He has been struggling with staying sober for the past year and did for 6 months until a month ago when he stole my car and got busted for his 3rd DWI. In NY thats a second felony. He may get treatment for his problem, but has been in treatment for the past 6 years and has been to prison, but he keeps messing up. He wants me to stay and support him through, and in a way I do because I still have faith in him, but I cheated on him recently. Hes not home, hes not there, and Im confused about what I should do. Im in love with him, but I dont want have to go through this again with him. I told him I would stay, if he gets treatment, but Im cheating on him, and I feel so ******* guilty,,,, please help
2007-08-03 09:38:47 · 17 answers · asked by Anabelle26 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sweetheart this guy is going to drag you down with him if you stay with him. Be there as a friend for him if you need to but a leopard doesn't change his spots. If he's still struggling for this long and cant keep it straight chances are he may never and YOU can't fix him. Dont lose yourself. Lose this guy.
2007-08-03 09:47:47 · answer #1 · answered by t_avalon 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would leave him alone, because if you don't you will wind up with a record. If he is as irresponsible as you describe him the next time drugs are left in your car could mean you get arrested for possession. He is using you for transportation and of course you are the best thing that has happened to him. He hasn't hit you yet. If he is as bad tempered as you say he is it is only a matter of time before he does. A little drinking problem can turn into a big drinking problem real fast. He sounds like a real loser and if that is you in the picture you deserve and can do better. This is May and trees are being trimmed all over, so he could have applied for the job a while back.He is lazy and uses you for what he can get out of you! If he cared he would not have you go somewhere at 6 am and than not be there. He would not disappear for days and ignore you. I would advice you to attend some Al-Anon meetings so you learn how to deal with him and stay away from him.
2016-05-17 10:15:27 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship with your boyfriend doesn't have a future because it looks like he's not that serious to solve his drinking problems and in a way he knows you will take him no matter what.
You said you love him but more than love it looks like an obsessive relationship, and it's not good for neither one.
He needs help but not yours, professional. And you need to move on now that you have a chance, take this opportunity to evaluate what you're looking in a relationship, you have a new mate, maybe there could be something else, something better.
2007-08-03 09:51:04 · answer #3 · answered by Lulu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think after 6 years, then he's not going to change very much. Why throw your life away for some guy that can't keep his act straight? Think of it this way... in another 5 years do you see yourself doing this?
2007-08-03 09:59:58 · answer #4 · answered by Destinee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave. not because you cheated but because his problem will only get worse and he could start being mean to you. that is no place for you. that is not how you want to live your life. that is not what you want to go home to everyday after work. what is you bring his child into the world and they act like he does. thats hereditary.
2007-08-03 09:57:11 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anabelle,
This relationship is going nowhere fast.
This man can't quit his drinking. It's a disease and without AA, he'll never beat it for long. He'll need to live it every minute of every day, and one drink will be all it takes to binge again.
And besides, you're cheating on him. You obviously can't honor your commitments, either.
Come on girl...it's time to move on with your life. He'll have to deal with his problems...and you need to start over and deal with yours.
Good Luck!
2007-08-03 09:50:08 · answer #6 · answered by Barbi T 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
by leaving him, you'll be doing him a favor. let him hit bottom and realize he's got a problem on his own. nobody, including you and the court system, can force him into recovery. besides, do you want to be around him if he's drunk and finds out you cheated on him?
2007-08-03 09:50:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you love him and think he can beat this then quit cheating and support him. If you don't think he will beat this and want to move on then do that. Only you can make the decision that is best for you.
2007-08-03 09:51:13 · answer #8 · answered by Michel 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
dump the zero and get with a hero, unless you actually like losers, which many women do, they think they can fix these losers or be captain save-a-ho, if that's you then keep dating him and other losers like him and soon you'll be down in the dumps too because there's nothing that losers like more than to make others miserable with them
2007-08-03 09:45:37 · answer #9 · answered by glittiris 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
omg please u already know the answer!!!
leave that piece of sh!t!!! u have a future and unless u want to end up in a morgue when he gets out, i would definitely get away! people like him dont change. an as for you cheating, cant help ya there.
2007-08-03 09:48:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋