So I am divorced and my ex husband was my first boyfriend, the only guy I've slept with, the first guy I've kissed and I am having a hard time not getting over the divorce but trying to like someone. I don't even have a crush on anyone right now an I hate the way that feels. I'm scared that I might not ever be able to let anyone into my life again. Is this normal? Does anyone have any suggestions on getting over this phase? i have a couple of guys that would like to date me but I don't even want to spend time alone with a guy for some reason. I don't understand why I feel this way. Because I know that our marriage wasn't meant to be, we are both happier apart and I just want to be able to like someone again.
2007-08-03 09:57:35 · 17 answers · asked by hideemosquito 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It may take 2-3 yrs. Probably not, but might. My first husband was my first, too. It was hard but I did find someone else and we are married with 4 kids. :) Take things SLOW. Do it for yourself and don't feel badly about it! Lots of conversation and simple fun with guys is the best way to handle the newness. :)
2007-08-03 10:01:51 · answer #1 · answered by CAT 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear your marriage ended in divorce. It's tough. Been there.
You didn't mention how long you have been divorced or even apart, so this is hard to answer. But, I think if you learn to like yourself first, then the rest will follow. I would take the guys who want to date you up on their offer, but do so letting them know you want to go as a friend only. I think if you spent time with another man and found someone who made you feel good about yourself and the world around you that you will see that there are other fish in the sea. cheesey I know, but it's the truth.
If it has been less than 6 months for your divorce, take your time and make sure you're ready. Don't rush. Friends first.
2007-08-03 10:16:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok take a deep breath.......give yourself a break and lots of time. take the time to date and get to know some new guys. it's okay to date more than one at a time ( i don't advocate you sleep with them however.....this is never a good idea). look at dating like developing new friendships and nothing more. since your husband was your first boyfriend, this is a special circumstance.....you may want to try some therapy.....an objective ear to help you sort through what i'm sure are some very strong and painful emotions for you (whether or not the marriage was meant to be or not). you sound like you have your head screwed on straight and that is wonderful. that means you are going to be fine... just don't rush things for the sake of being liked.....that never works......all the best :-)
2007-08-03 10:04:20 · answer #3 · answered by bella36 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It just takes times. And since he was your first for everything you are having a harder time than most because he is all that you know. But when you are ready, start dating, nothing serious but go and have fun wth another guy. Once you do that a few times you will find that you may enjoy yourself.
2007-08-03 10:02:01 · answer #4 · answered by Marie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it time and you'll be able to get in a groove of dating. At least you reconized your marraige wasn't meant to be. That's a big plus. Don't dwell on it and don't look at it as a failure. Look at it as expirence. Been there and know exactly how you feel. If you'd like you can email me for support or a shoulder or whatever.
2007-08-03 10:03:43 · answer #5 · answered by seahorse 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop looking for love; it will find you.
The problem is probably that you're trying too hard to find someone you like, but really, love is harder to find than a good pair of shoes.
Trusting someone in a marriage, then losing that trust in a divorce is hard. It hurts, but time heals all wounds.
2007-08-03 10:03:09 · answer #6 · answered by Avillie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are not ready to date again. Give yourself some more time. You didn't say how long you have been divorced. But giving yourself some time to be single for awhile is not such a bad thing.
2007-08-03 10:02:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself as much time as you need to get adjusted to this new phase of your life. Enjoy yourself!! When something is meant to click - it will. Relax, but be careful and use common sense. God Bless!!
2007-08-03 10:00:42 · answer #8 · answered by j b 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you may need to give it more for your heart to heal. You wont want to date anyone untill your ready to allow someone to. I would'nt say this is not normal. Dont beat yourself up, just give it some time...
2007-08-03 10:04:02 · answer #9 · answered by Kevin W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you aren't ready to date, then you shouldn't force yourself to date. You should do stuff that you're ex wouldn't do with you, hang out with friends or travel. Take care and indulge yourself.
2007-08-03 10:02:35 · answer #10 · answered by Brynn S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋