Im writing a new poem about the war in Iraq and Afgan..I want your help so I'll give the first few line..

Question

Its called, A Soldiers Way..........
Where are you America I long to be ,
My wonderful home across the sea ,
Where is my home I can no longer see
Where all my friends are waiting for me.
I miss you all so very much....

Answer 1

And long to feel a tender touch.
if i should die along the way,
remember me with these words i say.
world peace will come one day.

Answer 2

Martin, one lesson you may as well learn now is that a poem will always benefit from "knowing"...in other words, the poet produces better poems when the poet "knows" the subject. I get a sense, and I could be wrong, that you only imagine you know what it's like to be in Iraq and/or Afganistan...and if this is the case, you probably should not be writing about the war in Iraq and Afganistan. Why? Because those who have been there will be able to tell that you have not been there and no matter how balanced your poem may be, no matter how well crafted it may be, it will in fact be "supposition" and will be treated by many as a trite, insincere insult to what they've endured and sacrificed. If you want to write a poem about either conflict, then write about how "you" feel about someone that's over there, or about how you don't really know what's going on over there...because trust me on this, if you have not been over there, you DON'T know what's going on. I know, I've been there, and I can tell you that what you hear on the evening news, in the papers, in magazines and on talk shows is far from what is really going on over there. If you want to support the troops, do so by honoring their service, which means giving them the benefit of the doubt and trusting that they are honorable men and women who are risking their lives because of what "they" believe in.

If, on the other hand, you "Have" been there, then don't write in such a stilted manner. Write about what you feel, what it was like. I know of no soldier, sailor, marine or airman that would have written those lines in your poem. It isn't the way they are focused right now.

You have a good heart, write about something you really know about, that is what they're fighting for...your freedom to express what "you" really feel.

and by all means...keep writing

Answer 3

Good Luck with it but personally I don't think that the first line scans!
How about. "In America, I long to be!

Answer 4

....Especially the reruns of Starsky and Hutch

Answer 5

sorry, I do not understand your question

Answer 6

Please remember to keep in touch. The End.

Answer 7

especially mama, you're so butch!!!!!!!!!!!