He has moved out. He thinks he functuctions better alone. he wants to be my friend and lover still. does it sound like someone who really wants a divorce?
2007-08-04 02:21:43 · 17 answers · asked by Lisa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
your lucky i wish i would of left after one year
i hate my ex and i stayed for 8
2007-08-04 02:24:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
YOu need to stop acting like a lap dog and TAKE CONTROL OF THE SITUATION. Yeah, you can't control what he does but you should be able to control what happens in your life.
Tell hubby you don't work in a detached relationship where you can't talk and discuss problems with your hubby, and that being a lover means you go to bed with each other to celebrate your feelings and the efforts you put forth that day toward your relationship.
Tell hubby you didn't marry him to be an operating location, so he should remember to take everything of his when he leaves.
Note: If you are incapable of making a living on your own and are totally dependent on him for livelihood, then disregard this information.
Good Luck
2007-08-04 09:44:46 · answer #2 · answered by snvffy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's right, some people are just more comfortable as loners. I should know coz Im one, he will always need more alone time than you, there are women who are the same way, and again I know coz Ive met a few. Marriage is not for everyone doll, im sure he's just being honest with you. Oh and before everyone gets on to thier " have his cake and eat it too" remarks, whats the use of having a cake if you cant eat it?
2007-08-04 09:31:07 · answer #3 · answered by bfunkmystic 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
probably,it sounds like he cant handle the pressure of being married and wants to return to where he feels comfortable (his comfort zone) where he doesnt feel trapped and can come and go as he pleases but wthout all the responsibility and committment. But with all this said and done,it still comes down to what exactly do you want, are you willing to live under his conditions,and his terms, etc.? This is not an equal relationship so no one can blame you if you dont want to stay in it. Good luck
2007-08-04 09:38:07 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a man who wants his cake and to eat it too. He wants his freedom but he wants to keep you emotionally tied to him by being friends and sleeping with you? Do not sell yourself short, he's about a selfish as they get. If he is not willing to go to counselling to try and save your marriage I'd cut him loose and move on.
I did the friends with privileges bit, I moved to another city. When the guy was in town he'd visit etc. I was told at one point, I'd gotten to know a few men though not even dating, that if I was unfaithful he' d kill me (not really, just an expression). So essentially he wanted me faithful, available and stuck in my life. It wasn't fair to me. I finally did tell him, either you want me permanently in your life or hit the road. We've been back together for the last 8 years.
This kind of behaviour really screws with a persons head. Set some boundaries and stick too them.
Good Luck.
2007-08-04 09:35:18 · answer #5 · answered by Choqs 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is it always considered the guys' fault? You sound like an overbearing person. Why else would the guy need to be alone/away from you after only a year. Maybe you need to check out what you did wrong. Shouldn't husbands have rights too? Or is it suppose to be all about the wife's needs?
2007-08-04 09:28:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
If he doesn't want to live with you then he doesn't need sex from you either. That is getting his cake and eating it too. If he can't work on the relationship in the next few months you need to move on. You might want to try couple counseling also. Sometimes it is hard going from living alone to living as a couple but, you should be willing to work on it.
2007-08-04 09:27:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well I would give him his space and not have contact with him. Let him find out just what it is he really wants. Tell him what you are doing, so he knows you have not just stopped loving him..but then have no contact, till he contacts you first. You are lucky it has only been 1 year, it would be worse if had been longer.. Good luck. I hope it works out well for you both.
2007-08-04 09:28:57 · answer #8 · answered by lynda 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Count it a joy that you did not invest years and years with a person who can not appreciate or love you in a manner you deserve. In spite of smile when you are outside of your home until it becomes natural again. Many people have been through this and it is devasting initially but the crisis will pass and you will function fully again. Now smile- bigger and tell yourself all the good qualities of yourself. Write them and read them daily. His lost, huh?
2007-08-04 09:28:48 · answer #9 · answered by Dawnita R 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some people do function better alone.
You have to decide if that kind of relationship works for you.
2007-08-04 09:36:44 · answer #10 · answered by andijxo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably just can't stand living with you. I'm assuming you didn't live together first. That's fine. Not everyone is suited to have a room mate. A growing number of couples actually live seperately and stay married in every other way.
2007-08-04 09:26:58 · answer #11 · answered by skunk pie 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋