My boyfriend called twice to apologize for the way he behaved the other night. I didn't answer the phone when he called and didn't try calling him for half a day. He was worried about me and wanted me to leave a message to say I was okay.
I tried calling him last night and have left 3 messages. I said I was sorry too, but he hasn't called me back. How can we fix this communication problem we have? He's out of town right now, so we can't talk without the phone.
And, if he was the one who was wrong, why get mad at me for being mad at him? Was I wrong to not call him right away?
2007-08-03 12:08:21 · 5 answers · asked by torn 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Communication problems can be defined in two ways. One-standard communication problems, in other words, you don't connect. Like when you argue you don't talk, or someone is doing the silent treatment, or people are yelling instead of talking. Two-Miscommunication, in other words you mistake something they said for something else. The second one is pretty fixable if you fit together as a couple, the first one is not so easy.
This is the thing... when you have communication problems they turn into a long term problem... you can talk through them, but it is bound to be a problem in the future.
Talking right away can solve mis-communication problems (problems like "hey, stop throwing your towels on the floor and put them in the laundry basket"--things like that) but, they won't solve communication problems.
I think there is a disconnect in your relationship. No one wants to talk about any of it. So, now, there is no communication which is stressful.
You don't get into what he did to cause all this. If he did something that you find could be forgiveable, and you feel the relationship is truely worth saving (in other words, he won't do this thing again, and hasn't done it before and it was a fluke) then my suggestion is that you pick up the phone when he calls, or you call him and if you don't get him, leave a voice mail. IF however, he's done this before, and this apoligizing thing is just something that ALWAYS comes after he has done this thing, then maybe it is time to reassess this realtionship and possibly move on.
Hope this helps...good luck!
2007-08-03 12:23:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you did was not communicating! You were the one wrong and YOU need to grow up and talk things out. Why should he return your calls? Because you decided you weren't mad any more? How does it feel? Next time, if there is a next time, try talking instead of pouting...
2007-08-03 19:14:42 · answer #2 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way to resolve communication problems is to communicate - not to do things like dodge calls. Silent treatment is not a good communication strategy. In the mean time, let him know that you both can talk about it when you see each other next.
2007-08-03 19:15:12 · answer #3 · answered by banana6464 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When he returns have an adult sit down, no finger pointing conversation about the things that are bothering both of you. As long as both of get a chance to talk and you both listen to each other, your chances of fixing any problems are very good.
You weren't wrong for not calling him right away.
2007-08-03 19:12:56 · answer #4 · answered by Michael K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check to see if your anteannae is still connected. Next check the signal strength and make sure that your transmitter is transmitting.
2007-08-03 19:13:29 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋