I have been with this man for the past ten years and like any normal couple we have had our share of ups and downs. We are currently in the process of building a house and the closer it gets to closing the more nervous I get. We have lived together but in a 3 bedroom apt. Am I just nervous becuase this is such a big step?
2007-08-03 10:24:15 · 15 answers · asked by MeMe 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't believe I said anything about not being married!!!
2007-08-03 10:50:01 · update #1
Things like this are big steps and it is perfectly natural for you to be feeling nervous about such a drastic change. You guys are going to be going from an apartment into a real home that you both worked together to build. This is one of the many changes that take place. Similar feelings are usually felt with the first kiss, the first sexual endeavor, the marriage proposal, the wedding, the honeymoon, the first time having sex as a married couple, the first child, and, of course, the first house.
Big steps are always scary. One thing you have to remember when going through somehting like this is that you always have someone to talk to when you are feeling this way. No, I don't mean the people on yahoo answers. You have the man with whom you have shared the past ten years of your life and with whom you are building you first house. If you have anything you need to talk about, talk to him. There is no one else that could possibly help you through such a transition better than he could.
Best of luck
2007-08-03 10:31:35 · answer #1 · answered by tranquilpsycho 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Probably. It is normal to have cold feet when you're changing situations and when there are stressful things involved - like closing on a new house. It's a big step, but just b/c you're nervous doesn't mean you shouldn't follow through. You have a lot invested in the relationship - 10 years. Once you settle in together I'm sure the nervousness will pass.
2007-08-03 17:27:49 · answer #2 · answered by needstoknow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be more normal if you were together for 10 yrs because most people would have taken these steps much earlier. If you are not yet married and still together after all this time I would venture to say one of you probably has a fear of commitment which would lead to cold feet.
Good luck! You've stuck it out this long you can make it!
2007-08-03 17:33:04 · answer #3 · answered by Ann B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, this is not just a big step..this is a HUGE step. A first house with a man you've been with for so long can be very exciting and a big nerve wrecker. You may not be getting cold feet because of this man you have been with but because this is just a very big step in your life. A house is somewhere you go to everyday and it is just as significant as a marriage, a new baby, or a death. It can stir up alot of emotions and cold feet is not a big deal. It is just your mental self trying to comprehend a new step in your life.
Goodluck with your man and house!!!
2007-08-03 17:36:15 · answer #4 · answered by Oops, did I say that? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. It's normal anytime there's a big change to second guess yourself. Owning a house is a big step. Just remind yourself why you have been together for the last 10 years and focus on the next 10.
2007-08-03 17:42:26 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lemme see, been living together for 10 years, not married, *BUT* building a house "together". What is wrong with this picture? What do you think? You have every reason to be nervous. You are making a huge mistake.
2007-08-03 17:28:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's probably just jitters over home ownership. It sounds like you're not married, so this new home will formalize your relationship to a certain extent. Before you didn't have joint ownership of the property, so if you split, you just dumped the apartment and moved on. Now you're going to own a house together, not quite as simple.
Good luck.
2007-08-03 17:29:38 · answer #7 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's natural to be nervous, it's a big step and a big purchase, there is mortgage and obligations that comes with owning a house, but hey, consider yourself lucky, you will have a place of your own. You can decorate it as you please. Try to enjoy this time and look forward to making your future house a home you can be proud of.
Good Luck.
2007-08-03 17:37:53 · answer #8 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are subconsciously wishing you had a higher commitment level in your relationship, before making such a big financial one. I think you are normal.
2007-08-03 17:29:10 · answer #9 · answered by T I 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say so, but as long as you paperwork lists equal ownership, you will always be entitled to 1/2 the equity & deductions for tax purposes. Relax, it's just a house.
2007-08-03 17:29:05 · answer #10 · answered by mikebnchprss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋