let me rephrase this, we divorced and are now back living together. we split the finances 50/50...........
about 1000 dollars because she was that far in the hole with the bank due to overdraft charges. We agree with a way of her paying me back.
she does not stick to the agreement soi ask when she will pay it back and she gets increadably angry with me. Says she hate borrowing money, expecially from me "Because I ask for it back"
she has a long history of overspending and going in the hole dispite how much i give her and how much i push a large buffer. This is why we no longer have shared bank accounts.
is she justified in her attitude, or should she be somewhat greatfull i still help her?
2007-08-03 12:36:26 · 14 answers · asked by That Guy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well despite the fact you called her your wife in another question that is identical to this one. I'm wondering if you are the one with problems. Maybe she does not have the money right now and she feels like you are on her back. Calling her your wife one minute then changeing it to Ex. I would not want to borrow money from any one who has no respect for me and can't decide on what i am to him either any more.
2007-08-04 10:01:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let's put it this way - you aren't justified to be upset with her no matter how she handles it.
You got divorced, you now live with her like she is your wife again. You know she can't manage money, but yet you still give her some anyway, instead of maybe, I don't know, say..help her with her budget or teach her the skills you have at money management. Or help her find a part time jobthat would help her get out of debt.
Pick which one she is, your roommate, that you would have a right to be uspet with & expect and be able to demand payment back, or your "wife" - where financial issues are shared.
I'm sure she is grateful for the help, but the way the two of you are handling things, you are both sending mixed messages to each other and who the heck knows what the rules and boundaries are, so of course she is upset.
2007-08-03 12:52:41 · answer #2 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you should expect for it to happen... Yet you act surprised. If she has a long history of poor money management, lending her money is like throwing it into a black hole - you will never see it again. If you want to be with this woman no matter what, then accept it, drop the subject, and next time you lend her money be realistic about never getting it back.
My ex borrowed money from me 2 years ago, I am yet to see him pay it back. Thankfully, I didn't expect to get the money back, I gave it to him to help him out.
2007-08-03 12:43:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is probably mystified that you still help her - what reason could you possibly have to think that she would pay you back? You said she had a "history" so she is well-established as someone who can not be responsible with money. Don't look for her gratitude and stop lending her money.
2007-08-03 12:57:14 · answer #4 · answered by banana6464 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you are now a couple again I would not worry about the money, Haven't you rather just have peace. If you are not a couple then dummy you should have never loan her any money knowing her history. Never loan anyone any money that you can't live without getting back.
2007-08-03 12:44:51 · answer #5 · answered by regina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my gosh well ex wife is more like it... please forgive me for my response to your other one. That is very generous of you to lend her money! I mean that is rare. Do you think my dad would let my mom borrow money (which they are divorced now obviously)? Lmao NO! So yeah she should be grateful that her ex husband is lending her money. I wouldn't give her any more until she starts repaying, unless you want to extremely generous than that's your choice. I applaud you for being a stand up "ex" lol if that makes any sense.
2007-08-03 12:44:52 · answer #6 · answered by Jackie C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't loan her any more money.....and if you get your K back, better thank your lucky stars.
Also, unless she agrees to get some serious financial counseling, you better find a place to live on your own...how do you know she's going to be able to keep up her half of the bills??
2007-08-03 12:39:57 · answer #7 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It stings her pride to have to ask for help, so that's why she reacts so angrily...plus she's probably used to just having you lend her money and not asking for it back.. or someone has done that.
I would suggest that, since you have seperate accounts and aren't married anymore, you let her sink or swim on her own. You can't cure stupid, bro....... you just watch 'em live and learn...
2007-08-03 12:43:49 · answer #8 · answered by Aron1968_30 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bad attitude and not being kind to you because if she
doesnt learn to pay back what she borrows she is
hurting you and ruining your friendship. Its not kind
to borrow money and not pay back. its a real bad
habbit and one she will starve if you dont stay around.
2007-08-03 13:05:22 · answer #9 · answered by gary b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any possibility she's back together with you only because she's financially strapped and in need of your money?
From her response, I'd say yes.
Think about it.
.
2007-08-03 18:39:17 · answer #10 · answered by YourAnswer... 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋