i have been married almost 11yrs but have been seperated almost 3yrs and living with someone else but i'm still desperately in love with my husband and want him back but now all though we are still married he now has a seriuos girlfriend who is very sweet and kind and we would probably be bestfriends in a different situation... my husband does not want a divorce at this time but i'm afraid it's just a matter of time all though he still tells me he loves me... any suggestions on what i can do?
2007-08-03 18:26:29 · 20 answers · asked by kimmycatsmom 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Other than get rid of the other guy, drop to your knees in front of your husband and beg for him to come back to you? Nothing.
If he still says no, well.... tell other women looking for greener pastures your story. Maybe you can help stop other people from ruining their marriages.
2007-08-03 18:30:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you can get back together if you are living with another guy. Can you find a place of your own or live with family - female friends, etc? Try and plan dinner with him just the 2 of you so you can talk. You need to talk about how you truly feel about each other. The longer he has a gf and you have a live in bf the harder it will be to get back together. Tell him how you feel - that you want to be back together and give him specific reasons why - you were happy together, you did fun things, etc. He needs to hear this and you need to hear what he feels then you both need to make a decision. If your not getting back together than you should agree to get divorced. It's now or never... don't let him think that he can have fun with this other women and still have a chance to get back with you some time down the road.
decisions - decisions...
Good luck
2007-08-04 01:35:49 · answer #2 · answered by Champ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say you are in a real kowinkidink, I do not understand how people can be married in the eyes of God and live with another as husband and wife, that is a real nono in my world and I am NOT a prude, it is just plain old bad juju.
You need to be true to yourself, your live in and your husband and his live in. Someone needs to push the envelope.
If I were you I would go ahead and file for divorce, that may, or may not bring your husband to the reality that he is truly losing you, then he may either step out of his current situation and come home, or he may say, great, I just did not want to be the one to do it. Either way, you can get on with your lives. I hope there are no children involved, they see and understand more than you think. Even if he did come home, would you trust him to not go visit his old friend again, that would always be on the back of my mind....and the same for him thinking about you and your friend...you both have really pushed the trust factor in your marriage to a very strained point. I would suggest counseling.
2007-08-04 01:35:35 · answer #3 · answered by Ozark Woman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, let him go....that might just be the wake up call that he needs to come back, since U are still married! Why did U accept the separation in the first place? We love, but if U all really wanted to work it out, don't U think that U would have tried a lot harder by now, 3 years later?
Good Luck with what U choose to DO!!
:)
2007-08-04 01:31:29 · answer #4 · answered by SuasGirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are u living with someone else if u love ur hubby?
sounds like u may be jealous of the g/f...?
maybe he has never found the right lady to get a divorce.. and now.. he may come up with it, and u are scared..
sure he is gonna say he loves u... what do u expect? he is a man, remember?
suggestions..
ask ur hubby.. if he really still loves u,, and if he would like to get back together.. he may laugh in ur face, just because he can.. but if he says yes...
then tell him to prove it.. by the two of you getting a place together.. immediately..
any excuses.. means he is a liar..
and u just lost out... u will have to make do with the bed u are lying in.... after all u make it...
2007-08-04 01:40:06 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ Blondie ♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is really strange, it's like you guys are testing out other people while you are still married to see if you find someone better. Either you take marriage seriously and try to make it work, or you just divorce and stop playing games. I don't see how his girlfriend would want to be with a married man and vice versa with your boyfriend. Tell your husband how you feel and make it work, if he is still unsure, make the divorce final.
2007-08-04 01:35:36 · answer #6 · answered by Vegas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
basically you and your husband had a reason for leaving eachother. have you fixed what broke the 2 of you? second straight up tell him before the both of you get to deeply involved with others. and if he says no then thats your sign to move on and get over it . and if thats the case try not to think of the 11 years as a waste, just take what you have learned and let that help you grow. hope i helped
2007-08-04 01:48:56 · answer #7 · answered by solas lethe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Saying he still loves you is not the same as being in love with you. I think you should let him go and move on, wasn't that the purpose of the separation. After 3 years you haven't moved any closer so cut the ties.
2007-08-04 01:42:06 · answer #8 · answered by sara r 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depending on your relationship with your husband, i would start by telling him your true feelings. remember, you have 11+ years of sharing your lives. If you really think that the seperation is a huge mistake, then he has to know how you feel. why wait for his feelings for her grow and grow until its definatly too late and makes the divorce final. good luck lady.
2007-08-04 01:34:06 · answer #9 · answered by jmckeever9696 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a mess-if he really loved you he would drop his other girlfriend and come back its that simple.Get a divorce and go on with your life right now you are stuck and will continue to be until you do something.
2007-08-04 01:32:43 · answer #10 · answered by dove2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋