my American friend is staying with me, should i give him a real good English beating???

Question

an american friend is staying with me and keeps annoying oneself. I went down into the larder earlier on and wasslightly perterbed when he asked for Jelly, I made him a bowl of jelly( 2 hours later) and he laughed and called me a jackass, he meant preserve( jam). He says YARP when hes agreeing and NAH whn disegreeing. Hes got some unbelievable theories too, he actually thinks that america has its own culture, how I laughed...He also believes that american education may be the equivalent of that of us Brits Ha! Ha! I must admit it has been an experiance but one that shall be forgotten rather quickly. Now I dont know whether to take him into the paddock and show him culture British style( with boxing gloves) or use my wit, grit and determination and outfox this cretin to make him believe that on the second night, in england its ood custom to sleep on top of the barn.

Answer 1

David R & Doctor John... you two clowns crack me up. Neither one of you could whip cream.
Better that you vent here. Your attitude "sucks". I appologize if that's not a Brit term, but you get the "drift". (Oops, sorry again.)
Y'all have a good day, ya'hear!

Answer 2

Well obviously you didn't like the idea of an American staying with you in the first place. Rather than just being ignorant to each others differences, why don't you try to be more accomadating with each other. When we call each other names, that doesn't neccesarily mean we are really trying to insult you, it just depends on the context of it.
Obviosly you've never been to America either, because then you woulnd't be saying that we don't have any culture. If you have, why would you judge an entire country based on one place that you visited (most likely a major city)?
You make yourself sound like the average stereotypical snooty Brit......
I'm sure you both could learn some things about each other, but if you want to generalize right off the bat, you will accomplish nothing, exept more stereotypes. If you think he's being rude, you need to let him know.

Answer 3

Duuuuuude, you just made us Brits look like JACKASSES. Firstly, he's your American friend you should have at least tried to wise up on the lingo before he came over anyway.

Secondly, if you're going to post a genuine question you could at least do it without insulting people.

Think of this though, if there genuinely is competition between the two of you then maybe you could see who the bigger man is by being the person who is most forgiving. He's your (FRIEND) not an (ENEMY).

If he's no longer a friend send him packing to the nearest hotel but at least be a civilised Brit in the process and just try to seem competent.

Answer 4

They have very strong penalty for drug trafficking. Death is the word. Don't even think about it. Partying in Vietnam is no problem. Vietnamese ladies love Americans. Some will look forward to a marriage. Some are for fun. Some are for money. Some travelers bring ATM cards. Hard to bring cash for your one month stay. Hotel charge can be paid by credit card. Daily expense can be around 20 to 80 USD.

Answer 5

Now you must be fair and remember the Marquis of Queensbury rules. You must both sit down and experience both cultures by watching a whole day of British and American comedies, for example The Office vs The Simpson's. You'll either smash each others face in or be friends for life.

Answer 6

American or nor he sounds a com[plete tosser, so do your worse. What is interesting is some of the responses of our American friends on this site when given a few home truths.
How the Hell can they formulate a Foreign policy to diffuse a huge swathe of the world that clearly loathes and detests them, when they can see no further than their own state line.
Read between your own lines on this page alone ...borrowed history, borrowed culture in a country that belongs to a race of tribes they all but massacred just over a century ago ...do carry on America, after all we,ll all be writing and speaking fluent Chinese when you do eventually IMPLODE!!

Answer 7

i have to say that most Americans are like this, at least the ones from Texas are, i lived there for 2.5 years and most of them are very stuck up and believe their country has the best of every thing, including eating habits (shrugs). now i think the idea of beating him up sounds good. But Americans are so big and have such huge egos and are rather dim that it takes rather a long time for the message to sink in. the best way is to tear them apart with words, every time he says yarp, say excuse me, same with nah. and every time he brings up American culture, point out which culture they stole it from. this works very well, also you can bring up their crap time keeping in both WW1 and ww2. god damn they were really late both times. ask about his beliefs, and sorry if your christian but if he mentioned intelligent design, TEAR HIM TO SHREDS!!!! stuff like this works much better than a good beating and is more fun to watch them crushed beneath the huge pile of facts, until they finally admit that their country is full of fat stupid people with no sense of stile, no self control and all the original culture as G.W. Bush's arm pits.

Answer 8

beat the effing sh!t out of him!
evil bas t ard! how dare he call you a jacka.ss after you made him some jelly and then go he wanted some jam!

tell him to speak english! cheeky american and tell him to respect our culture if he is going to stay in our country!

i would never do that to someone, abuse somebodies hospitality and then take the p!ss out of there country.
that's really p!ssed me off now. >=(

and before americans and englishmen alike start giving me the thumbs down, my dad has some american friends out in Iraq and when he came to visit us in England, he was polite and listened to our views on everything and made an effort to fit in with us.
so i notice that not all americans are like that, sorry if any other americans take offence to this.

Answer 9

Ha ha your funny. I think you should introduce him to a few unusual British customs, anything obscene purely for entertainment...but the barn roof would be rather funny. I also think that you would be able to out wit him without question, let me know how you get on i find this very amusing x

Answer 10

Sounds like the Brits are not the best hosts in the world. Maybe that is why the USA is the greatest country in the world. And by looking at your language skills, I would agree that our education level must be much higher and more advanced than the Brits...

PS Don't worry Silverback...I've already been there and was not really impressed. I won't be back...Tahiti is more my style. The answers for this question from the Brits only support my response. We kicked your butts in 1776 and can do it again if necessary. I do love the music from your musicians, however. Pink Floyd is the absolute best, I will give you that.