I am a soldier and I have been deployed for a while now and only now is my wife saying something about divorce. She says of course that she is willing to try and work things out with me. At times it does not seem that she is trying or listening to my side, but that happens considering she has AD/HD. She has made it clear as to the areas in my life that I need to work on and I have worked on them. Some even before she told me that I needed to because I saw that I needed to work on them. But since I am not with her during my changes, she is unable to see these changes. I even told her the areas in her life that I thought she could work on and when talking to her on the phone and even in the emails I see that she is improving. I have only noticed in the last few phone calls that she seems a bit nervous and anxious. So my question is....
Is it normal for a wife of a soldier to feel a bit of doubt in the marraige during long periods away from each other?
2007-08-03 22:23:33 · 18 answers · asked by kataklysmkamel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I cant believe what I just read from skunk pie~!!!! WTF!!! First off, if you cant stand behind our troops...please feel free to stand in front of them. How dare you!
2007-08-11 16:10:51 · answer #1 · answered by Jenn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
skunk pie needs to be more respectful. First off, thank you for your service to our country. Second, your wife is having doubts because you're "never there"...it sucks and it's an all too common complaint among military wives. Some just up and leave, it takes a very strong and independent woman to be able to go on day after day knowing that her loved one is in harm's way. Some can't take the pressure, others succomb to the loneliness...I personally can't imagine how hard it must be, for either of you.
I hope you get to come home soon.
2007-08-04 00:31:00 · answer #2 · answered by vamedic4 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Separations are tough, and military separations that can go on for 12 to 15 months have to have an awful lot of glue to keep them together. Of course it is normal for a wife of a soldier to feel doubts when she is married to an absent partner. Although she knew you were a soldier when she married you, it is still your job and your choice of job that is keeping you apart. That in itself, can make a girl feel angry and powerless. You will just have to keep talking and tell her how much you miss her and see if she says the same thing. Ask her what she wants to do when you get home and listen to what she says. Is she in school or building a career for herself? you can't expect her to just sit on post and go to the commissary and be happy. Is she involved in the family readiness activities? All of those things can help her to fill her time productively and keep her connected to you.
2007-08-09 17:57:24 · answer #3 · answered by Mama Mia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES. It is called being lonely. I married a marine. It takes a special woman to marry a man in the service. But also when a woman dates a man wo is in the service she knows what she is getting into. Yes you men are difficult at times but so are women. We don't like to admit when we are wrong or even when we are scared. I give you points though for trying that takes a REAL man to try and work out his marriage and to admit that he has flaws. I think she is just scared. Give it time and please be patient you are a good man.
2007-08-09 16:19:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-13 22:27:42 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi it sounds like you guys need to spend some together time, so you can build up her confidence in your marriage and make plans for the future, reassure her that their is a life for the two of you aside from you being away, make some comprimises, keep communicating, good luck, she is prob just lonely...
2007-08-04 00:41:42 · answer #6 · answered by misstth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely. Outside of the fact that you are constantly in danger, she could worry that you may develop an affection for someone else. But even so, without being sure of you and your attachment to her, that could also strengthen doubts.
Just keep doing what you are doing and pray. I wish you the best of luck!
2007-08-11 13:10:04 · answer #7 · answered by Diane T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think so. Time apart is rough and my heart goes out to you. I think you need to say that to her. Don't be so quick to rush to judgment. Tell her to wait until you come back and can spend time together. Do your best to reassure her. She may be feeling anxious, depressed, worried, and not sure what to do or even what to think.
2007-08-10 06:29:33 · answer #8 · answered by Unsub29 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately yes.It's just i have watched so many talk shows and heard so many stories about army family's breaking up,that i think it is normal.I really don't know why.I am sorry,i hope you guys work things out.
2007-08-11 19:14:02 · answer #9 · answered by avavu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well It's normal to be lonely but not normal to bring up divorce because you are lonely and your spouse is serving our country!
Thank you for keeping us safe! Come home soon!
2007-08-10 09:03:24 · answer #10 · answered by Pixie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is. Try to built her confidence. Tell her about your dependencies of job etc. etc. Just don't become rude when she ask any thing arrogant for you. Try to convince her.
2007-08-03 22:36:19 · answer #11 · answered by skjolly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋