What is the first thing I should say to a friend of mine who will be coming out to me shortly? OF COURSE I will be COMPLETELY supportive and accepting...it takes a strong person to do this.
So, please spare me any RUDE comments you might be pondering...sincere answers ONLY! Thanks!
2007-08-03 09:22:54 · 13 answers · asked by O->--< 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I recently (as in three weeks ago) came out to my best friend and told her I was seeing my girl friend. She told me she loved me and that she wasnt here to judge me. She was rather curious but she asked in a way that didn't make me feel like she was judging, she asked geniunely. I didn't want to tell her at first and she just kept telling me if I had anything to tell her it didn't matter she still loved me no matter what. I think she kinda expected it when I told her she wouldn't beleive what I wanted to tell her and that she wouldn't accept it. But she did and she was very open and basically just let me know she is there. Now I have someone to talk to and it awesome. I love her so much because even though she doesn't approve of my relationship, she accepts it and she loves me anyway.
2007-08-03 09:53:54 · answer #1 · answered by ajdb090706 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the thing that all of my friends did for me was act like it was nothing, because in actuality its not a thing at all. the most important thing was having friends to listen to me if i had a bad day or was confused or just needed to vent! all of m friends had questions and some even though were a tad offensive were still answered. in a time of needing a friend this is the most important! its not just a quick one day process, this person has put a lot of effort and time and energy into deciding who to tell, when to tell and how to tell. the only thing you can do is wait it out and when the time comes listen attentively, it does take a strong person to come out but don't forget that your part as a friend requires you to be strong as well. this person has cried over this, laughed over this, stressed over this so now is the time for their personal weight to be lifted off of their shoulders, which really is where all the weight lays. you are a good friend to be looking into this and wanting to help. it makes you an amazing and helpful human being and you should give yourself a pat on the back. not only will your friend thank you in the future, our whole community will thank you for making it easier on someone, because it is a life changing and crazy period in someones life. thank you
2007-08-03 17:46:07 · answer #2 · answered by Andrew J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Question is - how do you KNOW they are going to come out before they actually do???
I think that the best thing you can do is be TRULY supportive - coming on too strong will only make them feel more isolated/hurt. Sensetivity - at least in the beginning - is key ;););)
2007-08-03 16:28:04 · answer #3 · answered by kr_toronto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a good start: tell him you recognize how much strength it takes to do this.
Then listen to him. If he is anything like me, he spent years bottling things up w/o anybody to talk to. So he might have a lot to get off his chest. Be ready to be patient and listen a lot.
Then, whatever else he says, let him know you love him. That will be the best of all.
2007-08-03 16:28:01 · answer #4 · answered by Acorn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, knowing me...I would probably joke about it. I had a friend of mine come out to me and it looked like he was about to cry , he was so nervous, so I patted him on the back and joked that I'd finally be able to check out guys with him at the mall, lol. Whatever happens, and you know your friend more than me, try to make him or her feel calmed. Being gay is as natural as being straight, so try no to make a big deal of it!
2007-08-03 17:32:03 · answer #5 · answered by Sandi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that they're achieving quite an accomplishment by coming out. Remind them that they now get to be honest and open about who they are. They don't have to hide any more.
2007-08-03 16:33:41 · answer #6 · answered by geewillie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
say thanks for telling me.
Don't say that you suspected because they are probably already paranoid as it is. most people's CLUES are based on stereotypes and if you tell them why you suspect you could end up offending them.
The way you dress, or the way you touch people, shyness or any number of other things could all be influenced by outside factors like ethnicity or personal comfort levels.
people ask me about why I love cooking and is it because i'm gay . I tell them simply : ...Cooking doesn't make me gay---sucking @#%! does.
2007-08-03 16:50:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say..Oh..Okay..and then act like its no big deal..because quite frankly..its no big deal...so what..they are still the same person..You will probably surprise them with your reaction and they will be able to put it behind them and continue with the friendship..
2007-08-07 08:43:47 · answer #8 · answered by eric r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say that you're glad that your friend trusted you enough to tell you.
See what their comfort level is with talking about it and go from there.
Your friend is lucky to have you.
2007-08-03 16:26:01 · answer #9 · answered by hapetobme 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I accept you for who you are and will always be there for you. Thank you fo being honest with me and I will always be your friend.
2007-08-03 16:26:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋