should i be mad?

Question

my husband and i decided to quit smoking 4 months ago because we found out i was pregnant. i went cold turkey when i found out and took him at least 3 months to completly quit. so i thought. since the time he said he quit i still benn smelling smoke on him. just not as strong. and in his car but i blamed it on the smell stuck on the interior. but i found 2 packs of cigarattes in his car. meaning when i ask him about his smoking and tells he quit, he's been lying to me. i know its hard to quit but its scary that he's such a good lier. should i be mad at him?

Answer 1

I think since I know it is hard I would be more disappointed than mad, that he would have to sneak a smoke instead just saying it's too hard.

Answer 2

I would be mad at him for lying but part of me would be happy that he is still making a valiant effort to try to quit for the health of your family. Think about all the time he is not smoking that normally he would be smoking?? Now, maybe it is time to sit down with him and his stash of smokes for a heart to heart discussion on honesty. Don't look at it as complete failure because he obviously is really trying to quit for you and the baby or he would not be trying so hard to hide it. No one likes lying and it is hard to cover lies!! He probably breaks a sweat every time he has to lie to you. Make a pact that every time he breaks down and buys a pack of smokes that he puts $10 in a bank for the baby where he can see how much his habit is truly costing him as your belly grows. Hiding it is not the answer. Showing the expense, seeing the health danger, noticing the difference in the smell of the clothing, your home, your car, and the air is the important things he needs to truly understand. Second hand smoke is far worse to breathe in than first hand smoke. That is why cancer and allergies are so prevalent even though the overall number of smokers are continually declining over the years. Let him know it is something you want to help him with for all your health not just his.

Answer 3

Yes and no. Look my friend , people much stronger than your husband has tried and failed to quit smoking. Should you be angry at him because he failed and didn't want you to know that this terrible addiction still has him within its grips. His guilt is already killing him . You should rather be angry at the tobacco companies that are killing more people daily than any war that has ever been fought. You should also realize that the harder that he tries to quit the harder the cigarette companies compel him to continue to smoke. You quit, good , but clime down off your high horse and show some support. I seriously doubt that you would have quit so easily if you weren't pregnant. All the chemical ingredients in cigarettes are there to guarantee that you'll continue to smoke , not quit. You need to work as a team to get through this , that way your entire family wins not just you. Congratulation on your pregnancy, I hope your child is born healthy and never smokes a cigarette in his / her life. Good luck.

Answer 4

Not all smokers will quit smoking cold turkey like you. Some smokers take longer to quit because it is a hard habit to quit, especially if they've been smoking for such a long time. If you both made an agreement to quit, then you both should have stuck to it. Yes, he lied to you, because it is harder for him to quit then it was for you. So, he had to lie to you about it to cover up his tracks. Still shouldn't have been used as an excuse to lie. You should be disappointed more than being mad or upset with him. Even though he lied to you, he is still trying to quit.

Since you already know that he lied to you, you need to let him know that he needs to be up front with you and start being honest with you as well. If he can't quit smoking, he shouldn't have to hide it. Anotherwards, he should tell you the truth, by letting you know that it will take him longer to quit and you need to be there for him no matter how hard it gets

Also, if he is having a hard time quiting smoking, then you need to be supportive of him of him trying to quit. He should try getting some professional help to help him as well. It will not be easy. Just let him know that he needs for now on, to be honest with you, otherwise, he needs to take his smoking outside.

Answer 5

You have the right to be mad because your husband did not keep his word. But should you really be mad? I don't think so. Your anger might affect your baby. I suggest that you talk to your husband about it. Maybe, he does not fully understand the effects of smoking to your baby. Or, you can let him smoke, but not around you, in the house, in the car, or anywhere that you'll be able to smell it. Make him take a shower before he gets close to you or something. If he really can't stop it, just make limitations.

Answer 6

You know how hard it is to quit, he probably didn't want to tell you he couldn't do it, because he doesn't want you to start again for the baby's sake. You should tell him that you know he is still smoking and ask him not to do it around you, like in the house and car where you have to smell it. Be strong for him and stay quit. Let him see that it can be done. Encourage him, don't critize him.

Answer 7

I would be crazy mad. Cigarettes are bad for baby and you. It increases the risk of SIDS and so on. If he said he would never quit and you were on your own, that would be a different story, but since he lied to you, the trust has been broken. Confront and talk to him about how his lying made you feel. Smoking is a killer addiction.

Answer 8

Pshh yeahh. When a man lies, he lies. I know it's probably really hard to quit smoking, but he probably been smoking the whole timee. He probably took some mint pills or something to clear the smell. He's probably been lying alot of stuff before too. Confront him because he was smoking when you decided to give up. So you should TOTALLY be mad at him.

Answer 9

Be sympathetic because you know how hard it is to quit. He doesn't want to disappoint you but I think that having a baby inside of you has made it easier for you to go cold turkey, he didn't have as much motivation as you had. I wouldn't be angry at him just sit down and have a talk about how important it is for your family's health and be very supportive

Answer 10

Don't be mad. Tell him you don't appreciate the lying and that you understand and it's ok he failed at his attempt to quit. It's not an evil lie, he didn't want to let you down, because he know's you HAD to quit and he was just trying to be supportive. A person needs to quit a vice like that on their own accord or they'll be doomed to fail.