Is it possible for gays to be Monogamy?

Question

My gay friends who are attached seems to have affiar outside of their relationship. Meeting ONS.. etc. i just seriously ponder, is it possible? for 2 serious man, to be faithful? Is it possible?????

My gay friends who are attached seems to have affiar outside of their relationship. Meeting ONS.. etc. i just seriously ponder, is it possible? for 2 serious man, to be faithful? Is it possible?????.

if Possible, then WHY are so many having affairs? :( so, am i day dreaming.... ?

Answer 1

sure it's possible, and it happens with many gay couples. But, you have to understand though, we are not heteros.....there are some differences in our relationships. First of all..it's two MEN. This makes things different.

Men, generally speaking, have a much easier time seperating sex and emotions, so that in itself is going to lead to an increase in sex outside of relationships, in my opinion.

And because of this, gay couples need to share the same vision of what a "committed relationship" is. For some it may be different than others. And if so, it's important both know, and even set up some rules and bounderies that allow for a bit more flexibility than the standard hetero relationship.

There are many gay couple who are in the traditional relationship. There are many who are not. But, in both cases, a truly loving relationship can exist, as long as both share the same vision of what a committed relationship is.

One last thing, a gay couples rules may change too over time. Maybe start out as more of an "open relationship" and then over time become an "exclusive" relationship.

There is just more room for flexibility in our relationships, but it's important both partners are on the same page and can discuss openly with each other.

Answer 2

Of course they can..

I am 44 and have been in three long term relationships and have never strayed outside of the relationships..I broke up with them because they strayed and I cannot stay with someone who I cannot trust and I won't stay with someone out of desperation.

The gay community will have you believe that two men cannot be monogamous..I have heard every dumb justification under the sun by other gay men;

1)A relationship can only last if you keep it exciting and allow others in sexually.
2) Men are like monkeys and are naturally promiscuos.
3) We are different than heterosexuals, which means that our relationships are different and sleeping around is normal.

etc, etc..

I have always kept hope alive by thing this:

If I believe that two men can be monogamous, then there must be someone else on the planet who feels the same way..

don't listen to your friends..they are just trying to make excuses for their actions...

Answer 3

Yes it is possible and very common for gays to be monogamous. Some estimates are that the incidence of monogamy amongst gays is higher than that of heterosexuals.

Also, what if you turned this question around? What you are asking here is assuming that heterosexual couples are more monogamous than gay couples, yet study after study has shown that about 40% of heterosexual men and 33% of heterosexual women have cheated, or are cheating on their significant other.

Based on this, how can gays be any worse?

Answer 4

All gay people are hampered in their efforts to have monogamous relationships because they cannot legally marry in most of the US, and where marriage is possible, federal benefits do not accrue to married or non-married gay couples. Many families do not support the sacred unions of their kin, some disowning them outright. Where do gay couples go for Christmas dinner if their relationship is not supported by their family? Many churches refuse lesbian/gay marriage ceremonies. Gay couples may not have the resources to take advantage of churches that do perform religious marriage ceremonies. There is no built-in support like a straight couple gets when a divorce is announced. It's just a matter of packing boxes and moving out. Income tax incentives, spousal benefits from Social Security, and the entire American healthcare system negate monogamous gay relationships. You have to have the money to complete a healthcare power of attorney to see your partner in the hospital and to make critical life-and-death decisions that are routinely made, by default, by heterosexual married couples. In many jurisdictions, gays can't adopt. If adoption occurs in a gay relationship, there are no universal protections for both parents.

You also completely neglect the number of affairs that go on in heterosexual relationships. Thus, your question is based on a flawed asumption.

Answer 5

Yes, gays can be faithful.

Those that aren't may not be happy with their current relationship, or they may believe that they have a right to explore other 'territories", so to speak. Doesn't mean all are like that.

Besides that, think of it this way: How many STRAIGHT couples cheat on each other...both men and women?

Fact is, it's not the gender preference that creates cheaters. It's the person themselves. We all have free will and some are just freer than others...gay and non-gay alike.

Answer 6

It is possible for a gay man or woman to be monogamous. Just like it is possible for a straight man or woman to be monogamous.

Polygamy usually affects men more than women that is why it is more noticed in Gay men. Most gay couples are, however, faithful.

Answer 7

yes, it is possible, but it is very hard...

those affair might because part of gay are actually sex beast ( sorry no offense) and they actually will want to have sex with any men that look appeal to them, no matter u str8 or gay, they will just give it a shot like " hey, i'm gay, would you like to have sex with me? ". question like this will turn str8 off, but gay will actually at least turn on a lil bit... there really too many attraction out there, and sometimes, gay still can hold off, but sometimes... or should i say most of the time, lol... they will fall for that attraction...

i would said gay are more toward open relationship, which 2 come close together for long term, and both that agree it is ok to have affair out there...

but it is still possible for monogamous relationship for gay...

hope it help,

cheer~

Answer 8

While I do not think there is any statistical evidence it does seam to me that some strengths are just as unfaithful as some Gay folks are. Why would you hold us to a higher standard? I do think that Gay relationships brake up easier than Straights. One more good reason for Gay marriage!

Answer 9

It absolutely is possible for gay guys to be monogamous. Don't group them all in together. I hear straight people talking about who they picked up at the bar etc, but I don't make an assumption that all straight people sleep around. There are monogamous gay and straight people AND gay and stragiht people who sleep around.

Answer 10

Us 'gays' as you so whimisically refered to us, are perfectly capable of monogamy, thanks! I could ask the same about 'straights', but I know it's possible therefore I don't ask.

Look at Elton John. Perfect example. Happily involved and now married. Look at the men living down the street from me. Together nearly fifteen years. It's entirely possible.