i have been with this guy Alex for 3 years...he has broken up with me so many times just to party and have fun, drink, different girls every night..etc. He always comes back in my life when im finally ready to move on and im not hurting so bad. Well We have a nine month year old baby girl now, and he acts like he loves us, then he goes and hangs out with his friends and totally rejects/abandons us and tells me to f*** off and calls me names when i want to be with him and spend time together. We were engaged..lived together and all that. Now My baby and I live back with my mom but i just feel so heartbrokena and sad it is taking over my whole life, its hard to even smile. Do people like him ever change? he has made me so many promises and i believed in him so many times. we have been broken up now for about a week i keep calling him and crying, he hangs up on me.I feel so lonley. i feel like i need him. I know hes a good person deep down. Should i give up..or keep trying to be afamily
2007-08-03 11:23:44 · 8 answers · asked by Alyssa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He does this to you because you do extactly that...call crying and pretty much begging him to come back to you....just let me tell you everytime you make that call and everytime he gets the power/upper hand of just rejecting you and hanging up on you....you continue to build his power trip. HE KNOWS he's got you extactly where he wants you and that you will sit there and put up with everything he dishes out at you. You need to wise up and realize that...even if you luv him with all your heart...STOP showing it so much...make him start wondering.."why the hell isn't she calling anymore"..why the hell isn't she crying and begging anymore"...believe me once he sees that cold shoulder...the tables will turn but knowone can say for sure if for good. My ex did that to me all the time...the more I begged the more he laughed in my face...then finally I snapped out of it and just had enough...then guess what he came back crawling....you know as corny as it may seem...the old saying IS true..."YOU DON"T KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE UNTIL IT"S GONE"...and like you I had babies to worry about. I know you luv him but you being soo depressed and unstable right now has to be taking a toll on your daughter..it's hard to even function, I know. Just stay strong and realize if he's not ready to step up and be a family man...nothing you do or say will change that. Stay at home with your mom and let him go. You will definetly find someone who makes you happy and gives you their all....I didn't believe it would happen to me but it did...now I look back at my ex and think "my god I was begging that back" and guess what??? he never changed now he just has to deal with his issues alone and see me be happy in my new life. Don't worry about other girls either...the only thing there getting are his problems...and his baggage...don't think he'll change for someone else. You should try moving on and making a better life for you and your baby...good luck...
2007-08-03 11:38:58 · answer #1 · answered by justbeingme_ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alex is controlling your life and basically using you. This will be hard for you, but the way he treats you is unacceptable. It's difficult to love someone and have faith that deep down he's really a good person, well if he was a really good person he wouldn't be telling you to "f*ck off". I am sure you feel very lonely and sad now, but somehow you need to get the courage to stay away from him. You're probably a really great girl who deserves a good relationship but you can't find that until you get rid of your bad relationship. This situation can come to an end with him and you will find a really great guy if you it a chance.
My first husband was hurtful, so I got a divorce and moved away and developed a new life. It took awhile because this is a major part of your life. But from my experience, once I was away from him long enough, I knew I would never go back to him (and yes he ask me to get married again) but you finally realize that you are worth so much more!!! You deserve to be happy and have a good life. You are worth more then what you are getting from him!!! And your daughter deserves to be raised away from such a destructive person as Alex. Please realize you are worthy of receiving a good and happy life.
2007-08-03 11:38:29 · answer #2 · answered by LAL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey girlfriend, change can only come about if someone wants to really change in his heart and you can't do that for him. He sounds like he hasn't gotten his priorities together and can't differentiate between the imaginary world and reality. why take all this pressure.I think you have given him too many chances.You deserve better and u have everything to live for, especially your baby. Never let him feel that he is the most important asset in your life because he will use that over your head all the time. You are better than the level he placed u.Be proud of yourself and know that u are a woman of dignity and standard. He was the one that strayed so no need to feel guilty. Let him take responsibility for his immature ,irresponsible and childish behaviour. There are so many other sophisticated men out there who would want to make u feel royal and proud and willing to accept u for who u are. Give yourself a chane to look at the outer world to see the millions of options u can choose from.If u accept him back with that kind of behaviour, u are saying that that's all u are worth. Value yourself high and other people would value you with respect.About the baby part??Trust me sister, you're gonna make it. "Behind every dark cloud there's a silver lining" God is gonna send a prince charmin your way, u wouldn't belive it when u see it. Hang in there girl!!! MOVE ONNNNNN
2007-08-03 11:45:13 · answer #3 · answered by curlyannf 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give up. He isn't worth your time. Why would you choose to put yourself through that? Are you afraid of being alone? There are other guys out there who are mature and wouldn't treat you this way. Are you in love? You are probably just in love with a picture or image of him in your head. No girl could love someone like that "for who they are," unless they are family or some other obligation. Are you afraid to move on? I know it's a big change but it's going to be so worth it and you'll wonder later why you didn't do it sooner.
He enjoys playing games with you and you let him. The first time...shame on him... The second time, and every time after, shame on you. Don't let him cause you unhappiness. Find someone worth investing your time into that will treat you great and be a good father to your daughter. You deserve to be happy and treated with respect so don't give up that right.
2007-08-03 11:34:16 · answer #4 · answered by νí®τǘø§ ωǿмåņ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give up. Go see a therapist and find out why you feel the way you do. The next time will be much better.
2007-08-03 11:28:01 · answer #5 · answered by Max 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has already showed you who he is. You need to move on for your daughter. You both deserve better. You need to find her a real father and you a real man. He will never be who you want him to be. sorry
2007-08-03 11:28:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What "ladylady4470" said is so true. You need to move on with your life cause he is.
2007-08-03 11:49:25 · answer #7 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only two things heal a broken heart.
"Time" or "Someone else".
(And time takes too long)
2007-08-03 11:27:23 · answer #8 · answered by _Kraygh_ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋