She found out by checkin his text messages and then confronted the husband and at first he denied it, but then said it won't happen again, its been 5 months on going and this just happend. how do I handle this cause they are both my friends and I know that he is not really sorry about what happend. any advise????
2007-08-03 09:24:30 · 47 answers · asked by cookster 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
be a good friend and mind your own business. be there to support your friends but let them work out this problem on their own.
2007-08-03 09:27:08 · answer #1 · answered by deathwishpussy 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm pretty opinionated on this subject.My husband cheated on me. I had two small children at the time. He denied it at first and then said he would stop. The problem is once they start they can't stop. They think I've already done it so what will it hurt doing it again. It's pretty sad and it hurts when someone breaks such a vow. She should move on and divorce him. He will not change. She will always be suspecting him and will not trust him. It makes for a miserable relationship. Not to mention the diseases he could carry home with him. She should count her loses and move on. And as for you.
She will need your support during this time. Advise her to get counseling. Maybe a church. They will give her free counseling. Sorry for the bad news. Hope all will be well soon. God Bless.
2007-08-03 09:34:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you the one he was cheating with?
if not, you have nothing to worry about.
the "bad guy" is obvious. since you say you're his friend too, you can talk to him about it. see if there's a reason behind it. I know, no reason's a good reason, but if he's not feeling sorry, then there must be more to it than what you think you know. maybe he'll open up to you and you can feed that info to your gf.
PS
"it's been 5 months on going and this just happened"
do you mean he's been cheating for 5 months and she just found out or she found him out 5 months ago and he's still at it? if he JUST got caught, give the man a chance to make a clean break so you don't have to deal with a stalker. a week is plenty of time.
if it's been 5 months and he's still cheating, tell her to dump his ***. he won't change.
2007-08-03 09:32:29 · answer #3 · answered by CGAA72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are dogs.. not all of them, but a lot of them. I say leave it to GOD, he handles all. He can give you and guide you in the right direction of what to do. As for your cheating friend that you know isn't sorry for what he did, doesn't sound like the kind of friend I would want. I think you should be there for the friend who got hurt. If she chooses to stay with him, that is her bad or whatever, just be there for her, and tell her you are there for her, and you will be there for her when he does it again, because ONCE A CHEATER... ALWAYS A CHEATER!!!!! GOD bless!!!
2007-08-03 09:29:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do is be there for her when she wants to talk about it other then that there isn't anything else. When my husband cheated on me my friend was there for me to talk, this was her idea in the first place she said what are friends for so when we were together i talked and she listened.It's been 10 years now sense it happened and now she tells me that, that's all i ever talked about. I remember her saying to me, if you ever want to talk about anything just pick up the phone I'm here for you. Well i never did call her on the phone just to talk about my husband and me because i did not want to bother her at her home she had her own family to take care of. When we went out together one on one was the only time i would talk about my problems. To hear my best friend telling me now 10 years later that that's all i ever wanted to talk about hurts me deeply. Be prepared for her to talk your ears off about it but don't do what my so called best friend did and complain about it 10 years later. If you think she is talking about it a little to much tell her don't just let her go on and on about it because she will as long as you listen she will talk. So do yourself both a favor and stop her when you think she is starting to repeat herself.
2007-08-03 09:46:42 · answer #5 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not for you to do anything about. She knows about it, it's for her to handle. This isn't one of those "I saw my friend's husband with another woman, should I tell her" things. She knows about it already. All you can do is be there for support. But, here's the way I see it. He's been cheating for 5 months, it wasn't a one-time thing after he got wasted at a bar. He's not sorry for cheating, or he wouldn't have been doing it for 5 months, he's sorry he got caught. Period.
2007-08-03 09:37:35 · answer #6 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you know that he is not really sorry. I would suggest that unless you know something for a fact I would stay out of it. Other wise you might cause more problems. I was cheated on before and a friend of my ex wife's was my friend also and she told me that she was still cheating even though my ex said she was not. So I was glad that she was honest with me. However I was more close to her then she was to my ex. Check your evidence and act accordingly.
2007-08-03 09:29:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is the truth of it...
If he begged her to be more sexually attentive and he was very disappointed in the bedroom... even if he didn't say it this straight forward... the marriage can be safe from future infidelity by patching the weak spot which is his sexual needs not being fulfilled.
If he WAS happy with sex then he most likely is a player and will do it again.
2007-08-03 09:28:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
because they are both your friends i would stay out of it so there are no hard feelings between she knows that is the important thing now the rest is up to her she will open her eyes and that day she does she will find out when you let them get away with it once they find a better way to do it so that there girl dont find out when shes tired and comes to you just be there because there is nothing you can do at this moment
2007-08-03 10:35:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
im kinda in the same boat. ask what she wants to do. and be there for her and help her as much as possible cause she really needs someone right now. if they divorced who would you choose? her or him? most likey her cause you guys are closer and gal friends so i would take her side not his cause he messed up. she does need to leave cause from what i know men dont change. they dont have that saying for nothing. even have her get on one of these and ask people for help and everyone will help her annd give her advice and will make her feel better and want to leave with no guilt. if she doesnt do nothing than he does it again than its her own fault for putting up with it over and over. cheating is huge. hope things work out
and dont listen to other people saying to stay out of it cause its not like your snooping with out her permission and your trying to help. she talked to you about it and she needs you, when i need help i always go to my friends and family for help and get there advice. and your trying to be a good friend and get other peoples advice too. your a good friend. keep being there for her she needs you.
2007-08-03 09:43:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she loves him it will be hard for her to leave him even if he keeps on cheating (and he probably will if she doesn't do anything). If you are friends with both of them then stay out of it. If you have a loyalty to one over the other then support that person.
2007-08-03 09:31:57 · answer #11 · answered by Michel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋