should 2 people stay together because they have kids?

Answer 1

It depends on the circumstances.. in abuse- no way.. infidelity - perhaps, if the couple is willing to work it out.. for general "I'm unhappy", "I'm bored" , etc.. yes.. they should try to find their way back to each other and if necessary, go to counseling..

When I was there, my main question continually was "Is this what is best for my daughter..?" There were times when I easily said, "Yes, staying is best for her." There were times when it was balanced.. but when I knew beyond all doubt that the marriage was hurting her worse than the divorce could.. I left and divorced her father..

Divorce should be a last resort and not the first..

Answer 2

It beats divorcing because they have kids.

Kary's right that people are too quick to cut and run. While it's true that living with anger and resentment is awful for kids (My parents stayed together and that was my life) it's pretty foolish to think that the anger and resentment won't be there after a divorce.

Duh! How many people have you seen who said, "We're just not happy. It's no one's fault. We'll get a divorce and go on about our lives--of course, we still love our kids?" Then, the next time you see them, the lawyers' fees, and the child support, and the division of property and the custody are all in the mix, and they HATE each other. The adversatrial nature of the divorce proceedings creates animosity where there wasn't any, which makes the children's lives that much harder.

Before throwing in the towel, stop, if there's no cheating or beating, and wait a few months to see if feelings change. (They can and do all the time.) If there are constant conflicts, go to a counselor and try to work on them--even if you think you're preparing for a civilized divorce.

Answer 3

If that is the only reason that they are staying together then NO!!!! Life happens and if you realize that you shouldn't be with somebody, don't be with that person. You can still raise the kid as the parents that the two of you are, but that doesn't mean that you have to stay together. Plus if thats the only reason you are staying together, there will probably be problems between you two all the time. That is definately not the environment that a kid needs to be raised in.

Answer 4

My parents divorced when I was rather young, and it made all of life's naturally difficult things all the more harder to tackle. However, there is no telling if I would have been in a better environment being raised by a couple who is failing in the sense of their relationship. So in my opinion, it really depends on which life is better for the children. Take into consideration that perhaps the problems in the marriage aren't worth causing greater problems for the children. But a lot of the time, the struggles caused by divorce of the parents are easier to cope with than the difficulties caused by the parents' marriage. Take abusive situations, for example. When abuse becomes a factor, much of the time the home can feel like a trap or a prison, which can cause the children to obviously seek a haven elsewhere. So should you try to work out the problems with the other parent? Absolutely, save yourself a lot of pain and your children twice that. But should you try to turn a prison into a home? No.

Answer 5

Depends on the situation. But in general, I think couples cut and run too quickly. Hollywood and society has made us think that if you are not in this euphoric love/lust relationship you are not happy and are not in love. Anyone that has parents or siblings knows that at times you are annoyed and feel like you totally don't love them, but let someone else hurt them and you are ready to fight. Whenever your in a relationship for the long haul, you will get annoyed, angry and not feel "in love". Life is sometimes hard and dealing with it can erode a relationship if you let it. A marriage requires work. Now if someone is abusing you, then I say leave. If someone is cheating on you without remorse, leave.

Most of the time if couples would communicate openly about issues, many problems could be resolved before they became large enough to destory a marriage.

Children do deserve to have a father and mother together if possible.

Answer 6

You shouldn't stay together if you don't love each other anymore. The kids will be fine as long as both parents stay civilize with each other. Just don't do thing to hurt each other because it will be reflected on the person doing the hurting and the kids will see it and pick up on it.

Answer 7

Most likely if you have kids meaning more than one, there is something to your relationship. Now that you're questioning if you should be together,it's more than likely one or both of you are not being heard or understood. You need to get back to the basics & hear each others hurts, needs & desires. Don't be quick to judge, answer . Just listen & try and understand what your mate is saying & feeling. Do it for yourself & each other, because you didn't get this far on your own. Ultimately when you grow to understand each others hurts needs & desires, weather you agree or disagree is not as big of deal as hearing & understanding. Then you are there for the children you brought into this world & can show them how to share & understand so they can be content & forfilled.

Answer 8

never.

however, every decision of a couple should be in the best interest of the children..but staying together just for the sake of the kids is not healthy either. It is better that you amicably separate but in good terms rather than stay in one roof & use it as a battle ground where the kids will have to bear with it. Children can & will understand in the future but allowing them to witness a bad relationship (esp if it includes physical/verbal fights) will torture their youngs minds & will grow up as adults with a bad image & perspective of life.

the least favor you can do with them is be a good parents if you cannot be a good couple.

Answer 9

No. If the magic is gone, staying together will only result in children being raised in an environment of despair and resentment. This will compromise the child's ability to establish healthy relationships of their own and, in fact, make for a very lonely, difficult and unhappy childhood.

Answer 10

divorce is a horrible HORRIBLE thing for a kid to go thru. I know. I am there. If you two don't love each other then don't push yourself into doing something you don't want to. Go to counseling, but if that doens't work out, your kids need to see both parents. Its very important for a child to have both parents in their lives. My father was never truly there for me. a card on my birthdays...sometimes? But I have no idea how to be when i do see him. how are u supposed to act around some man you don't know well? Be there for your children, both of you. don't move far away, and see everything, even if you don't live there anymore...recitals, plays, matches, whatever. BE THERE.