How do I deal with a shoplifting husband?

Question

We've been married 48 years and he had plenty of money to pay for whay he stole

Answer 1

Assuming you got married at 20, he is at least 68. At that age, it would be possible that he is developing a form of dementia.

The way you handle it really depends on how you found out. If he came home and bragged about it, I would call the store and inform them and encourage them to press charges.

If he had the item but no receipt, and seems at all confused, seek help from a doctor.

If he got caught in the store, find out from the police information about the situation -- is it possible he forgot to pay or something like that?

Then, speak to a clergy or counselor about the situation and let them assist you in helping him understand it is wrong.

Be sure to let him know that in no way do you condone his behavior, nor do you accept it and if it was willful, let him know it could end your relationship of nearly 50 years.

Answer 2

Sounds like you two are into the elderly years...and I would
suspect that your husband is into the early stages of
Alzheimers...for some of them start this...
He needs a good medical exam, and then be taken to a
counselor's office, for sure...
In his mind, he might be ''thinking'' about some ''era'' in his
past, when he might not have had money, and he doesn't
realize what he is doing...
This would be my guess, and I do believe that this is the
symptoms.
He might be helped, if this is so, with some medicine.
Was he ever in the military? If so, the VA doctors would see
him in their "Urgent Care" Unit.
If he was in the military, and he is ill in this way, you need to
''file for VA financial benefits", and also, ask for a Homehealth Team, to work with you...with personal and
medical care for him...
Also, you are old enough that you should already have a
Medicare Medical ID Card...and all you have to do is call
a Home health Agency, and have them come out and
evaluate your husband, and then ask your doctor, to give
permission for the homehealth team, to monitor the health
of your husband...
Your husband is committing a Crime, and therefore, you
need to do something, BEFORE THE LAW ENFORCE-
MENT OFFICERS, or business owners, get involved, and
then the situation is much worse...
If your husband refuses to see a doctor, then consult with
a Homehealth Agency, who can help you...take a step to-
ward the Protection of your Husband...
Also, you might want to consult with an Attorney, and discuss
fully, the details of your situation, because if it gets out of
hand any further, you're gonna need an attorney anyway...
If it is Alzsheimers, then you need to get Power of Attorney,
to handle All Affairs, concerning you and your husband...
If you have grown children, then they need to be consulted,
and allowed to help with this, because they need, and have
a Right to ''be with their dad, while his mind, is not yet...gone"
It is very difficult to deal with a person who is getting Alzheimers, and eventually they should be in a Skilled Nursing Center...
It is sad when people get alzheimers, for there's not much
a person can do for them, anymore, except see that they
are "protected from harm, and that their health is maintained
properly"...
If this is alzheimers, then you should join a Support Group
for Persons, who has a family member who has this illness.
And this will help ''see you through it"..
I'm sorry this is happening to you, but hopefully, you can take
control of the situation, and get things straightened out
properly, so the Law Enforcement isn't involved. TF

Answer 3

maybe you should see if he would be willing to talk to someone about it. In the meantime I would go back to the store and return what was stolen or pay for it. Even if you feel bad for him at all it's not fair that the store is losing money because of him. If he's never done this before my guess is something is wrong (possibly mentally)

Answer 4

Does he steal frequently, or was a one time deal? Forgive him, but if he does it again, you're going to have to tell him stop because you don't want to have to pay attorney's fees and court costs, it's not worth it. He probably finds it exciting, knowing he was able to "get away with it". But there are more cameras then ever and he can get caught very easily. Also tell him it makes you upset (in a sad way), and hopefully he'll respect that.

Answer 5

Kelptomania is an impulse disorder and this is probably what your husband has. He most likely will need you to step in and help him get over it. The treatments are therapy and anti-depressants. Educate yourself on the symptoms, causes and treatments of this disorder and then locate a therapist who is willing to help you get your husband into treatment. Link attached, good luck.

Answer 6

I would just forget about it.

Just make sure he still isn't doing it. IF HE STILL IS....you need to talk to him, and tell him how you feel. Because, shoplifting is wrong. He could go to jail.... Ask him if he really wants to risk never seeing you again, for getting things he can pay for...

And yup. It's wrong, and who knows what could be next!! He could start raping girls..... =/

TALK TO HIM! you've been married for 48 years...........cant be THAT difficult... ;)

Answer 7

He doesn't steal because he needs it, he steals because of the high he gets from it.. First, make sure he gets arrested anytime he brings stolen goods into your house. Second, GET HIM INTO THERAPY ASAP. Third, If he refuses, file for divorce.

Answer 8

Has nothing to do with money. He has an illness and needs professional help.

Answer 9

Call the cops and tell them to keep him there and that you will not be bailing him out. And then when he does get out, tell him he will change his ways, or it's divorce time.

Answer 10

I would report him..Maybe he needs a good dose of reality as to what will really happen to him if he continues..