A really good friend of mine is divorcing her husband because he was abusing her and cheating on her. Her soon to be ex hubby told my husband and me that he knows what she is doing every moment, I fear for her life but my husband said stay out of it. I'm worried because she is now talking to someone new and her ex is having all of her calls recorded. This man is psyco and he has tried to kill her several times. I feel she needs to know this information but I hate to go against my husband. What would you do? I think that when she goes to meet her new love they both will be at jepordy.
2007-08-03 17:13:34 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband is really good friends with her ex.
2007-08-03 17:31:57 · update #1
call the police and tell her to get a retraining order. if hes been abusive then she is in danger. its also allegel to record people talking without there permission.
2007-08-04 03:39:41 · answer #1 · answered by kelli s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you need to be a friend to everyone, but, your friend could honestly be in danger of death. I think you need to take this INCREDIBLY seriously. I would inform the friend, go with her to make a police report (you have first hand information), and, help her fill out a restraining order. If he is recording her phone calls, he can be in trouble. I would explain this to my husband and explain that my concern for her safety is more important. If you did nothing, and, she end up dead, you would never forgive yourself. Being a friend is caring about that other person, and, your husband will get over it. I would expect he would understand your point of view. THis is a serious situation!
2007-08-03 17:26:13 · answer #2 · answered by Amanda h 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How in the world are you so involved that you know what is going on but your friend doesn't? Is your husband friends with the ex-husband? Why is your husband friends with an abusive man?
None of this makes sense. Of course you should tell your friend what you know. But it's crazy that she is already dating. If she is getting divorced because she made such a poor choice with her first husband (if it is her first husband) then she needs to try to figure out why she felt the need to be with him in the first place. Is she going to make a habit of picking poor choices?
Good Grief, you should let your friend know, but then you and your husband need to sit down and have a heart to heart.
2007-08-03 17:19:51 · answer #3 · answered by justanotherone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would most definitely let her know. Sure, when it comes to most things we should keep our distance, but when it comes to life or death....that is when we do everything we can to help. The best way to find the answer that you seek, is to ask yourself... would you want to know?
I am sorry that this may cause conflict in your marriage, but it is your conscience..not his that will be affected. I am surprised that he thinks you should stay out of it. Does he not realize the severity of this situation? Someone could die for goodness sake. If he says anything negative to you about it, just let him know that you had to choose between pleasing him and possibly saving a life..maybe that will bring it on home for him. Good luck to you...yessssss you must tell. You know this is the right thing.
2007-08-03 17:24:24 · answer #4 · answered by ShineOn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it were me, I would definitely tell her if I thought there was some chance he may go ape on her or her new interest. You would feel guilty if something happened to her and you could have stopped it. Put it in a note anonymous in her mailbox or something so you won't get in trouble with the hubby but you could save her life at the same time.
2007-08-03 17:51:16 · answer #5 · answered by Sumoneconcerned 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is such a good friend, you should tell her whether your husband wants you to or not. Tell her, and tell the police. Do you want it hanging over your head if something happens to her or her new love that you knew and didn't do anything to stop it? Her soon to be ex sounds very dangerous and he needs to be gotten off the streets!
2007-08-03 17:19:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell your friend all you know, it could make a difference between having a best friend and losing her to somthing that didn't have to happen. your husband will just have to understand that, ask him if the problem was on the other foot would he still stay out of it. it sounds like her ex is very dangerous you need to warn her.
2007-08-03 18:26:04 · answer #7 · answered by shari y 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to level with her and tell her to keep it on the QT.
The girl needs to change her phone and have it exclusively in her own name... preferably a cell phone.
She probably needs to MOVE without leaving any forwarding address.
She needs to get assistance, and probably needs a restraining order. The place to go to would be a women's shelter/program that has lawyers on a sliding fee basis.
2007-08-03 17:46:51 · answer #8 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you would feel guilty if you found out they were killed (your friend and her new boyfriend). let them know so the police can be contacted. you may have save two lives from someone who not only is capable but has tried to kill her already. letting either your friend or the authorities know would be the smart thing to do.
2007-08-03 17:19:29 · answer #9 · answered by bilkmilk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure why your husband is talking to someone who is a known abuser. I would tell her.
2007-08-03 17:28:43 · answer #10 · answered by Nicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋