Let’s see if I can fool a straight woman into falling for me?

Question

Do gay men really do that? Why would they do that, what would they have to gain? Do you know of anyone who has done this?

I'm not talking (necessarily) about guys who 'find' themselves when they are in a relationship. I mean guys who know they are gay who deliberately foster a 'close' relationship with a woman.

Wessex girl - thank you for your honesty. It is bringing a totally new angle to the question.

Answer 1

Happened to me. Didn't know he was gay - until someone else told me. Plenty of flirting complimenting and winking going on for about 9 months but we never actually went out, although he did suggest it. Don't know what made me ignore the suggestion - guess it was female intuition or something like that. Was pretty down on myself at that time so maybe I attracted him like a magnet, I'm doing much better now though!

I think he's probably a bit messed up in the head or didn't want people at work to know he was gay, since he was never open about his sexuality. I have to say I felt a bit of a fool, but now know who the fool really was. Also a bit cross that I had my head played with to suit someone else's agenda. I don't speak to the guy now - and we work in the same place so it's not great, I kind of carry on as normal while he squirms when I'm around - so watch out any of you who fancy trying that game!

Answer 2

As someone else has said, they're are plenty of straight men that do that. We call them players, and they have tremendous capacity to hurt the unaware female. Their obvious agenda is usually about getting a woman into bed, but there is always an underlying agenda which are all around the mans emotional insecurity. Like the need (and it is a need) to constantly bolster his ego by having lots of women around him paying him lots of attention, and he needs that because he has no sense of self worth without it. And then you get the one's who enjoy the thrill of the chase and once they've 'scored' they feel the need to tell all their mates about it so they appear like some 'superstud' in front of other men. It's very sad really when you think about it. These guys who have nothing inside them that can draw on that makes them feel like a worthwhile person unless they go through this repetitive cycle of hurting other people. But it's a paradox because once the initial high wears off they go back to feeling like a piece of 'sh*t' worse than they did before until they can get their next 'fix'.

So, I'm guessing, but I would say it's probably something similar with gay men (i'm not really sure if gay men do that or not but lets assume they do) but without the sexual agenda.

The problem is they're going to have to choose their 'victims' carefully, because unless they choose a female with a similar lack of self worth, they end up being the one's who get hurt.

The desperate, needy, woman with poor self esteem fall for it, but the one's who know their own value and put a metaphorical high price tag on themselves will sooner or later realise there's another hidden agenda going on and will walk away.

At that point depending on the length and nature of the relationship, the guy usually gets pretty angry and says things like 'your loss' and 'be happy' and by so doing reveals how much he's hurting inside. And she walks away thinking Okaaay.

He is also playing a very dangerous game because high value women come with a high emotional price tag, and attract hundreds of men who perceive them to be high status, but not all can afford the emotional price of failure.

So in answer to your question what have they got to gain. Nothing. Not if they're playing games.

But there is a world of difference between playing games and genuine closeness on a non-physical level, which can be a wonderfully rewarding for both people, and that makes the odd occasion when one does get 'fooled' worth the risk.

Answer 3

I don't know if gay guys do it but some straight guys do it. I think they get a kick out of messing with peoples emotions. I do know a straight guy who has done this but I don't know any gay men to tell you if they do it or not.

Answer 4

I know of a gay guy who went out with a woman for a couple of years!!!!
She's such a nice person that I feel so sorry for her, but she just accepts he must have been confused or trying to hide it.
She's moved on now but I think he was so wrong to waste two years of her life.

Answer 5

I personally don't know of any gay men that have done that. But I wouldn't suggest it, because straight people have feelings too :-P

Answer 6

specific there are. do not pay attention to those ny circumstances study saying maximum women evaluate women extra beautiful. that doesn't define the entire inhabitants of girls. they're generalizing.

Answer 7

if a 'gay' man is trying to fool a woman into falling for him then hes not as gay as he thought he was.

Answer 8

They do this because they don't want to accept the fact that they're gay and they rather be straight.

Answer 9

Insecure losers.

Answer 10

i would seriously hope that people dont enjoy getting kicks out of messing with others emotions. thats not nice