My ex bf and I want to get back together, even though hes getting married to my stepsister. What should I do?

Question

I had a bf and we were together since middle school to our 1st year of college. He was my first...EVERYTHING! When we got to college, I broke up with him, because we were only 18 when he proposed to me, I was totally unprepared. I told him, maybe we should wait awhile cus I was obsessing over my education since I went to a University and he just went to a community college. We both started to change and go our seperate ways, so I thought it was best to see other people. I didn't mean right away! So he started dating a lot of girls and he even admitted trying to make me jealous. Then my stepsister pops into the picture just this year. She asked for my blessing, and I said it was okay, but inside it hurt. Now their getting married in 2 months, even though they were only dating for 4. Now he wants to call off the wedding to be with me. We both feel complete with each other, and belong together, but I don't want to hurt my stepsister, even though she hurt me. What should I do?

The deal with the stepsister. When me and my ex boyfriend were together, she would always flirt with him. She would wear slutty outfits around the house when she knew he was coming over. She would beg him to give her rides everywhere. She would always compliment him, it was plain and simple she liked him. C'mon now, she was still in middle school when we were in high school. He said the only reason he got with her is cus he knew it would make me mad cus he was still mad I dumped him before. We've been together a LONG time, 8 years. We settled our differences and it just feels right when we're together. But I guess nobody understands, saying that "She didn't hurt me" you wouldn't know unless you were in the situation. HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?

Answer 1

She has only been dating him for 4 months. I would be honest and approach the situation with her. Or, he could approach it... It is only 4 months. You have to stop the wedding, otherwise, it will be a much bigger issue once they are married......

Answer 2

What a predicament. I am thinking that your stepsister should have never been involved with him. There is an unwritten rule that you don't date your friends ex's. However, you did say yes. Why would you say yes?

I would say that if he is feeling this way, he should definitely break-up with your sis, because it is not fair to her.

See how she feels about you seeing him, if she understands then go for it. But there is a possibility that she may lie to you and say it's okay and she might resent you for it.

Maybe you should take a long break from this guy, until he is sure of what he wants and you and your sis repair your fragile relationship.

Good luck to you.

Answer 3

Let him call off the wedding already! The history, the life journey, the whole thing is with you - not the 4 months of "newness"with the step-sister. By the way, who is this step-sister anyway? Me and my friends live by a code that keeps us just that - friends. You never, ever, ever, date or sleep with one of the "friends" X-s past or present ever or you are banished forever. We've never had an issue of a Step-sisters so this has not been factored into our "code" equasion but if it were - that's worse that a friend sleeping with the guy... Just remember this - don't get married though because you think that's what you should do. All this time. Whatever. Look at it this way - if you just met him tomorrow, asked normal questions and all, would you still want to date him? Or would you choose not to know him?You are talking about the rest of your life after all. Choose wisely.

Answer 4

I think you need to wait and see, even though it will be extremely difficult. He either needs to break off the engagement with your stepsister immediately so you and he can be together again, or... if they do get married, you need to completely change your behavior around him, since he will become your brother-in-law.

I'm so sorry you're going through this heartache. I hope you have a peaceful resolution soon.

Answer 5

Sounds like the guy really needs to get clear on what he really wants. Sounds like he really needs to GROW UP.

Weddings are EXPENSIVE, and dragging that stepsister through all that time, expense and planning is very inconsiderate, to say the least.

If he drops your stepsister and gets with you, how is that going to play in your family dynamic? What about holidays and all that?

The 3 of you need to get together like adults and clear the air before anything else happens.

Answer 6

in basic terms like each and every person else suggested, permit IT flow!!! I also have a daughter with my ex, yet he remains her father as i'm her mom. It takes 2 to tango, sorry. he's not in basic terms the sperm donor. Be fortunate he's desiring him in the process the summer. you're fortunate you're no longer considered one of those women folk who's infant's daddies disappeared and that they are caught elevating their newborn on their very own. a minimum of you have somebody keen to take him. Suck it up. It seems such as you're mad that your ex is chuffed and getting married and you do no longer choose on your son of their wedding ceremony. Why? in case you have been the single getting married and your ex became asserting "i do no longer choose for MY son of their wedding ceremony" you would be quite annoyed. apart from, you will possibly desire to have spoke back to the e-mail immediately upon getting it using fact evidently such as you probably did no longer care one way or yet another. Now which you found out he's getting married, you're mad approximately it. i be conscious of it is problematical to suck up, yet you had intercourse with this guy, you had a option to say no or be on valid start administration, it somewhat is the effect of your determination. improve up, and settle for that your son has a clean step mom. Meet her, social gathering together with her, be an person. you will need that out of your ex once you get into yet another relationship, I propose you supply him the comparable courtesy!

Answer 7

RUN !!!

A guy who dates you and then someone you're related to is bad news. A BIG NO-NO!

If your step-sister is happy with him and getting married to him, wish her well but stay as far away from him as you possibly can.

And shame on you for entertaining the thought!
.

Answer 8

Talk with your sister first and tell her that you still have feeling for him and she what she says. Don't tell her that he has feelings for you yet. See how her response is. She might just call of the wedding for you. Maybe she doesn't love him like you do and she will realize that after the 2 of you talk. If she is desperately in love with him then there must be something between the 2 of them that is magical. If that is so, then just leave them alone. He probably loves her too and you are just making it too confusing for him because you and him dated for so long. Just talk to her alone....but do it now!!!

Answer 9

Discover how to get your ex back with simple text message: http://getyourexback.checkhere.info

Many girls break up with their significant others, is because they need time to figure things out. Don't take it personally, if you want her back, you have to show her you can help her. If you love her then you'll let her go, that's it. Not everybody who you date in high school you end up staying with, the chances are extremely unlikely. So if she doesn't want to, then you need to let her go.

Answer 10

too much drama.. grow up. get a real life
They have only been together for 4 months and are engaged, sound like your ex bf is afraid to be alone and needs to be married or permanently attached to some one.
say good luck and move on. Do you really want to be with someone gets engaged to your sister (after 4 months) and then says he wants to be with you.
He is too ****** UP.

Answer 11

Wait now, he's just going to dump your stepsister? What kind of jerk are you considering here? Run this fool off, you don't want either of you hurt by him.