New England Snobs?

Question

I am currently staying in Boston with my husband and 2 daughters, and we are from Alabama. Everywhere we go people are giving us horrendous looks, bad glances, dirty stares, rude treatment at restaurants, etc. We are headed to New York in 2 days to finish our trip. I am hoping we do not have the same, horrible time we had here in Boston. Is this becuase we are from the South and have accents different from theirs? And are all New Englanders this awful?

Answer 1

Sorry for your experience. I think you may be misunderstanding Bostonians. Also, if you are heading to NYC, you will receive the same reception.

Here is reality. People in the Northeast, in general, are not rude, they are reserved. They are not hospitable on the surface, but once you get to know them, they are fiercely loyal people.

It is a very fast-paced, no nonsense society and culture. People in the Northeast are very independent, even a little self righteous. Please understand that this is the culture. Under all that, the people in Northeast are very genuine.

Having said all that, I don't know how you presented yourselves. If you were "flaming" southerners, then you will get the looks, etc. If for nothing else, it is just Northerners way of letting you know that you are on their turf, not yours.

So, if you are wearing NASCAR t-shirts, and trying to talk to everyone, watch out!

Now, like everywhere, some people suck. You may have encountered some of these people. Let this role off your back. Also, if you come back with some sarcasm, people in the Northeast will show you some respect.

NYC can be brutal, so be prepared, but also understand that people in NYC are just real people. What you see is what you get. If you can hang with them, then you are cool no matter where you reside.

Have a great trip!

Hey Quakes, pissah answer except...

I didn't say the clothing issue was right, but it is what it is. If you don't like Boston, don't live there and don't bother visiting. I grew up in Boston and I have lived in NH, NYC, NJ, Virginia, and Chicago. I think I have a good perspective and I am keeping it real.

By the way, the people in NH, ME, and VT want you on their turf less than the people in Boston. In NH and VT you are a "flatlander", in ME you are "from away". On Martha's Vineyard you are a "wash ashore".

The difference between those states or places and Boston is that in Boston they say it all with their attitude. In NH, ME, VT, and RI, they will smile at you and then plot your demise once you turn your back.

Answer 2

Wow! I am so sorry you are having such an awful time in Boston.

However, we are called Mass-Holes for a reason. We are not the friendliest lot of people. To some, it may because you are Southern, and you are walking on our turf, but it also may be because your openly displaying your "Southern hospitality". Most New Englanders are reserved, professional, and just want to get from one place to another. Southerners (from the ones I've met) are almost overly friendly and talkative.

Here in Boston, and NYC as well, if you send a friendly smile to the person sitting across from you on the subway, you will not get a good response.

But for the most part, Sotherners are usually very friendly...and New Englanders aren't. The two cultures just don't mix well.

Hope you have a good time in NYC...and don't give up on Boston yet! Once you get to know us, we're not as "horrible and rude" as we seem.

Answer 3

I have never lived in the South, so I don't know how people there are really are. But from all the answers I have read above me, it looks people are a lot friendlier over there.

I moved to Boston 12 years ago and still live here. I don't think people here are unfriendly. I think we are just more reserved. I don't think you should take it personal.
I don't understand why you think people are giving you horrendous looks. People here tend to mind their own business, so that's a surprise to me.

It's the same here as NYC.

Think of it this way, are you here to make friends or rather explore the city? Have you tried the freedom trail, aquarium, JFK museum, Museum of Science and MFA? I am sure the workers in the places will be delighted to shown you around.

Answer 4

I really dont think you have to take it personally.... unless you were dirty, wore a hat that said, Im from Alabama, a shirt that said I love Boston and a light up flag, I highly doubt that these people were giving you dirty stares.

I lived in Boston for ten years, lived in Biloxi, Mississippi for one year, my boyfriend was from Tennessee, and now I live in NYC.

BFs parents said the same thing "New Englanders seem mean". But what they didnt understand is that, the horrendous looks, bad glances and rude treatment is NORMAL and isnt meant to be taken as such. Its the way of life up here. To be vague, direct and busy. Its faster, dirtier and louder up here, and people, including myself, are impatient and dont have time to admire anyone around me or sit around and chat. Doesnt mean Im not full of love. ;)

NYC is going to be more so of a rush, more so of people who will stare at you quite rudely, and people who do not want to talk to you.

Dont take it personally. You will find someone who isnt of too much in a rush and you will see we are just as nice as the southerners. just a different way of life.

:)

Answer 5

I've lived in Boston all my life, and I never heard of such treatment. I'm sorry you had to deal with that...generally I find Bostonians are pretty used to people travelling here from all over during the summer. I will say that we move at a very fast pace, and perhaps can be construed as being rude, when in fact it's just the frantic world we live in.

Answer 6

I'm from the south and i've visited boston before and loved it. Remember it is a city so people tend to rush a bit more. Also i'm assuming you are traveling to get a feel for other places and see whats out there. you can't be upset about a place just because the culture is different. Think about with new englanders come to your region..you think they are a little bit cold or rude...its just a different way of life. one guy said southerners give off fake and phony polite smiles and attitudes which i think its very untrue. if you meet a southerner who is polite...its just how most of us are...its not phony

Answer 7

I live in South Carolina, and in the past have lived in GA, TN, AL, TX and NC. I have the most mixed up Southern accent you can imagine. I travel heavily over North America and go to the Northeast regularly, Boston, NY, et al. My experience has been the opposite. I've been treated very well most everywhere I go. Major cities anywhere tend to have a faster pace, more reserved culture. you can find jerks anywhere, from the largest of cities to the smallest villages.

Answer 8

I lived in the Boston area for 7 years and couldn't wait to leave. I'd distinguish, though, between Northern New England (ME, VT, NH) which is gorgeous, and Southern New England (CT, RI, and MA).

It's Southern New England where I find people to be rude. I'm reading a lot of people who want to excuse the behavior as unfriendly, or "just they way we are", but it's more than just a "when in Rome" type of thing. I used to travel on business with Bostonians across the country monthly, and no matter where we travelled to (and no matter who I was travelling with), they would always rank on the city we were visiting because it wasn't Boston. Denver was too cold, or Miami was too flamboyount, or Santa Fe was too dry, or the beaches in Virginia weren't like the ones on the Cape. Many Bostonians that I found distasteful had superiority complexes about themselves and their city and this is what I think led to such appalling behaviour.

And to those who would blame you or others for how they dress, I had to dress professionally for work every day I communted in and I had the same looks, rude waiters, and horrible customer service. I saw people not give up a seat on the train for pregnant women or the elderly, as if the way they dressed justified the inhospitality.

Don't blame yourselves. You shouldn't have to encounter this anywhere you travel.

Answer 9

I don't think it's that people think they are rude. It's just they aren't friendly! LOL I know that sounds funny, but people from the South will talk to everyone and be out going, and ask and seem to care, even about strangers. In the Northeast, people are much more reserved and don't tend to talk to strangers as much. . .You'll find it just as much in Boston and NYC. . . .Besides, you might have just found a bunch of jerks. They're everywhere!

Answer 10

As other Answerers have pointed out, most Bostonians (and New Englanders and New Yorkers) are just more reserved and honest, and less tolerant of social hypocrisies. No, not quite that; I would say just that they are not the phony-smilies that one has in most of the rest of the USA, especially in the South, where one can never get past a supermarket check out without the clerk (obviously following their employers' directives) putting on a phony smile and asking "And how are you today?" (more smiles). Yet you have double and triple the rates of poverty and violent crimes.

Also, you may be dressing like Slobbus Casual Americanuses (is your attire what you would wear in Las Vegas or Orlando?) which is less acceptable in New England. Or, if you are real red state Bush-Cheney lovers, you may be wearing something that so suggests.