I love my boyfriend more than anyone Ive ever dated... Im not young this is not puppy love I am a grown professional adult and so is he. But we have major issues that will follow us throughout this relationship that are not going away. I do not want to break up with him because I love him so much. But these issues are major issues and this relationship just will not work. The issues are : trust, communication, family and friends, and the fact that he has a daughter already who doesnt want him to have anymore children (and he told her that he is happy just having her and wont have anymore kids but then told me that he wants more kids)... How do you break up with someone you truely love more than anything? what are some ways to help me move on? tonite.
2007-08-03 10:45:24 · 15 answers · asked by I know best 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
he questions everything i say and do to the point he says my life is a complete **** show
he has called me names in the past although has gotten MUCH better at controlling his temper and hasnt done that in awhile
he is full of double standards
IN fact... like one user said if he is good for my soul and hasnt hurt it than dont break up with him.. but he has hurt me... nothing is perfect but enough is enough. I just dont know how to get over someone that i love this much.
2007-08-03 10:56:42 · update #1
Have you discussed these issues with him? If you have, and there has been no change, I suggest that you stay focused on the decision that is for your highest good, it will provide you with the strength to end this relationship and move forward.
There is no easy way to let go of someone that you genuinely want to be with, I commend you for recognizing the major snags between you and him at this stage in your relationship.
If you haven't already, try to see if you and he can clear up the issues that stand between the two of you before you call it quits. You want to end it knowing that you gave all you could before allowing it to die its' own death. That way you will minimize your regrets.
2007-08-03 11:00:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
By realizing the pros and cons about him. Make a list. If the cons outweigh the pros then you've pretty much answered your own question. Moving on is a difficult task, especially since your feelings are so much more stronger for you significant other. You need someone that will fulfill what you want in a relationship and vice versa.
Sounds like you know what you want and you know what makes you happy. Talk to him, and go from there. You seem to have a good judge of character, if he doesn't respond in the way you had expected, then it's time to leave him and find someone whose 100% about you, a relationship where the both of you are putting into it, and you're both receiving what you want.
Good luck!
2007-08-03 17:52:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the person flat out all of the issues your relationship has....do not set all the blame on him and make him angry....if you make him angry....you will get nothing out of the conversation....tell him you love him, but do not think you can stand the stain in your relationship....tell him you think it might be best for both of you if you both went your seperate ways....
Be sure that you have given him a chance to talk with you first about your problems and you are at a mutual agreement that you have tried to work through them....
I am sorry if you do have a hard time with him and without him, but you are probably better off being able to live without a BIG weight on your shoulders and now you are able to find someone that you CAN be in a relationship with, that you can actually be happy with....
2007-08-03 17:55:27 · answer #3 · answered by *Swimfan48* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly there is no easy way to move on, but it seems you already know that it won't work. The easiest way to break up with him is to just tell him what you are feeling and let him know it won't get better and that it is time both of you move on, both people deserve happiness. If there are these issues obv neither are happy, it makes it hard when you love someone, but there comes a time when you know it wont work out and have to say goodbye and move on, no matter how much it hurts
2007-08-03 17:49:57 · answer #4 · answered by Jai 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said in here that you have major issues one of them being trust. In any relationship doesn't matter what the relationship is, love, Friends, work, healthcare, if there is no trust there is no relationship.
If you do not trust him then I would venture to guess you, deep down, don't really love him. It may be you need to break up with him for him to see what he is missing.
I know it will hurt doing that, but as I said...the lack of trust issue is a big one here.
2007-08-03 18:08:25 · answer #5 · answered by mikeae 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey? first you want to flip flop on an issue, and then you want to break up with him? Follow your heart man...if you can make things work, make them work. you can always talk to the daughter. I remember when i was younger, i was a little punk, and I wished that I didnt have any younger siblings...but now that Im 17, a lot has changed, and I did wish that I had younger siblings just so that when I'm home at 3 AM in the morning, I know that there's somebody I can always chill with there. Anyway...cmon gal, you got this.
2007-08-03 17:49:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly love him, then why break up? Why not talk and work out the issues? Why not try counseling? Doesn't love conquer all?
Honestly, I'd seriously think about this before acting. If you love him and he's good to your soul (doesn't hurt it or make it feel dirty in any way by bad or negative or immoral behavior), then you have something that should be fought for.
Good luck!
2007-08-03 17:50:39 · answer #7 · answered by isisjean 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there are trust issues, you need counseling or to call it quits.
If you want more kids and he doesn't, you need to call it quits.
If he is listening to his daughter more than you, he's a good father, but its going to be tough for you. I'd call it quits.
The simple answer is when the person you love makes you sad more often than they make you happy, its time to keep the happy memories and put the old love behind you - leave the bad memories there too.
2007-08-03 17:54:03 · answer #8 · answered by Pantros 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, sometimes love isn't always enough. It sounds like you have already made your decision, so just sit the man down and explain everything in an honest manner. Don't be hurtful, but be direct. Ensure he understands you have made a decision and will not change your mind. Avoid saying things like "maybe in the future things will change." Hopefully, after time, you can remain friends.
Good Luck!
2007-08-03 17:49:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can tell you what I did. I broke off a one year relationship and engagement for some of the same reasons you mention. I did it abruptly. I cut off all ties, didn't answer my phone for a month. (I still check the phone ID.) It was very very hard to do. I had to bite the bullet so to speak. But I knew it was the best thing for the both of us.
It gets easier to deal with with time. I still think about her every day. Just not nearly as much as I used to. Its been five months now.
2007-08-03 17:55:04 · answer #10 · answered by Max 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋