How do you feel about this saying.. :) ?

Question

"If you care, don't let them know, don't give yourself away"

Thank you for your answer! :) Have a wonderful weekend! :)

This is not about me, I'm just asking. It's from an old song :)

Answer 1

I don't feel good about it. It sounds selfish in a way.
Or is this like helping others in a secret way that you don't have to publicize it?..Is this about humility?
But then, can one care without giving himself away? It is somehow contradictory. If you care, then you're giving yourself away. It will be known to the recipient no matter what. It will be felt somehow. Care is just a word or thought that hangs there incomplete, and without use, unless one does the deed in its name. And once you act on care,..then you give yourself away.

Answer 2

That is a good question. When I was in middle and high school, I was picked on incessantly by just about everyone. I took my parents' advice and either ignored the remarks or just laughed along with everyone. I never let on how much it hurt, and no one, not even my parents knew how many times I shut myself in my room and cried. I don't know if it would have made things better or worse if I would have told people they were hurting me. Maybe some would have backed off, but I know others wouldn't have, and it might have gotten worse with them. I still deal with self-esteem and anger issues, and I'm sure it all goes back to the way I was treated in school. I wish there would have been someone I could have talked to about how I was feeling; maybe then it wouldn't have become such an issue.

Answer 3

It's very negative, but in some circumstances this kind of self-protective behavior is somewhat justified. It's not a matter of playing games or trying to control people. If some people know you care about them, they won't respect you (maybe because they don't really care for themselves enough), and then they will take advantage and there will be no long term relationship. In the end you'll end up caring about them a lot less. I never act like that myself, so I often get used by people close to me and it hurts.

I think it would be better to say: "If you care, let them know it, and let them know they can not use it to manipulate you." Would that be honest?

Answer 4

it would depend on the situation

if friends or family, then yes let them know

with others, say in a workplace, especially if some seem competitive or hostile, then often its best to not let them know, dont show your true feelings, as they may use that against you

i am in a situation with a new company, where i was the last one who "moved over" from another company, and i am the only white woman! so yes i received ridicule, criticism, etc that hurt, but i didnt let it show, they didnt think they were bothering/getting to me, so they slowly stopped, now i am at the point where they still observe, and sometimes will accuse me of having special favors, thinking i am different, i can look at them with a straight face and say, "well i am different, you made that obvious from the start" so i kept my cool, let them play it out, i didnt get into the drama of it all,

Answer 5

To be opinionated, it seems that vulnerability to the emotions should be avoided, because once you tell someone how you feel, you have a chance of being rejected or laughed at instead of being understood or accepted, so that you can reveal yourself. Giving away secrets or feelings is giving yourself away, maybe.

But it all depends on the trust you have in the person you confide with.

Answer 6

It depends on whether you are talking about a bully or a potential friend. Don't let the bully know you care; do let the potential friend know. But even there, of course, there are limits. Discretion and diplomacy are necessary. Don't throw yourself on someone who is interested in no more than an intellectual relationship.

Answer 7

I don't know the song, so maybe in context, I'd understand it better. If it means "care" in a positive way, I'd hate to think I'd care about someone who would respond mean-spiritedly, & I'd never fear rejection. "Don't give yourself away" sounds awfully on guard & insecure, to me.
If it were negative, like someone trying to give me a bad time, it just wouldn't happen because I wouldn't care about that in the first place.
I think it would be a much better life if people expressed their (nice) feeling to others. "Don't let them know"??? Well, as I said, I don't know the song!.......

Answer 8

Well, no matter how you feel about it, always remember that the one man band, from the quick lunch stand, was playing real good for free,

Oh, and when it all comes down to it "I don't know who I am, but life is for learning."

I'm going back to the garden now and wait for a Chelsea morning to put me into dreamland, where I can drift off into the Blue and meditate on the hissing of summer lawns.

Answer 9

It's paranoid stupidity, dear Moon, don't you agree? What kind of relationship, with themselves or others, could anyone ever have with that saying to restrict them. It's an outrageous denial of the dignity of every individual, and humanity at large, I reckon. It makes my heart bleed. But I know some poor sods live that way, in more ways than one. They need kind nurturing. Go for it, say I ! Gently, of course.

Answer 10

The saying is practically xenophobic!
The way to 'love' is by having thicker and thicker shells so nobody shares their heart with another?
Rubbish!
Protectionism is not a pathway to Love or a well lived life.
Trust must be earned and cherished in our relationships with others and ourselves, not mis-trust!
.