Should i feel guilty about not telling my parents what some of my plans are(plz read on)??

Question

my parents have no idea about what some of my interests are. i hope you dont think im weird but i want to marry a British man someday. i already told my parents that ill be going to England someday, but i didnt tell them all the reasons why. i didnt tell them that i am going to look for romance, a new begnning, and a bf who i would like to become my husband. if i told them, im afraid of what they will say. my parents are very strict with me and i have a feeling that if i told them all my reasons for wanting to go to the uk, they would prohibit me from going. i come from a conservative culture and its not common for a girl like me to like such guys. most girls that are from my culture are expected to marry a guy from the same culture. i dont want to!! i want to experience marrying someone from a very different culture to mine. i want to choose a british guy. if i told my parents, i dont know what they would say. im scared. ive decided im not going to tell them. should i feel bad??

im not going to get married right away, first ill find a british bf and then i want to wait a while before i would marry him.

well, im 17 and they wont let me date again for now. and if they wouldnt want me to go to the uk even though ill be 18 soon, i know they would find a way to stop me, thats also why i dont want to tell them.

Answer 1

ok first off you shouldnt feel bad, your parents should if they will prohibit you from living your life. second, you dont have to tell them what all of your reasons are. like i said its your life. in the UK there are good career oppertunities and plenty of nice blokes (plenty of idiots too but as a girl you know that men are like that generally anyway). keeping secrets is fine as long as it doesnt destroy you. if you seriously cannot cope with keeping this secret then maybe tell another person who you trust with authority thats not your parents. if this doent work then you may consider talking to them yourself. tehy may be understanding but many parents are hot headed and one track minded, they like things their way. but when you get to a certain age then theres nothing they can do to stop you from coming to the uk. so either way you will be in the country at some point in your life. me however would try and avoid talking to them if i could. yes lying is bad but if its your dream to start a new life here then no one should snad in the way of that
good luck love

Answer 2

Well, that depends. There are advantages to living with parents until u get all established. But then sometimes u just gotta go. How old are u? If u are under 18yo, I would think hard about this and maybe wait till u are older. If u are 18yo or more, u should be fine movin out. Just tell em plain up that u are now an adult, responsible for yourself, and it's time for your life to be separate from theirs. I think most parents will accept that (maybe not right at the moment u say it, but for sure later on). And since you're close, u can visit frequently and let em know that u still love em and all that stuff. Think hard about it. Think of what the advantages and disadvantages are. Think hard about the reasons u want to move out too. If it's just some argument that will pass, maybe some time passing will change your mind. And then of course (depending on the attitude of your parents of course) you can always return if u find u made a mistake by moving out. Anyhow good luck to ya.

Answer 3

Well honey.. accdg to me, i feel u are too young, ur goals are right upto the mark.. thats nice.. but leme point out that, at ur age, people usually have their first love as THE ONE phenomenon.. ultimate marriage partner. But it really does not work that way. Its rare that people get married to their first love. I feel there is enough of time for you to experience first & then think about marrying & with whom so ever. Culture, caste, ur parents involvement all makes a difference. Accdg to me, i feel u shudnt involve ur parents in it coz it simply wudnt be understood by them. Take it easy, else u mite end up with someone who u wudnt have been in the first place. Proly ur experience with pl from europe is good, keep it that way.. but maybe u dont know also, canadians, indians, or even austrialians do carry symbols of love.. ;) tc

Answer 4

All I would say is please dont build up some sort of idea about british men, you will probably be disappointed. There isnt one sort of man here, there are men with many personalities just as there are in your own country. I think you are more in love with the idea of marrying a british man and i think the reality will be different. have you thought about the cultural differences between the both of you? he might not understand the way you are! what about trying to find a man in you own country who like the idea of traveling and seeing other countries?

Answer 5

I don't think you should feel bad,but I don't think you should pin point your available bachelors to one country. Its cool you want to marry out side of your culture,but British only that might be hard. I am afraid you might marry someone for the wrong reasons.Well just go and when you find the guy bring him home before you go marrying him.

Answer 6

That sounds like a fabulous plan. Many people share the same plans as you. Some people dream of going to France to meet a nice french guy with a cool accent. Stuff like that, you know?? You shouldnt feel guilty at all. Dont worry about it.

Good Luck with your plans!

Answer 7

i also want to marry a british guy..
oooh their accent is beautiful and their so romantic and know how to treat women..girl i def agree with u....
however, i come from a very and imean a very conservative family too..gees im 22 and they dont even let me date....
but guess what i told them bout my plans...
i acted like i was playin about it, but i meant it..
i wanted to let it out so i said it to my folks...they werent too happy bout it, but i have convinced them slowly but surely bc i have seen girls of the same culture marrying guys of the same culture and ended unhappy bc their husbands r ignorant and too conservative, so my parents since they want my best are having second thoughts, LOL

Answer 8

You shouldnt feel bad!!w ell to me darlin just telling them you are going to the UK would be enough. They dont have to know your plans and social life 24/7. You should have your freedom and pick whoever you like! Nobody can stop you, Just dont tell them or they would get angry!!

Answer 9

Please do not predetermine the sort of guy you will one day marry.
Suppose you fall in love with an American, or someone from your own culture. Would you deny your feelings just because he was not a Brit?
Take life as it comes. There is plenty of time.
Either way, I wish you well in your travels and your future.

Answer 10

Tell them anything and everything. They are your only parents. Love and respect them with the truth. Can I ask you a question?

Why would you ever want to set limits on yourself. Life will do a fine job of doing that for you. You only further handicap yourself by self imposing limitations.