Has she told her husband she pregos? Does he know its not his? Are you sure its even yours? Are they planning on keeping it and raising it together or are you involved in the picture? How do you feel about being a dad or lettign someone else do your work as a dad for you? I would find out all ths stuff before the baby is born. Why should you feel used when she needs something, she is pregant with your baby?!
2007-08-04 12:04:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
It sounds like she either already had an abortion without telling you, or she's going to try and pass of the baby as her husband's.
2007-08-04 12:22:26 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋