I work in an office and am very attracted to a coworker. The problem is that we are both married! We hit it off from the day I started. Nothing has happened. We are good friends, but there is definite office flirting and private conversations often turn to sexual likes and dislikes. Another female in the office told me she is DEFINITELY flirting (almost obviously). I don't know what to do. I would never intentionally cheat, but if she initiated something, I'm not sure how I would react. How do I get out of this situation without it getting ugly... or sexual????
2007-08-03 16:37:10 · 8 answers · asked by RatherbeGolfing 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Regarding the "not intentionally cheating" phrase, I mean that I think it is possible to have good intentions, but find yourself doing something you later can't believe you did (example, when I think about our conversations).
2007-08-03 17:04:58 · update #1
Put a little more distance between you and her without it being obvious to anyone. When you have conversations with her, bring up your wife in a nice way i.e. something the 2 of you did over the weekend, or even some way in which this woman has something in common with your wife. Also, you could see about your wife coming in to pick you up at lunchtime to have lunch and introduce her around at work to everyone (including the coworker being discussed). Act natural and hold her hand after you intro her as you are leaving. There is the potential of ruining 2 marriages AND both of you losing your jobs. Keep it professional.
2007-08-03 17:06:56 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs. Goddess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All good advice. This is a bad idea on two levels-- it's personally a problem for your marriage, and professionally the number of ways it can turn ugly are too many to list.
You need to step back far enough that the two of you are not sharing a private little world. Here's a yardstick-- never say or do anything that you could not comfortably tell your spouse about.
And "never intentionally cheat"?? Nice weasle words, but face facts-- there is no way to cheat except intentionally. You can't accidentally mess around with someone.
2007-08-03 16:56:38 · answer #2 · answered by palan57 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
check along with her and notice how liberal she is approximately relationships and intercourse. in case you and she or he are out for a fling, then mutual delight may be only what she needs. IF one in all you needs extra, you're able to be able to could carry out a little extra making plans and scheming, like Leslie Gore in that music, "Wishin' and Hopin'" (which, btw, isn't what you sould do if so!). only so which you comprehend, my modern-day husband of twenty-two years have been co-workers. We performed it secure an it took us a 300 and sixty 5 days to even pass on a date! It became for the terrific.
2016-11-11 04:16:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to pull back. Stop the flirting and private conversations. Stop discussing sexual likes and dislikes. You've both gone too far. Start acting professional. You both could lose your job over this.
2007-08-03 16:45:39 · answer #4 · answered by janetrmi 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Keep ti zipped.
One of my favorite sayings is "Never s**t in your own sandbox"
You are both married, anything you do would be considered cheating....period.
Second, lets say you have a fling and it goes wrong, then what? I see some tension in the office, also not good, one of you gets pi**ed and suddenly a midnight phone call to the spouse, then 1 of you is busted, and the other spouse gets a call.
Now you are both divorced, unemployed and for what?
2007-08-03 16:44:40 · answer #5 · answered by Michael H 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're playing with fire and I hope you don't get burned. You are both married so stay away from her except for work related things. If conversations turn inappropriate apologize for giving the wrong impression and tell her you love your wife and won't do anything to jeopardize your marriage. FYI - you don't need her as a friend you need to protect your marriage and respect your wife.
2007-08-03 16:48:45 · answer #6 · answered by Michel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"if she initiated something, I'm not sure how I would react. How do I get out of this situation without it getting ugly... or sexual????" Simple, you don't put yourself IN that situation to begin with. As for not intentionally ceating...if she initiated something and YOU cheat that would be intentional. YOU would be making a CHOICE as an adult who SUPPOSEDLY knows better. IF you didn't know any better THAT would be unintentional.
2007-08-03 20:45:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
do whatever you would want YOUR WIFE to do if she were in the same situation...
2007-08-03 17:03:47 · answer #8 · answered by tammy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋